“PURSUING PEACE WITH EVERYONE”
“Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness– without it no one will see the Lord.” (Hebrews 12:14, Holman Christian Standard Bible)
I am not a peaceful person. I struggle to be at peace with myself, with me wife, with other drivers on the highway (I’m probably completely alone in this), with anyone who disagrees with me, even with those who basically agree with me. I tend to be an equal-opportunity non-peaceful person.
So, I don’t like Hebrews 12:14. Need? Yes! Like? No!
But I do not believe that Bible verses (or anything else in the universe) exists for me to like them.
On the other hand, the very fact that this command to seek peace with everyone is in the book of Hebrews suggests that folks in the church probably didn’t like it either. After all, if you have to write to someone to do something, the very fact that you have to tell someone something suggests that they might not be doing it. Right? I take some comfort from that fact.
However, while misery loves company, misery is still misery. And the truth is that being an un-peaceful person is pretty miserable.
In the original Greek, the tense of the verb “pursue” is a present tense. In Greek, the present tense suggests ongoing, continual action. We need to be continually pursuing peace.
And then there is the verb itself: diwkw.(diōkō). In secular Greek and in New Testament Greek, this word is used both literally and metaphorically. It means “to eagerly pursue” someone or something, either for a hostile or good purpose. Thus, in a hostile context, it can be translated with the word “persecute.”
But it can also be used for someone running hard in order to win a race. For example, in Philippians 3:12, Paul uses this word for how he lives his life as a follower of Christ. (Ironically, this same word is used by the risen Jesus when he confronts Saul/Paul about Saul’s persecution of the church. See Acts 9:5 for further details.)
The use of this particular word in Hebrews 12:14 for the quest to be at peace with everyone may suggest that peace is an elusive goal. You aren’t going to encounter peace strolling down the path to meet you. You’re going to have to chase it. Strife is natural to us humans. Peace is not.
So, how do I go about pursuing peace? Well, I can tell you two things that won’t help much: reading a blog post about peace, or writing a blog post about peace. (Okay, maybe those would help a little.) But what does work?
Let me mention a few things that help me—when I actually do them.
First, I am more likely to pursue peace with everyone else when I am somewhat at peace with myself. If I am a walking civil war, that war will spill out across my borders. Civil wars do that. Accepting myself as I am, with my particular blend of strengths and weaknesses, is a wonderful way to be at peace with myself. It is also a wonderful way to pursue peace with everyone else.
Of course, accepting myself as I am and being at peace with myself does not mean that I don’t try to make some changes for the better in my own life. In fact, doing the right things, living well, deepens my genuine at-peace-ness with myself.
Second, I will need to think about what peace would look like in relation to other people and situations. For example, I can tolerate a certain amount of clutter. (In truth, I can put up with entirely too much clutter.) My wife, however, does not like a bunch of dishes piled up in the sink. I try to tell her that I’m soaking the dishes, but after three or four days of soaking the dishes, that explanation wears very thin.
The solution is very easy. Pursuing peace with my sweetheart is not difficult. Wash the dishes in a timely manner, dry them, and put them away.
Hey! Maybe pursuing peace isn’t so hard after all!
Well, of course, this is a very small example. However, we all have to begin somewhere. And that brings me to a third and final practical suggestion. I will put this in all caps, bold font, so that neither you nor I can miss it. BE WILLING TO BEGIN SMALL IN PURSUING PEACE! A consistent pursuit of peace in small things will help you to pursue peace in bigger things.
The Nobel Peace Prize is awarded to people or institutions that make a significant contribution to world peace. There may not be a prize associated with your and my quest to live at peace with everyone, but it does matter. Rest assured of that! It does matter!
What will you do to pursue peace today?
“TAKING YOUR HANDS OFF THE CONTROLS”
“Let go, and let God.” (Twelve-step slogan, based on one possible translation of Psalm 46:10.)
“In his book The Right Stuff, Tom Wolfe describes how, in the 1950s, a few highly trained pilots were attempting to fly at altitudes higher than had ever been achieved. The first pilots to face this challenge responded by frantically trying to stabilize their planes when they went out of control. They would apply correction after correction, yet, because they were way out of the earth’s atmosphere, the rules of thermodynamics no longer applied, so the planes just went crazy. The more furiously they manipulated the controls, the wilder the rides became. Screaming helplessly to ground control, “What do I do next?!” the pilots would plunge to their deaths.
This tragic drama occurred several times until one of the pilots, Chuck Yeager, inadvertently struck upon a solution. When his plane began to tumble, Yeager was thrown violently around in the cockpit and knocked out. Unconsciously, he plummeted toward Earth. Seven miles later, the plane re-entered the planet’s denser atmosphere, where standard navigation strategies could be implemented. He steadied the craft and landed. In doing so, he had discovered the only life-saving response that was possible in this desperate situation: don’t do anything. Take your hands off the controls.” (As told by Tara Brach, https://www.tarabrach.com/taking-your-hands-off-the-controls-4/, accessed 08-07-2018. The whole blog post is well worth your reading.)
My wife and I had a friend over for dinner last evening, and it was great fun. She spoke of breaking a fairly long bad habit. She had tried everything, and nothing worked. Finally, God “spoke” to her—not in an audible voice, but very clearly. She knew she had to quit. She also knew she couldn’t. So, she did a very simple, yet profound, thing. She said to God, “You’ll have to do this! I can’t.”
And she did it! Or, rather, God did it!
Sometimes, there is a long process in breaking unhealthy habits. Sometimes, there are relapses. Sometimes, it is two steps forward, and one step back. There are even times when it is one step forward, and two steps back.
But then, there are those times when you come to end of yourself. Often, this is the beginning of God’s fairly direct and dramatic entrance into your situation.
People who don’t really understand the twelve-step slogan “Let go, and let God” (which includes the writer of this post sometimes) find fault with the slogan. “Aren’t we supposed to do something?” we ask.
And the answer is, “Yes!” However, what we too often overlook is the fact that the first “something” we need to do is to let go. And letting go is one of the most difficult and often one of the most productive things anyone can do.
In a sense, my friend was practicing the first three steps:
Step 1: We admitted that we were powerless and that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2: Came to believe that power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
These first three steps are often summarized as I can’t, God can, and I think I’ll let him.
In many situations, we are simply not in control. It might be wise to ask a higher power for help. Even if you don’t believe in God, you might try it. I knew a man in our twelve-step fellowship who was an atheist, but he realized that when he prayed, good things tended to happen. One of his sponsees (also an atheist) challenged him about that. “It’s probably just coincidence,” said the younger man. The older man chuckled and said, “Probably. But I’ve noticed that when I pray, coincidences seem to happen a lot more often.”
“ON BEING EVALUATED AS A GUEST”
“And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak.” (Matthew 12:36, New Living Translation)
“And just as each person is destined to die once and after that comes judgment,” (Hebrews 9:27, New Living Translation)
My wife and I, for our forty-fifth wedding anniversary, took a nice trip to Hocking Hills State Park. We stayed in an Airbnb. We’ve stayed in bed and breakfast establishments before, but not an Airbnb. I did not realize that it isn’t just the b & b that is evaluated by the guests. The guests are also evaluated by the person who runs the b & b.
Our host gave us a glowing review, which I appreciated a lot. However, this whole set-up has set me to thinking about other evaluations.
For example, I believe in a final judgment by God. What will he say about me as His guest?
But it’s not just God. What about the other guests I interact with while I’m here? In a sense, they are also my hosts. After all, I depend upon them in many ways and for many things. How would they evaluate me as a guest?
My softball coach?
My teammates?
My church sisters and brothers?
My twelve-step fellow soldiers?
My Hebrew students?
My wife? (Oh, my! Now there’s an important review!)
But also, what about the people with whom I have more casual contact? The server who takes care of me when I go out to eat? My chiropractor? Other drivers on the highway?
Would all of these people—and many more—give me a good review. Would they rank me as kind and polite?
And then there is the planet itself. Do I strive to leave it in a clean and respectful manner? If the earth could talk, what would the earth have to say about my time here? Perhaps the earth can talk, and the real problem is that I don’t listen.
All teachers know that, no matter what subject is being taught, there is one question every student wants to ask: “Will this be on the test?”
Perhaps if I started every day knowing what the questions are (and I generally do know that), I would live more mindfully. Knowing that I will be reviewed might make me a better person.
“FORTY-FIVE YEARS OF LEARNING TO LOVE”
Today, my bride and I celebrate forty-five years of being married. I am more in love with her than ever, more than I ever thought I could be.
I am still a beginner at this love business, but beginners can teach a lot. So, here are some rather random thoughts about love and marriage from this beginner.
- Love is not something you fall into. It is a discipline to which you commit yourself, like running a marathon, but without a finish line.
- When I am not acting or feeling lovingly toward my sweetheart, I need to change me, not her.
- Heraclitus said, “You never step into the same river twice.” He was right about more than rivers. Relationships are the same. I never wake up with the same women twice. She has changed and so have I. There is never a reason to get bored.
- To restate Heraclitus, there is enough mystery and joy in every face to last a lifetime.
- Marriages are not made in heaven. Neither are they forged in the fires of hell. They may be suggestive of either heaven or hell (or both), but they are built on earth.
- Gratitude is the lifeblood of a loving relationship. If I am not being grateful every day for this woman who has loved me all these years, I am in trouble and headed for more.
- If I want my love to love only me, I am opting for less love, rather than more. She loves our children and grandchildren, making lovely things, baking, flowers, serving others, our dog. I should be glad, and most of the time I am! The more she loves people and things other than me, the more she has love for me.
- I also need to extend my love to others. To limit my love to my love is to limit my love for my love.
- Laughter is even better than making love. Perhaps laughter is making love.
- Sharing good memories together is wonderful. So is sharing good forgetories.
- The past needs to be buried quickly. It needs to be given a decent burial, yes. But it does need to be buried.
- The more I love my God, the more I love my wife. The converse is also true.
Happy anniversary, dearest. I hope that we have many more.
“LABELS? OR NAMES?”
My wife and I were talking about labels today.
No, we were not discussing labels on canned goods or jelly jars. We were discussing labels for people. My wife often provokes me to say something wise. She did that this morning.
“I think the labels we give people gives us the illusion of knowing them, while we really don’t know them at all,” I said. And then I added, “The only label that we should use for people is their name.”
But, of course, we don’t know people’s real names either, do we?
Take the labels “liberal” and “conservative,” for example. I describe myself as fairly conservative theologically, but fairly liberal politically. I have a guy on my softball team who describes himself as an “ultra-conservative.” But the question that I asked him is the same I ask everyone and myself as well: “What are you conserving?”
In fact, I need to ask myself two questions: “What am I conserving? About what am I being liberal?” Simply labeling myself is as pointless as labeling other people.
And what is my name?
Both the Old and New Testament talk a lot about names. They also talk a lot about having a change of names.
In a previous blog posted on this site, I wrote about my struggle with depression. That post is called “A Man Named Forgiven.” You can go back and read it, if you like.
But, in the context of labels and names, I need to remember that I don’t know the real name of anyone I encounter today. I don’t know the real name of the guys on my softball team. I don’t even know the real name of my wife of forty-five years.
And I dare not label anyone. Why? Because labeling is a shortcut for trying to really understand them. If I really know their name/s, I don’t need shortcuts, and if I don’t really know their names, a shortcut is another term for a dead end.
Perhaps I shouldn’t even label myself. Perhaps that is a dead end as well.
“THE DANGEROUS ASSUMPTIONS UNDERLYING CRITICISMS OF THE POOR”
The following thought-provoking quote comes from a website that I find very stimulating, https://wordsmith.org/words/today.html.
“A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed. -Herman Melville, novelist and poet (1 Aug 1819-1891)”
It is extremely easy to criticize the poor when we aren’t . . . aren’t poor, that is. Of course, if we compare ourselves to the “right” people, we are all poor, aren’t we? Whether such comparison is accurate or fair or right is another question.
I’ve been poor twice in my lifetime, once when I was a kid and once when I was in my early fifties.
I grew up on a farm. We had plenty to eat and clothes, but not a lot besides. But I didn’t really think of myself as poor. In fact, I remember one year begging my mom to buy gifts for our neighbor’s children, because they were so poor.
And then, in my early fifties, I found myself out of a job, and down to my last phone call before I became officially homeless. This close brush with homelessness was my own fault.
It is easy to criticize the poor, and to think “it’s their own durned fault”—unless, of course, you are the poor yourself.
Some people think that the Bible teaches that the poor have only themselves to blame for their poverty. The best answer to such thinking is “Not so fast!” Even in the book of Proverbs, which most certainly teaches personal responsibility for poverty (and almost everything else), this is not the only teaching.
Certainly, in some cases, poverty is a person’s own fault. In particular, laziness (Proverbs 10:4; 6:10-11), drunkenness and gluttony (23:21), and an extravagant life style (21:17) causes poverty in some cases.
However, there are other causes that the book of Proverbs recognizes. For example, Proverbs 13:23 states, “A poor person’s farm may produce much food, but injustice sweeps it all away.” (New Living Translation)
This kind of proverb brings attempts to blame the poor for their poverty to a screeching halt.
Of course, it seems to me that there is an even deeper problem with thinking we know that something is someone else’s fault. If we have not struggled with very similar situations, we have no idea why they are as they are. Even if we have struggled in similar ways, it is far too easy to forget just how much other people helped us with those struggles.
And even if it was our fault, it wasn’t those who reminded us that “it was our own fault” who really helped us, was it? No! It was those who asked, “How may I help?”
“No Worries! The God Who Is Both Leader and Companion!”
Most of us are afraid of the future, to a greater or lesser extent. Some of us are so prone to fear that we even fear the past. (We don’t usually think of fearing the past, but that is only because we call our fear of the past “regret.”) And, frankly, the present can also be pretty intimidating.
That doesn’t leave a lot of time to not be afraid, does it?
There is a sense in which every day is terra incognito. A saying (attributed to various people) goes something like this: “Most things are hard to predict—especially things in the future.” That lack of knowing what will in happen in any given day is pretty intimidating.
Humankind has struggled with such fears for a very long time. It may be more intense these days, but I doubt it. Times change, but our fear of the changing times does not.
Certainly, this was a struggle throughout the ancient Near East. The Bible has a lot of “fear nots,” which suggests that there was a lot of fear coursing through the veins of ancient Israel.
The book of Deuteronomy is attributed to Moses, and is his last will and testament. He is speaking to the nation of Israel which is just about to enter the Promised Land. Moses repeatedly tells the people that he will not be going in. The land and the future are terra incognito. However, Moses assures them that God will go ahead of them, and that they don’t need to be afraid.
“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8, New Living Translation)
I looked at the Hebrew for this verse. It is interesting that the personal pronoun “he” is used a couple of times, even though it is not, strictly speaking, necessary. Apparently, Moses wanted to be very emphatic in pointing out that God Himself would go ahead of the people.
But this verse tells Israel that God will not only go ahead of them. God will also go with them.
It’s a wonderful picture: the God who goes before us and who goes with us. God goes before in order to lead the way, but God also keeps us company, as we go.
I have to say, in all honesty, I have a difficult time believing that most of the time. However, when I do believe it, I can face the unknown territory of the past, the present, and the future a lot more calmly.
“There’s a Lion on the Loose!”
I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder at the young age of fifty-two. My wife’s response was, “This explains a lot!”
That may be true. A.D.D. is a real thing and a real explanation. However, as with anything else, A.D.D. can be used as an excuse. When anything—even something real—is used as an excuse, it becomes unreal and evil.
So, recognizing that I am more prone than the average bear to have difficulty paying attention does not give me a free pass. Quite the contrary! It means that I need to spend more emotional energy seeking to focus on what I need/deeply want to do.
The same thing may be said about me that was said by one wise commentator about the lazy person and the lion in Proverbs 22:13. “The sluggard says, ‘There is a lion outside; I will be killed in the streets!’” Christine Roy Yoder comments on this verse,
No excuse is too absurd for the lazy. One pictures the sluggard curled up inside (e.g., 19:15, 24; 26:14-15) and pointing outside, stammering about an imaginary lion wandering the streets (cf. 26:13). . . . [T]he verb räcaH (“to kill”) is typically used for a homicide that particularly offends the community, such as the killing of an innocent citizen . . . . The sluggard’s unprecedented use of the verb to describe an animal attack and, implicitly, to characterize himself as innocent lends further ridiculousness to the claim. (Christine Roy Yoder, Proverbs, Abingdon Old Testament Commentaries (Nashville: Abingdon, 2009), 226.)
Whether I am struggling with A.D.D. or laziness (and I do struggle with both), or with anything else, the underlying principle is the same: No excuses allowed! Perhaps the A.D.D. and laziness are not the most serious problem anyway. Perhaps it’s the excuses that are fatal. The excuses are the lion, and they will devour my dreams, my time, my very life.
But how can I recognized an excuse, you ask? One simple rule of thumb is this: If I am having to spend very much time explaining why something is right, either to myself or to someone else, it isn’t an explanation. It’s an excuse.
So, I think I’ll declare a new holiday: No Excuse Day. It is a floating holiday, and will be observed only on days that begin with the letter “T”: Tuesdays, Thursdays, Tomorrow, and Today.
“A FEW SMALL CHANGES”
My wife is a great cook. As part of her great-cook-ness, she has very sensitive taste buds. She can detect tastes that I can’t even imagine. This sometimes has amusing, unintended consequences.
We went out last night for a nice anniversary dinner in the Hocking Hills of Ohio. Our meals were excellent!
However, my sweetheart was not entirely pleased with her salad. It was a bit bitter. Even I could tell that.
So, my excellent wife/cook said, “I think it would be better if they had used candied walnuts. That would have made it sweeter.” Then she added, “Also, they could have used sweeter apples.” She thought for a few seconds more and continued, “They should have left the blue cheese crumbles off. . . . Oh! And they should have added croutons.”
“It sounds to me,” I ventured (rather timidly), “That you have just made a different salad.”
We laughed. The same qualities that make my wife a wonderful cook also make her a . . . What is the word I’m struggling for here? “Picky?” No, that’s not it. “Hard to please?” Nope! “Particular?” No, that’s not exactly it either. “Discerning!” That is the word! The same qualities that make my wife a wonderful cook also make her a discerning diner.
People who are really good at anything need to be discerning. Whether they are surgeons, concert cellists, farmers, or plumbers, the difference between those who are okay and those who are excellent often boils down to being discerning.
And then, there is life itself. We all need discernment there, don’t we? And yet, that is precisely where it is difficult to practice discernment.
There is a wonderful verse from the book of Hebrews that speaks of the importance of being discerning. The author of the letter is encouraging the believers to whom he is writing to grow up, and he gives them a helpful way of achieving spiritual maturity.
“Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong.” (Hebrews 5:14, New Living Translation) Matthew Henry makes some helpful comments on this verse.
“There are spiritual senses as well as those that are natural. There is a spiritual eye, a spiritual appetite, a spiritual taste; the soul has its sensations as well as the body; these are much depraved and lost by sin, but they are recovered by grace. (6.) It is by use and exercise that these senses are improved, made more quick and strong to taste the sweetness of what is good and true, and the bitterness of what is false and evil. Not only reason and faith, but spiritual sense, will teach men to distinguish between what is pleasing and what is provoking to God, between what is helpful and what is hurtful to our own souls.”
In the context of my wife’s ideas for improving the taste of her salad, I was especially struck by Matthew Henry’s words “It is by use and exercise that these senses are improved . . . .”
My wife was not a great cook when her mother gave birth to her. She did not come forth from the womb with a spatula in her hand—a fact for which, I’m sure, her mom was profoundly grateful. She practiced, and she learned.
It is the same with life. We practice and we learn. There are shortcuts in life, but there are no shortcuts to life.
There is an old joke that I’m sure you’ve heard, but that bears repeating here. A tourist was trying to find his way around New York City. He asked a man on the street how to get to Carnegie Hall.
“Practice! Practice! Practice!” the man on the street replied.
Same for cooking food and for cooking up a life well lived.