Posts Tagged: Guilt

“Bullied by a Gang of Thoughts”

On May 26, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I am just starting my “3-Minute Retreat” from Loyola Publishing. Today, as with many days, the retreat starts out with an admonition to let go of any distracting thoughts. I am not sure if I am holding on to such thoughts or if they are holding on to me. I have a lot of clingy thoughts.

Well, I should be mature enough to do this. I am in charge of my thoughts. I am bigger and meaner and more determined than they are. I refuse to be bullied by a gang of nasty, useless thoughts!

And what are the names of these gang members? Regret, Resentment, Guilt, Fear, A-Sense-Of-Worthlessness, Desire-For-More (and his twin brother Discontent).

So, I decide that, today, I’m going to stand up to these bullies. I say, to Regret (who seems to be their spokesman), “You little boys, run along. I’m moving forward, and if you try to stop me or follow me, I will hurt you.”

And so, I walk on. I look around and they are gone.

Huh! It works! I think I’ll get on with my day. Maybe you could too.

Three practical suggestions:

  1. Name the thoughts that are bullying you.
  2. Tell them to shove off.
  3. Walk in the direction of the next right thing to do.
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“Guilt Prolongs the Problem”

On February 8, 2019 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer


Here is a meditation for addicts that I read just this morning.  This is a Hazelden reading from a book by Melody Beattie that everyone in the world should take buy and read until it has disintegrated.  We should also put a lot of her good suggestions into daily practice until they becomes part of who we are.  Here is today’s reading from her book on Hazelden’s “Thought for the Day” (https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/thought-for-the-day, accessed 02-08-2019).

“Friday, February 8

Letting Go of Guilt 

Feeling good about ourselves is a choice. So is feeling guilty. When guilt is legitimate, it acts as a warning light, signaling that we’re off course. Then its purpose is finished.

 Wallowing in guilt allows others to control us. It makes us feel not good enough. It prevents us from setting boundaries and taking other healthy action to care for ourselves.

We may have learned to habitually feel guilty as an instinctive reaction to life. Now we know that we don’t have to feel guilty. Even if we’ve done something that violates a value, extended guilt does not solve the problem; it prolongs the problem. So make an amend. Change a behavior. Then let guilt go.

Today, God, help me to become entirely ready to let go of guilt. Please take it from me, and replace it with self-love.”

(From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.)

I was especially struck by her statements that “. . . extended guilt does not solve the problem; it prolongs the problem.  So make an amend.  Change a behavior.  Then let guilt go.”

When I choose to prolong guilt, rather than choosing to make an amend to someone and to change my behavior, I am simply adding one more wrong thing to feel guilty about—my guilt.  Guilt itself becomes one more wrong behavior whenever I do not address honesty the wrong behavior that gave rise to the guilt.  Prolonging guilt is merely a way for me to avoid the hard work of trusting God, asking for forgiveness, and doing the next right thing.  Real guilt is good.  Prolonged guilt is not.

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