“Fearfully and Wonderfully Made”
“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.” (Psalm 139:14, English Standard Version)
I have so many good relationships, good work that I get to do, and good things. And yet, I continually struggle with regret and resentment. I really need an attitude adjustment.
I just reached out, took my coffee cup by the handle, and had a sip. Then, I put the cup back on the mug rug. . . . There! I did it again!
These are amazing and complex actions. They involve all kinds of muscles, the names of which I don’t even know. These actions took forethought. In addition, there is hand and eye coordination.
To be able to do these things without anyone helping me is an amazing grace. I have been doing these wondrous things for decades. Why am just now noticing their wonder?
When I am inclined to be a willing prisoner to my own feelings of incompetence, when I am gripped by regrets and resentments, I need to meditate on some small, but wonderful thing. I may soon realize that this “small” thing isn’t small at all, just wonderful.
“LITTLE STUPIDITIES AND GOD’S WELCOMING GRACE”
Have you ever made a stupid mistake (are there smart mistakes?) that was small and insignificant, and yet that mistake made you wonder about yourself? A stupid, small, insignificant mistake that made you wonder if you were stupid and small and insignificant?
Welcome to my world.
We were having some plumbing work done in our utility room, so I decided to clean the utility room up, so that the plumbers would have room to work. That was a good decision.
I picked up a bottle of bleach from the floor, and placed it on the shelf above the dryer. That was not such a good decision.
I felt a little check in my mind when I placed the bleach on this already over-crowded shelf. As I generally do with these little warnings, I ignored it. And, as it generally works out, I ended up regretting ignoring that little warning.
Isn’t it interesting that the word “ignorance” is related to the verb form “to ignore? Perhaps ignorance is more a matter of refusing to know, rather than simply not knowing. Hummmm.
A few hours after the plumbing work was finished, I heard a loud thump, and went downstairs to check it out. Yes, my wife had heard it too. We didn’t find out the source of the thump until I went into the utility room later that evening. (You already know where this is going, don’t you?)
The bottle of bleach was lying on its side on the dryer with the lid off. A large quantity of the bleach had spilled on the top of the dryer and on the floor. Some of the bleach had splashed onto some of the clothes in the clothes basket. Two of my shirts were ruined.
I spent some time cleaning up the mess as best I could. I decided to multitask and also have a talk with myself while I was cleaning things up. I will not tell you some of the things I called myself. I think I’ve come up with some new phrases for various levels of incompetency.
I spent hours the next day cleaning the utility room up more thoroughly. Of course, the smell of bleach lingers for a long time.
But no amount of castigating myself would get the bleach back into the bottle. No amount of name-calling could atone for ignoring that oh-so-little mental reservation when I put the bleach on the shelf in the first place.
I would like to tell you that this is the most serious instance of me ignoring a small reservation about a decision I was about to make. It most certainly isn’t the worst one. It isn’t even close to the worst one. It is just one of the most recent ones.
But there is still grace for willfully ignorant people like me—grace for the big stupidities and for the little ones. There is grace for the mistakes that are obvious to everyone, as well as for those that are known only to us. There is grace enough to welcome us all. God is indeed that sort of God.
However, I’m not putting the bleach back on the shelf any more. Perhaps these little checks in my mind are also God’s welcoming grace.
“NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS AT THE CRACK OF DAWN”?
“Nothing good ever happens at the crack of dawn.” (The worship leader at our church.)
“Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark [even before the crack of dawn, DTEB], Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance.” (John 20:1, NIV. Words enclosed in square brackets are my addition.)
Our worship leader at church, in response to a comment made by someone else, said, “Nothing good ever happens at the crack of dawn.” It is fairly obvious that Jay is not a morning person.
My wife (who is not a morning person either) leaned over to me and whispered, “I don’t know about that. What about the resurrection of Jesus?”
I am not sure that the worship leader had thought through the theological implications of his generalization. Apparently, there are some good things that happen at the crack of dawn, or even before.
How about you? Are you cold and in the dark? Do you feel like it isn’t even the crack of dawn yet, and that nothing good could possibly come to you? That the dawn may come for others, but not for you?
I have often felt that way in the past myself. Not so much anymore.
My youngest son, who hasn’t had much to do with either his mom or me in the past six years, called last night, and is planning to come down to see us today. Will he follow through on that? I don’t know. He has a good, kind heart. I am completely responsible for the alienation that he and his brother and sisters feel toward me. I suspect that our youngest is very conflicted.
But the dawn came today anyway. And though the sky is overcast, and the future uncertain, I have hope and peace and joy and gratitude in my heart. Why? Not because my son is coming to see us. He may or may not. I have hope and peace and joy and gratitude—and they have me—because of Jesus and his resurrection. Because my sins, which were many are all washed away (as the old hymn says). Because my hope and peace and joy and gratitude are in the God who is with me right here, right now.
And because of this God, because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, I can face anything and any time—even the darkness before the dawn.
“IN TOUCH WITH MY OWN IGNORANCE”
Sometimes, small interactions expose big problems. For example . . .
My wife and I were talking yesterday about the horrible shooting in the “Jewish synagogue” in Pittsburgh. When Sharon used the expression “Jewish synagogue,” I cocked my head in the shape of a question mark. She caught the body language and asked a simple question. “Oh, I guess there’s no other kind of synagogue, is there?”
“I don’t think so,” I replied. “It’s a bit like speaking of a ‘Jewish rabbi.’”
But then, she asked me a question that brought my train of thought to a screeching halt. “Do any other religions call their place of worship a ‘synagogue’?”
And then, my ignorance tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned around my ignorance sucker-punched me. “I don’t think so, but now that I think about it, I’m not sure.”
So, I went to the modern equivalent of the ancient Delphic oracle. I googled it.
And wouldn’t you know it, there is another group that calls their place of worship a synagogue! The Samaritans, who live within the modern state of Israel, worship in a synagogue.
Sometimes I can’t help feeling awestruck by my own ignorance. This was one of those occasions. And here is why I felt such a sense of awe at my own ignorance: The Bible and everything related to it is my baby. And the Samaritans, in addition to still being in existence (a small community, but still present), are mentioned in the Bible. And I didn’t even know what their place of worship was called.
I don’t much mind being ignorant about cars, and electrical stuff, and plumbing, and what color of shirt goes with what color of pants. But to be ignorant of something related to the Bible? Now that is disturbing!
And yet, in my old age, I am becoming much more content with my ignorance. After all, there is a lot to not know.
It is very important to be in touch with my own ignorance, but there is a stage beyond even that. It is the stage of accepting my own ignorance. Acceptance doesn’t mean that I can’t learn more, or that I don’t need to learn more. Quite the contrary! Acceptance is a prelude to acquiring more knowledge. I can only move beyond ignorance after I’ve accepted it.
And now, back to the tragic events that led to this little reflection on the precise meaning of the word “synagogue,” I must ask myself—and you, dear reader—a profoundly simple question: What caused this man to think that he knew enough to mow down a bunch of people at a Jewish synagogue? The reason I ask this is because I have a suspicion that it is not ignorant people who do this sort of thing. No, it is the ones who are sure that they know. Be very cautious about knowing too much. You don’t. Neither do I. Neither does anyone else.
And never follow anyone who knows too much. The difference between a demagogue and a leader is this: The demagogue knows everything, whereas a leader knows slightly more than the one’s he/she is leading. Good leaders know that there is a lot they don’t know, and they don’t pretend that they do.
“THE POWER OF MY WORDS”
“From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied;
he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruits.”
(Proverbs 18:20-21, English Standard Version)
According to Proverbs 18:21, words matter—a lot! In fact, words are a matter of life and death.
Of course, in this verse death comes first. That may be significant. The usual word order when the Hebrew words for “life and death” is with “life” first. The fact that, in Proverbs 18:21, death comes first may suggest that the Proverb writer is emphasizing the power of the tongue to destroy.
The Hebrew is very striking for the phrase “the power of the tongue.” Literally, the first part of 18:21 would be translated, “Death in life are in the hand of the tongue”!
Now, lest we accuse the biblical writer of not knowing human anatomy, let me point out the obvious. If you are anything like me, it may be precisely the obvious that you overlook.
We all use parts of the body to describe functions that are not, strictly speaking, bodily functions. “Don’t try to strong-arm me into this!” we say, when we think somebody if being manipulative and pushy. “I love her with all of my heart,” we say, even though we realize that the primary function of the heart is to pump blood. “Oh, he always has his nose in the air,” we say, concerning someone who thinks he’s better than anyone else.
We have all experienced the power of words for harm us. I wonder, sometimes, if we are always aware of the power of our own word to harm others.
We certainly need to cool a lot of the political rhetoric right now. To pretend that the harsh, accusatory tone that is being used on all sides is simply “free speech” won’t cut it. The president’s words have power, whether he knows it or not. The president’s critics’ words also have power.
But perhaps we could begin with our own selves. There is little point trying to get the president or his critics to tone down their rhetoric, if we are not willing to do so ourselves.
Perhaps we could begin with how we speak to the harried checkout clerk when we are waiting to pay for our coffee. Perhaps we could work on speaking more gently and kindly to our wives and husbands, even our dogs. We need to stop waiting for the Republicans and Democrats, Fox and CNN to use words more kindly and accurately. We need to begin with ourselves.
“SECRETLY INCREDIBLE”
Here was my report and affirmation to my 12-step sponsor the other day:
Dear _____,
Today, my report and affirmation to my 12-step sponsor read as follows: “No violations, other than some passing fantasies. I didn’t let them pass as quickly as I would have liked, but they did pass.
Today, by God’s grace, I will not complain about anything or anyone. This includes myself. Instead, I will be grateful, and will do whatever I can to serve God and others, in order to make this a slightly better world than it is right now.”
My sponsor’s reply was at once an encouragement and a rebuke. “So, I see a contradiction in your report and your affirmation. You said you did not let them pass as quickly as you would have liked and then you state that you won’t complain about anything. Relish your success.
Be secretly incredible today to tie in to your affirmation.”
I wrote, “Thanks so much for the correction! You are right.
Thanks also for giving me a wonderful idea for a blog: “Secretly Incredible.’”
So, let me make a list of things about me that stand a chance of being “secretly incredible.” Of course, since I am posting this, it will be an open secret. So, here is a not-so-secret list of my current secret incredibles:
- I am honest about my weaknesses, at least some of the time.
- I am admitting to others some of my weaknesses, in order that they both hold me accountable and encourage me.
- I am making positive affirmations, and trying to live by them.
- I am aware of the danger and yukkiness of complaining, and am seeking to avoid it.
- I am capable of having my contradictions pointed out without coming unglued.
What are your secret incredibles? Most of us are aware of our faults and failings. Are you also aware of what’s right about you? Sometimes I think we hide all our secrets deep inside, unaware that some of those secrets might be just fine.
“THE NAME OF JESUS AND A SPIRIT OF GRATITUDE”
“And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:17, New English Translation)
Reading other people’s mail is fun. Sometimes, however, we find out that the letter is to us and about us after all. In Colossians 3-4, the Apostle Paul is giving some helpful advice about how to live to an ancient church. Strangely enough, it might also speak to decisions we all need to make on a daily basis.
Take Colossians 3:17 for example. N.T. Wright comments,
“Paul now closes the circle which began at 2:6. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus. Acting ‘in someone’s name’ means both representing him and being empowered to do so. Paul’s exhortation is therefore a salutary check on behaviour (‘can I really do this, if I am representing the Lord Jesus?’) and an encouragement to persevere with difficult tasks undertaken for him, knowing that necessary strength will be provided. And again Paul adds the characteristic emphasis: giving thanks to God the Father through him. The centre of Christian living is grateful worship, which is to affect ‘whatever we do’: since ‘all things’ have been created through Christ and also, in principle, redeemed through him, Christians can do all that they do, whether it be manual work, political activity, raising a family, writing a book, playing tennis, or whatever, in his name and with gratitude. Jesus, the true divine and human image of God, the one whose cross secured our reconciliation, is the reason for our gratitude, and the one ‘through whom’ we can now offer that gratitude to the Father himself.” (N.T. Wright, The Epistles of Paul to the Colossians and Philemon : An Introduction and Commentary, Tyndale New Testament Commentary, pp 150-151. )
While this is true, it is also true that, if I cannot do something “in the name of Jesus,” I had better leave it alone. And I can think of lots of things that I can’t do in the name of Jesus, or with gratitude.
One of the less serious examples is playing word games on my computer. Now, I hear someone saying, “Good grief! What on earth is wrong with that?!”
And the answer is, absolutely nothing—for some people. However, I am not some people. I’m just me. And the person that is just me doesn’t have any business playing word games on my computer. The reason is simple: I will tell myself that I’ll just play one game. However, I know I’m lying to myself even when I say this.
Two hours later, I’m still playing, my hands are hurting, I’ve neglected to write my daily blog, I haven’t been preparing for classes I’m teaching, I haven’t done some tasks around the house that need to be done, and I’m feeling horrible about myself. So, I play some more word games on my computer.
If I can’t play word games in the name of Jesus, or if I can’t be thankful for doing so, then I had better leave it alone. While it is very important to say and do things in the name of Jesus and with a spirit of gratitude, it is also very important to refuse to say or do things when I can’t, with a good conscience, do them in the name of Jesus with gratitude. Stationed beside the doors of all choices are two armed guards: The Name and Gratitude. I need to let these guards do their job.
“First things First: the Priority of Doing”
“If anyone’s will is to do God’s will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority.” (John 7:17, English Standard Version)
Jesus was in the midst of controversy when he spoke these words. Some people were saying that Jesus was a good man. Others thought him a deceiver. Shortly after Jesus spoke these words, the crowd accused him of having a demon.
In other words, it was a fairly typical time in Jesus’ life. He seemed (and still seems) to generate controversy, wherever he went.
Here, Jesus says something very simple: You only know the truth when you act.
Too often, we sit around waiting. We are waiting for Truth, for Love, for Something. And all too often, no mighty wave of Truth crashes over us. No Love taps us on the shoulder, spins us around, and gives us a kiss. Something does happen, but it isn’t the something we had hoped for.
Perhaps we should do something. Doing often comes first. Knowing is often the caboose of the train, not its engine.
By the by, this is not just true in spiritual matters. If you want to learn anything from cooking to plumbing, from learning to sew to figuring out how to rewire a light switch, you have to do something.
Don’t get me wrong! Knowing is important. But far too often, we think we have to know everything before we do anything. Also, we have a tendency to think that knowing always precedes doing. Sometimes, yes, but not always.
A commentator on John 7:17 says it pretty well:
“If they choose to do God’s will, Jesus said, they will find out his teaching comes from God. This enunciates a very important fact: recognizing the truth of Jesus’ teaching is not dependent upon intellectual ability or formal learning, nor is it a reward for the noble search for truth. It depends, rather, upon a person’s willingness to do the will of God. The impediments to knowing the truth about God are more likely to be moral (lack of readiness to do God’s will) than anything else.” (Colin G. Kruse, The Gospel according to John: An Introduction and Commentary, Tyndale New Testament Commentaries, p. 184)
Usually, we already know something we need to do. We would probably become a lot smarter if we would just do that.
Excuse me, but I need to finish this post. I’ve got some things that I know I need to do to prepare for the class I’m teaching this afternoon!