Monthly Archives: August 2017

“CONDITIONAL LOVE FOR GOD?”

“In what ways is my love of the Father God conditional?”  (From the “3-Minute Retreat” for August 30, 2017.)

We all want to be loved unconditionally.  This is a human desire, even a human need.

My wife does an overwhelmingly good job of this most of the time.  Even she struggles with it at times.  (This says more about me than it says about her.  I am not the easiest person in the world to love.  I know this: I’ve trying to do it for decades!)

Rumor has it that only God can and does love us unconditionally.  (See Romans 5:6-11 for further details.)

But the “3-Minute Retreat” for today introduced a different question: Do I love God unconditionally?

A good question is a burning bush ablaze with the Glory of God.  This question is such a bush.

“God, I will love you, IF you meet all my needs.

“God, I will love you, IF you give me everything I want.”

“God, I will love you, IF you will heal me.”

“God, I will love you, IF you will get me out of this mess.”

And so on it goes.  I want God and other people to love me unconditionally, but I don’t want to extend the same courtesy to God and other people.  And, of course, if I start putting conditions on loving people or God, I am not loving people or God as they are.  I’m only loving my own idea of what people and God should be like.  In other words, I’m loving (if you can even call it loving) an illusion.

So, how do I love God unconditionally?  I don’t know, but I need to figure this out.  It seems to me to be a pretty important question.

I don’t have any insights, but I do have some suspicions.

Suspicion # 1:  I can begin by realizing how conditional my love for God and other people really it.  An awareness of reality is no place to end, but it is a wonderful place to begin.

Suspicion # 2:  If I marinate in the unconditional love of God regularly, I might pick up some of that unconditional flavor.  “We love God, because he first loved us,” says John (1 John 4:19).

Suspicion # 3:  If I practice attempting to give to others and to receive from others unconditional love, I will be in a better position to both receive unconditional love from God, and love God unconditionally in return.  Right after 1 John 4:19, John talks about the need for us to love our brothers and sisters.  It would appear that being loved by God, loving God, and loving other people are all of one piece.

Suspicion # 4:  Unconditional love can be learned.  Unconditional love is a muscle that can be conditioned.  Unconditional love may originate in Heaven, but it won’t drop on me out of the skies.

“THE HUMAN WHISPERER”

“If you want to capture someone’s attention, whisper.”  (A 1980’s commercial for Nuance Perfume.)

“‘Go out and stand before me on the mountain,’ the LORD told him. And as Elijah stood there, the LORD passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.

  And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.”  (1 Kings 19:11-12, New Living Translation.)

Elijah, a prophet of God, had just had some major victories in terms of his call to the people of Israel to return to the LORD their God.  However, when Queen Jezebel threatened his life, he ran for his life and wished he was dead.  Ever been there?  Probably most of us have been at one time or another.  Some of us have our mailing address in that place.

Elijah ended up at Mt. Horeb, which was probably another name for Mt. Sinai.  God gave the depressed prophet a tremendous display of God’s power.  However, God was not in those things, as the Scripture itself points out.

Then, God did about the least seemingly God-like thing that could be imagined: God whispered.

Today, my 3-minute retreat dealt with this very matter.  (You can access the full retreat at www.loyolapress.com/retreats/listening-to-whispers-start-retreat, accessed 08-09-2017.)  Near the end of the retreat, the author asked several penetrating questions.

“Am I comfortable with silence?  What sounds in my life might prevent me from hearing God’s whisper?  What noise in my mind might also interfere?”

Obviously, we live in a noisy world.  But in my own case, it is frequently the noise in my own mind that is most distracting.  I sometimes feel that I am a living, breathing, walking civil war.

Years ago when I was a pastor, I was called by a lady who was a neighbor.  She lived about two blocks from our house, and occasionally attended our church.  The lady was crying and screaming.  Her fifteen-year-old daughter was holding a knife and threatening to kill her mom.  I said, “I’ll be right down!”  I told my wife to pray, and hustled out the door.

Sure enough, when I got to the house, there was Nancy (not her real name) brandishing the longest, most wicked looking butcher knife I’ve ever seen at her mom.  Nothing in my pastoral training had prepared me for this.  (Every seminary should have a required class that deals with these kinds of situations.  Possible titles: “Hostage Negotiation 101,” or “Seminar on the Use and Abuse of Kitchen Utensils.”)

Both of the ladies were crying and yelling and using theological terms in a very non-theological manner.  I wondered why I had decided to handle this, instead of being smart and calling the police.  I quietly wondered if I would make it back to see my wife and three small children.  It’s amazing how many things can quickly pass through your mind in such situations.

I quietly asked, “Could we all just sit down?”  The ladies were not ready to sit down just yet, so I decided to demonstrate how to do so.  Nancy and her mom finally sat down.  Nancy was still gripping the knife firmly, and they were still crying, yelling, and cussing.  But, at least, they were sitting down now.

I whispered something to the Mom.  It was too quiet for either Nancy or her Mom to hear, so they had to ask me to repeat it.  I spoke even more softly.  They became silent, and asked me again what I had said.

I whispered even more quietly, “Why don’t we all just whisper?”  To say that they were surprised by my suggestion would be a gross understatement.  I was surprised too.  I’m not normally that wise.

They didn’t immediately begin to whisper, but they did yell a little more quietly.  Every time they yelled, I would whisper that we were trying an experiment with whispering.  They began to cry and yell less, and to speak more gently.  Eventually, they even began to listen to one another.

Finally, Nancy put down the knife on the coffee table.  She and her mom embraced and cried.  This time, the tears were tears of gentleness and contrition, rather than tears of homicidal rage.

I shook all the way home.

I imagine that you’ve hear of the “horse whisperer,” or the “dog whisperer.”  Our God is the human whisperer.  He often speaks to us very quietly.  Perhaps we all need to sit down, speak softly ourselves, put down our knives, and listen.  Perhaps we could then hear the Human Whisperer speak.  And what he would say might be forgiving, encouraging, and unbelievably loving.

 

“The Belly of the Whale Tuesday,” August 1, 2017

I was (I hope) able to be helpful to a dear friend of mine recently.  Just now, I read this at Richard Rohr’s website (https://cac.org/category/daily-meditations/, accessed 08-02-2017) and found it very helpful.  My friend is living out these truths right now.  He is a man of maturity, wisdom, and courage.  I dedicate these rise words from Rohr to him, and too all who seek to become the persons they already are in God’s loving heart.

The Belly of the Whale
Tuesday, August 1, 2017

And so long as you do not know that to die is to become, you are just a wretched visitor on this dark earth. —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [1]

Jesus’ primary metaphor for the mystery of transformation is the sign of Jonah (Matthew 12:39, 16:4; Luke 11:29). As a Jew, Jesus knew the vivid story of Jonah, the prophet who ran away from God and yet was used by God in spite of himself. Jonah was swallowed by a “big fish” and taken where he would rather not go—a metaphor for any kind of death. Then and only then will we be spit up on a new shore in spite of ourselves. Isn’t this the story of most of our lives?

Paul wrote of “reproducing the pattern” of Jesus’ death and thus understanding resurrection (Philippians 3:10-11). That teaching will never fail. The soul is always freed and formed through dying and rising. Indigenous religions speak of winter and summer; mystics speak of darkness and light; Eastern religions speak of yin and yang or the Tao. Some Christians call it the paschal mystery, and Catholics proclaim this publically at every Eucharist as “the mystery of faith.” We are all pointing to the same necessity of both descent and ascent, which is the core theme of my book Falling Upward.

“To die and thus to become” is the pattern of transformation in the entire physical and biological world. Why not the human? There seems to be no other cauldron of growth and transformation.

We seldom go willingly into the belly of the beast. Unless we face a major disaster like the death of a friend or spouse or the loss of a marriage or job, we usually will not go there on our own accord. We have to be taught the way of descent. Mature spirituality will always teach us to enter willingly, trustingly into the dark periods of life, which is why we speak so much of “faith” or trust. Transformative power is discovered in the dark—in questions and doubts, seldom in the answers. Yet this goes against our cultural instincts. We usually try to fix or change events in order to avoid changing ourselves. Wise people tell us we must learn to stay with the pain of life, without answers, without conclusions, and some days without meaning. That is the dark path of contemplative prayer. Grace leads us to a state of emptiness, to that momentary sense of meaninglessness in which we ask, “What is it all for?” It seems some form of absence always needs to precede any deepening notion of presence. Desire makes way for depth.

Gateway to Silence:
The way down is the way up.

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