Monthly Archives: February 2018
“REDEFINING PRODUCTIVITY”
I had a really productive day when yesterday was today.
I arrived at today’s today determined to replicate yesterday. Alas! It cannot be so!
Why? Well, mainly because today is today.
“But of course!” you may say.
There is never any “of course” for me, I’m afraid. Maybe there isn’t any “of course” for anyone.
You see, today, I have a lot of things that I want/need to do, but I don’t feel as if they would come under the heading of “PRODUCTIVE.”
- Attend 12-step meeting.
- Meet with a good friend for breakfast.
- Go to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned.
- Take good care of our dog who recently had surgery. (My sweetheart is gone to take care of her mom, so I am the sole caregiver for our much-loved little ball of fur.)
- Call the chiropractor, since my back is hurting pretty badly.
- Take care of the compost.
- Set out the trash and recycling.
- Go for a bike ride on the Little Miami Trail.
Doesn’t seem terribly productive to me. It seems necessary in the case of most of the items I listed. In the case of breakfast with my friend (and the bike ride), it is certainly enjoyable. However, is any of this productive?
Perhaps my problem is that I need to broaden my definition of the word “productive.” If I define productivity too narrowly, I’ll be perpetually self-critical, and terminally frustrated.
Admittedly, not everything is productive. Sitting around eating sweets while my sweetie is gone, playing computer games, checking my e mail every thirty seconds—there are some things that really are not productive.
However, things that help me to be healthier are productive, whether or not I recognize that fact. For example, keeping and deepening healthy relationships with others (breakfast with my friend) is very productive.
My first 12-step sponsor realized that, in my reports, I was beating myself up when I was speaking of my “bottom-line addictive behavior.” So, he did a wonderful thing. He asked me what my top lines were.
At first, I didn’t even understand what he was talking about. So, he started asking me questions. “Did you get out of bed this morning?” he asked. “Yes,” I said. “Well,” said he, “That’s a top-line behavior.”
“Did you make your bed?” he asked. “Yes,” I replied. “Good!” he exclaimed. “That’s a top-line behavior.”
On he went. Did I eat breakfast? Did I brush my teeth? Did I call my sponsor? (Since I was talking on the phone with him right then, that was an easy one.)
What about you? How do you define productivity? Are you defining it in an accurate and compassionate manner?
“ON THE IMPORTANCE OF NAMES”
I have discovered a wonderful website called A.Word.A.Day with Anu Garg. In addition to my Scripture reading, prayers, and addiction recovery activities, it is a very important part of how I begin my day. (Anu Garg would probably be amazed to find that a Christian finds his writings to be extremely helpful, but at this Christian does! Hey! Truth is truth wherever you find it.)
As an introduction to today’s word (and, indeed as an introduction to this week’s words), Garg tells a wonderful story about a flight attendant he encountered. Her name was “Frankly.” No story behind the name; her father just wanted to name her that.
Names are important. If we have children, it is important what we name them. In the Bible—particularly in the Old Testament—the names given to children often foreshadow their characters. However, sometimes Old Testament characters are given really crappy names. For example, the name “Caleb” apparently means “dog.” The name “Jabez” seems to be related to the Hebrew word for pain.
Now, I got teased on the playground a lot anyway. I’m so grateful that my mom and dad didn’t name me “Dog” or “Pain.”
However, Caleb was a bold, risk-taker, and Pain wasn’t. I mean he wasn’t pain. Some people live up to or down to their names, while others live way beyond their names.
What we call ourselves and one another matters. I have a tendency to call myself very unflattering names. Sometimes, I extend the same courtesy to others. Such name-calling is not helpful. In fact, it is harmful.
A good friend of mine doesn’t like it when I call myself an addict. He would like me to say instead, “I have an addiction.” He may well have a point.
Perhaps I could experiment with calling myself and others some good names, some hopeful names. I am not fond of some politicians, but what if I stopped calling them nasty names? They may or may not change, but I would change, and change for the better. The names we give other people don’t just affect them. They also help to form us.
“PUTTING FIRST THINGS FIRST THIRD”
I crafted a 12-step affirmation that I thought was pretty well-worded. Whether it really is or not, only eternity will tell. And even if it was well-worded, the crucial matter is whether I actually live out my affirmation.
In any case, here is the affirmation:
“Today, by God’s grace and with God’s help, I am a kind and diligent person who puts loving God first, loving people second, and putting first things first, third.”
Putting first things first assumes that life is made up of things: objects and activities. But what if life is made up of people—a God who is a person and people who are . . . well, . . . people? Perhaps all “things”, all objects and activities, are related to God and other people, either for good or for ill. And, of course, I need to remember what Radar O’Reiley said: “Hey! Animals are people too, ya know!”
Jesus reduced all the commandments to two. Neither of them is primarily related to things. Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, but he answered with two commandments: Love God (Deut. 6:5; Matt. 22:37; Mk. 12:30; Lk. 10:27), and love your neighbor (Lev. 19:18; Matt. 22:39; Mk. 12:31; Lk. 10:27).
So, where does putting first things first come in? Perhaps it doesn’t! There are really only two “things” that ought to come first—loving God and loving others.
In a sense, putting first things first is a good time management technique, but it should not be mistaken for my priorities. My priorities are (or at least should be) God and people. Only when those are my priorities can I fruitfully seek to put first things first.
To say it another way, a good question to ask myself throughout the day is this: Am I putting loving God and loving people first? If I am doing that, I am indeed putting first (non)things first. And at that point, everyone and everything receives his/her/its proper due.
“SHAPING CIRCUMSTANCES VS. CIRCUMSTANCES SHAPING US”
28 “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren” (Romans 8:28-29, New American Standard Bible, 1995)
My sponsor’s daily calendar thought for the day was, “I used to think I could shape the circumstances around me, but now I know Jesus uses circumstances to shape me.” This is very much like what Paul is saying in Romans 8:29-29.
It is important to see what Paul is not saying, as well as what Paul is saying. Paul is not saying that everything is good, in and of itself. Paul is certainly not saying that everything feels good. Good thing! That would be a bunch of hooey.
What Paul is saying is that God uses all things for the good of those who love God. But notice that the “good” is defined in the next verse. And that “good” is to help us to become more like Jesus.
Now, a lot of people like Jesus, but they don’t necessarily want to become like Jesus. I don’t want that most of the time either. After all, Jesus was a poor man in a subjugated country, who had to borrow a coin from someone for a sermon illustration. He suffered greatly during his life, a life which was ended when one of his own closest followers betrayed him to the authorities at the ripe old age of thirty-three. Jesus was crucified on a roman cross, an execution that was reserved for criminals and runaway slaves. Who wants to become like that?!
And yet, . . . and yet, . . . I sometimes do want to become like Jesus. However, there is a process to go through. I do believe that there are miraculous physical healings, but I am not sure that there are miraculous spiritual transformations. There may be, but I have my doubts.
Instead, there is a continual process of transformation. And this process involves God using everything we go through, the good and the bad, the big and the little, to transform us. I fear that there is no moral and spiritual transformation without the process of moral and spiritual formation.
But, like a good farmer or cook, there is nothing God can’t or won’t use in the process of our formation/transformation. We may not like all or most or any of these things God uses to make us more like Jesus. We don’t have to like them, but we do need them.
We addicts are people who pretend that we are in control. We are not, but we like to pretend. The antidote to such unhelpful games of pretend (and the antidote tastes very bitter indeed) is to submit to reality. If you think that’s an easy thing to do, you clearly have never tried.
“OF BURNT TOWELS AND ENTHUSIASM WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE”
“Enthusiasm without knowledge is no good; haste makes mistakes.” (Proverbs 19:2, New Living Translation, italics mine)
“E-K=H+M (Enthusiasm minus Knowledge equals Haste plus Mistakes. (DTEB)
I was trying to do something nice for my sweetheart. I really was. However, as Proverbs 19:2 points out, it is important to think through things.
I have gotten into the habit of occasionally warming up my wife’s towel in our dryer at home, so that she has a nice warm towel when she gets out of the shower. It’s not difficult to do, and it seems to please her.
However, while microwaves will warm up towels, they may not be the best thing to use to do so. As with most of the things I learn, I found this out by trying it. I cannot recommend this method.
I had done this successfully for a day or two while we were on vacation, but on our last day of vacation the process seemed to take a little longer than usual. I took the towel out, and it wasn’t warm enough. So, I put the towel back in the microwave for a minute.
I started smelling something burning, but thought it was somebody smoking outside our room. It wasn’t. When I handed the towel to my sweetheart, parts of the towel looked and smelled like a marshmallow that had been left in the fire a bit too long.
The maids had brought some brand new towels to our room the day before. Apparently they had not been washed (the towels, not the maids!). My wife told me (after I had toasted the towel) that the brand new towels probably had some chemicals on them that made the towels more flammable. She may have been making that up just to make me feel better, but I don’t care. It did make me feel a little less stupid.
I confessed to the motel manager that I had ruined one of their good bath towels, and asked him to put it on our bill. He was gracious and didn’t charge us for it. I was not brave enough to tell him how I had ruined the towel. Now that a week has gone by, I decided to come clean. I am copying him into the e mail I send out to my readers.
It is very important to have your heart in the right place, and to be enthusiastic about serving others, especially those you love. However, it is also very important to do so in a mindful manner.
This seems to be precisely what Proverbs 19:2 (quoted above) is driving at. Christine Roy Yoder, commenting on this verse, puts it very nicely:
“Without knowledge, even well-intentioned desire can result in harm, just as ‘one who is hasty with feet misses’—presumable the path forged by God and the community . . . . The wise are informed and deliberate.”[1]
I don’t know much about math, but I have come up with a formula that I will try to memorize and use regularly:
“E-K=H+M
Enthusiasm minus Knowledge equals Haste plus Mistakes.
The next time I feel enthusiastic about doing something, I will try to remember this formula. I will try also to remember Proverbs 19:2, Yoder’s good words, and the burnt towel. I will strive to think before I microwave!
[1] Christine Roy Yoder, Proverbs, Abingdon Old Testament Commentaries (Nashville: Abingdon, 2009), 202. This is one of the very best commentaries I’ve seen on Proverbs. It is very faithful to the text, brief, well-written, and insightfully practical. If you want a really excellent guide to the book of Proverbs in the Bible, buy her book! (No, I do not get any royalties for recommending it.)
“THE BLIND MAN WHO SAW JESUS”
DTEB, “THE BLIND MAN WHO SAW JESUS”
I came back from Florida with a nice tan (in places) and a lot of nice memories. I also came back with pink eye. (“Conjunctivitis” is the official name, but “pink eye” is a much more colorful term for it.) By Tuesday morning when I got up, my eyes were welded shut, and I realized that I needed to go to the doctor. I am on eye drops now, and can see much better.
Blindness comes in many forms. One of the best things I do for my spiritual eyesight and sanity is that I go through a 3-minute retreat most days. I get free e mails from Loyola Press with these retreats. Each of these retreats has a brief centering exercise, a short passage from the Bible, a few comments, two questions, and a very brief prayer. You really can go through these retreats in three minutes!
Today’s meditation was based on John 9:35-38. Here is the author’s observations about this brief passage:
“The conclusion to the story of the man born blind gives much food for thought. The man who is physically blind at the beginning of the story not only gains his sight but also gains insight with regard to the identity of Jesus. He calls Jesus a prophet, a man from God, and finally Lord. Even in the face of being rejected by his community, the man born blind took a stand when he said, “I do believe, Lord.” When the story ends, he is the one able to see the true identity of Jesus. One unsolicited encounter with Jesus was all it took for him to believe. His affirmation of faith moved him to worship.” (https://www.loyolapress.com/retreats/do-you-believe-start-retreat, accessed 02-21-2018.)
Yes! Sometimes those who are blind end up seeing things that the sighted don’t see.
But then, we’re all pretty blind, aren’t we? There is so much that I can’t see, but there is still more that I choose not to see. The truth is that I often don’t want to see. If I saw, I might have to change; I might have to do something about what I saw. Who wants to do that?!
In fact, even before his physical sight was restored and his spiritual sight grew, the blind man had to do something. We are told this fact earlier in the story, which spans all of John, chapter 9. In verses 6 and 7, we are told that Jesus spit on ground, made mud with the saliva, put it over the man’s eyes, and sent the man to wash in the pool Siloam. (Ironically, the pool to which the man was sent had a name that was probably built up off the Hebrew word that means “to send.”)
One thing that I had never noticed, as many times as I’ve read this chapter, is that Jesus doesn’t even promise the blind man that he will be able to see after he washes. Jesus just says, Go do it!
And I have to wonder what the blind man was thinking. Was the blind man thinking to himself, “Well, this is about the cruelest practical joke anyone has ever played on me! First, this guy that I don’t know from Adam spits on the ground, makes some mud, and smears it over my eyes. Then, he tells me to stumble around and go wash in the pool of Siloam. What good would that do?”
We aren’t told if the blind man had any misgivings. What we are told is that the blind man did what Jesus had said. He went, he washed, —and he saw.
Perhaps the blind man had been listening intently as Jesus responded to his disciples’ rather theoretical question about who had sinned: this man or his parents, that he should be born blind. (Jesus-followers can ask the stupidest questions.)
Jesus’ response to the disciples pointed out that neither of their either-or choices was correct, at least in this case. Rather, Jesus spoke of the fact that, in this case, God’s works would be displayed in the blind man. Jesus also referred to himself as the light of the world.
If the blind man heard this exchange, perhaps something in what Jesus said—or the tone in which Jesus said it—awakened some desperate hope in the blind man. Be that as it may, the bottom line is this: The blind man did what Jesus had said, and was no longer blind. He could see!
Are your eyes welded shut? Listen to Jesus/God and do what he says. Might help!
“SCHOOL SHOOTINGS: A SPIRITUAL AND A POLITICAL ISSUE”
Recently, in a Christian worship context, I heard someone say that the recent mass shooting in a Florida school was “. . . a spiritual issue, not a political one.”
For some reason, that did not ring entirely true to me when I heard it. I think I may have figured out why I feel that way.
First, let me come clean about my own relationship with guns.
I grew up on a farm in Adams County. Long before I could drive a car, I had learned to shoot a gun. Primarily, I shot for pleasure. A lot of tin and aluminum cans died at my hands.
I also hunted, primarily rabbits. I was taught that “you eat what you kill.” Even now, I probably could skin and gut a rabbit without much effort or conscious thought.
Then I met this beautiful girl to whom I am now married. When I would get ready to go hunting, she would sing this pitiful little song about a rabbit being hunted. Soon, I went back to just plinking at tin cans. About the only critter I shot was the occasional clay pigeon. (For those of you who may not know what a clay pigeon is, let me put your minds at ease: It is not a real pigeon.)
However, my attitude about guns has changed over the years. I never owned an automatic or semi-automatic rifle, and have come to believe that no one outside of the military needs to have such weapons. I’ve never heard of any real hunter using such a weapon. If I did hear of such a person, I would say, “No, you’re not a real hunter.”
My transformation from an enthusiastic shooter to an advocate for stricter gun control was solidified by my grandson’s suicide. Yes, he used a gun to take his own life. Yes, he might have taken his own life anyway. On the other hand, if he had been forced to do it in some other way, it might have slowed him down enough to come to some more rational way of thinking about ending his life. Maybe. Of course, there is no way of knowing. One thing I know for sure: He took his own life with a gun.
So, back to the comment about the gun violence in Florida being a spiritual rather than a political issue.
In a deep sense, this statement was absolutely on target. The truth is that people were taking their own or one another’s lives long before the invention of gunpowder or automatic weapons. We are not told precisely how Cain killed his brother Abel. Was it a stick, a rock, his bare hands? We are not told. What we do know is that Cain killed his brother.
The issue is the wickedness, the alienation, envy, hatred, and resentment in the human heart. No law can hope to deal with this.
However, allowing people to procure and use automatic or semi-automatic weapons is a political issue, and it is one that we could do something about, if we chose to do so. As with my grandson, we could at least make it more difficult for people to kill themselves or others.
The truth, at least as I see it is this: We cannot compartmentalize human problems into “spiritual” and “political.” The contents of those compartments tend to eat through every wall we try to construct in order to keep them sealed off from one another. Spiritual issues have political implications, and political issues have spiritual implications.
It is ironic that often (though of course, not always) those who view gun violence through a “spiritual” lens, do not do so when it comes to abortion. In other words, they are eager to elect (a political act, if ever there was one) pro-life representatives or presidents. But is abortion not a spiritual issue too? Surely it is both spiritual and political. So is gun violence, I think.
I am not an expert on either guns or politics or spirituality, but it seems to me that we all need to become more informed and less inclined to simply shout slogans at one another. Neither pro- nor anti-gun slogans will bring back my grandson or the young people who lost their lives in Florida. Neither will compartmentalizing the issue.
“DISAPPOINTMENTS”
The following is based on my journal entry from this morning.
Monday, February 19, 2018
Good morning, LORD!
I need to learn how to handle disappointment better.
Disappointments are largely the result of expectations. I expect too much of myself, others, circumstances, even of God. I have a friend in my twelve-step group who never tires of reminding us that “an expectation is just a premeditated resentment.” And I always need to remember that if I hang on to a disappointment, it will most definitely hang on to me. In a very little while, disappointment will sour into resentment, sure as I’m sitting here.
Actually, I occasionally suspect that disappointments may serve a useful purpose: They can help build character. Disappointments help me to ask crucial questions. Is this really something I want and need to do? How much do I want this? Am I going about this with the right motivation, attitude and means?
I have heard a saying that sounds like a cliché: “There are no unanswered prayers, God answers all prayers. ‘No’ and ‘Wait’ are just as much answers as ‘Yes.’” It may indeed be a cliché. However, years ago I had a professor who pointed out that, “a cliché is another name for a common truth that we commonly ignore.” If I had learned nothing else from that professor, that would have been enough!
Perhaps disappointment is God’s way of saying “No,” or “Wait a while.” Perhaps God has something different that God wants me to do. Not necessarily better, but better for me. God’s “no” is often a “yes” that I am not facing up to.
Sometimes, writing things down can be therapeutic. Attempting to speak the truth helps me to sort out what really is true, as opposed to trying to fit the truth into my own little twisted assumptions. Who knows? Reading (and reading this blog post in particular) may also be a way of you dealing with your own resentments.
(For another good blog on this matter of disappointments, have a look at a website I just discovered: https://feelslikehomeblog.com/2013/04/13-bible-verses-to-overcome-disappointment/.)
“HAS-BEENS, OR ALWAYS-WILL-BE’S”
“Sometimes I think we’re just has-beens,” said my wife to me.
I couldn’t argue with her. I felt pretty much the same. I have always felt like a has-been, even when I was quite young. However, I could console myself with the thought that I might someday be “a somebody.” (Isn’t it surprising that we have has-beens, but not “ises”? In other words, should someone who is at the top of their game be known as an “Is”? Just a thought!)
Well, I am old now—and getting older by the day—so it is difficult for me to think that someday I’ll amount to something. Is there any significance to old poops like me?
Well, I hope there is. However, certain preliminary questions probably should be asked.
- Has been what?
- Who gets to decide that someone is a has-been?
- Do the opinions of other people really matter at this point?
- Does my own feeling of has-been-ness have anything to do with reality?
- Where does God come into this matter of has-been-ness?
- Is there still a place for has-beens who still might make some significant contribution in some manner? (We’ll call such people “might-still-be’s”.)
Now, I did not say that I actually had answers to any of these preliminary questions. I just said that such questions should be asked.
However, I will tell you how I replied to my wife’s comment, “Sometimes I think we’re just has-beens.”
“I believe,” I said, “that we are made by God for eternity. Therefore, nobody is a has-been. Everyone is an always-will-be.”
I don’t always feel that way, but that is what I deeply believe. God is the granter and the guarantor of our significance. Everyone lives to him. There are no has-beens in God’s loving heart.
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
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- “Endurance” March 10, 2024“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.” (Hebrews 10:36, English Standard Version) “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us […]
- “The Limits of Non-Judgmentalism” February 24, 2024“Matt. 7:1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. Matt. 7:2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2, English Standard Version) This morning, in my virtual 12-step meeting, we discussed the topic of judgmentalism. There were many wise […]
- “Delighting in Being Told What to Do?!?” February 23, 2024“Psa. 112:1 Praise the LORD! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commandments! 2 His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. 3 Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures […]
- “Character is the Real Lesson” January 19, 2024I am often confused about what lesson I’m really supposed to be learning. For example, this morning I was trying to knock out several Spanish lessons. My intentions were a lot better than my internet connection. I’ve done three lessons. Or rather, I’ve done two lessons. One of them I did twice because the internet […]
- “The Year of Becoming Un-Planked” January 1, 2024Each year, I try to come up with one word or a short phrase for what I intend to work on in the upcoming year. 2024 is “The Year of Becoming Un-Planked”. What?!! What does that even mean? So glad that you asked! Jesus said to his disciples, “Why do you look at the speck […]
- “Searching for the Noble One” December 26, 2023My wife and I were reading Luke, chapter 2 on Christmas Day. Luke 2 talks about the shepherds being told to look for this very special child—in fact, this King—in a stable. I prefer the word “barn”. I grew up on a farm. I know what a barn is. A stable is entirely too biblical […]
- “That Don’t Impress God Much” December 14, 2023DTEB, “That Don’t Impress God Much” “That Don’t Impress Me Much” (Song by Robert John Lange and Shania Twain) Micah 6:8 (MSG) “But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be […]
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