Posts Tagged: “You never step into the same river twice”

“Moving You’re Motivation Muscle”

On April 28, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

This morning, my virtual 12-step group had as one of its topics, “How to stay motivated in recovery, especially when you’re not.” It is a wonderful topic about a struggle that I have almost all the time.

Of course, it is not just in the arena of addiction-recovery that I struggle with motivation. This is a battle in every area of my life. Let me list a few areas where I am frequently about as motivated as dirty dishwater:

  • Exercise.
  • Eating wisely.
  • Praying.
  • Really good reading.
  • Taking the dog for a walk.
  • Being nice to my wife.
  • Writing posts for this website.
  • Biblical scholarship.
  • Learning Spanish.
  • Sitting straight.
  • Making gratitude lists.
  • Cutting back on my flow of words.

Now, I hate to say it, but this is only a partial list. This is not an isolated thunderstorm in my life. It is a massive hurricane.

However, I have discovered some things that work when I choose to do them. Here is a much shorter list of good practices:

  • I remind myself that motivation isn’t the same thing as feeling motivated.
  • I act on the 12-step slogan “Move a muscle; change a thought.” If I move, doing something that I don’t want to do, the “want-to” often comes along for the ride. My thinking changes when I’m doing what I need to be doing, rather than the other way around. I refuse to be held hostage by my own lack of motivation.
  • I remind myself that every task, ever relationship is always fresh and new. Years ago, I read a quote from an ancient Greek philosopher, Heraclitus: “You never step into the same river twice.” He went on the explain that the water has flowed on, and therefore, it is not the same river. Most of us are motivated when things and relationships are new and fresh. What if we realized that things and relationships are always new and fresh?
  • Doing life/recovery/running/eating wisely (along with anything else) with others is a wonderful way to stay motivated. That’s one of the many reasons why 12-step groups are so powerful. I may not be motivated, but chances are excellent that someone else in the group is motivated. Motivation is contagious.
  • I try to remember (with varying degrees of success) that every little good thing I do brings a smile to God. Apparently, according to Malachi 3:16, even mentioning the LORD or speaking the LORD’s name to others gets recorded in his books, and makes us precious in the sight of God. “Then those who feared the LORD spoke with one another.”  Jesus said that even a cup of cold water given in his name is rewarded (Matthew 10:42).

I’m sure that there are more things that help with motivation, and I hope to hear from some of you about what works for you. However, I need to warn you: The good practices I’ve listed above only work when I actually do them. And I don’t always do them. Far too often, I marinate in my own lack of motivation.

 I am reminded of the old joke about the tourist who was visiting New York city for the first time. He stopped a stranger, and asked, “How do you get to get Carnegie Hall?”

The New Yorker replied, “Practice! Practice! Practice!”

Motivation is a muscle. You have to regularly exercise it if you want it to grow. Neglect it, and it will atrophy more quickly than you can say, “Nah, I don’t feel like doing that.”

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“FORTY-FIVE YEARS OF LEARNING TO LOVE”

On August 4, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Today, my bride and I celebrate forty-five years of being married.  I am more in love with her than ever, more than I ever thought I could be.

I am still a beginner at this love business, but beginners can teach a lot.  So, here are some rather random thoughts about love and marriage from this beginner.

  • Love is not something you fall into.  It is a discipline to which you commit yourself, like running a marathon, but without a finish line.
  • When I am not acting or feeling lovingly toward my sweetheart, I need to change me, not her.
  • Heraclitus said, “You never step into the same river twice.”  He was right about more than rivers.  Relationships are the same.  I never wake up with the same women twice.  She has changed and so have I.  There is never a reason to get bored.
  • To restate Heraclitus, there is enough mystery and joy in every face to last a lifetime.
  • Marriages are not made in heaven.  Neither are they forged in the fires of hell.  They may be suggestive of either heaven or hell (or both), but they are built on earth.
  • Gratitude is the lifeblood of a loving relationship.  If I am not being grateful every day for this woman who has loved me all these years, I am in trouble and headed for more.
  • If I want my love to love only me, I am opting for less love, rather than more.  She loves our children and grandchildren, making lovely things, baking, flowers, serving others, our dog.  I should be glad, and most of the time I am!  The more she loves people and things other than me, the more she has love for me.
  • I also need to extend my love to others.  To limit my love to my love is to limit my love for my love.
  • Laughter is even better than making love.  Perhaps laughter is making love.
  • Sharing good memories together is wonderful.  So is sharing good forgetories.
  • The past needs to be buried quickly.  It needs to be given a decent burial, yes.  But it does need to be buried.
  • The more I love my God, the more I love my wife.  The converse is also true.

Happy anniversary, dearest.  I hope that we have many more.

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