Posts By Dteb

“Thought Substitution”

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8, English Standard Version)

I sometimes struggle with inappropriate and unhealthy thoughts of various flavors. When I’m doing that, I often get trapped into trying not to think those thoughts. This is always a mistake. It has long been known that you can’t not think about something. The classic example is the pink polka-dot elephant. If someone tells you not to think about a pink polka-dot elephant, suddenly your whole mental universe seems to be populated with brightly colored pachyderms.

So, why is that, even knowing this, I so often get caught in these hellish mental echo chambers? It occurred to me just this afternoon that I am often telling myself that I should be able to not think unhealthy thoughts. In other words, I am struggling with pride, not just unhealthy thoughts. And the more I struggle with pride and my thought life, the less I have to be proud of. Awareness of what is going on in my (sometimes) crazy brain is a good thing. Focusing on these thoughts is not.

I wonder if the Apostle Paul was driving at this very thing when he wrote the words that lead off this post.  Perhaps the Philippian believers were thinking unhealthy thoughts and then getting even sicker as they tried not to think about unhealthy thoughts. It is certainly possible. It may not always be the case, but I suspect that, as a general rule, if Paul said that believers ought to do something, it was because they weren’t doing that particular something. Perhaps the folks to whom Paul is writing this letter was struggling with focusing their mind on the wrong things.

We have a saying in twelve-step programs that what you resist persists. I think I’ll try peaceful non-resistance with my own mind. After all, nobody really wins a civil war with his or her own mind.

MALACHI: THE PEOPLE’S QUESTIONS AND STATEMENTS ABOUT GOD

The Book of Malachi is the last book in the Old Testament for Christians. For Jews, the book closes out the prophets. It is one of the most neglected books in the Bible. There are many reasons for this, I suppose. It is not a long book (only 54 verses). While this might recommend it to some of us, others might say, “Oh well, it’s short. Why bother?” Malachi is not as dramatic as many of the prophets. While many of the prophets are fireworks, Malachi comes across as something of a damp squib. There is no narrative in the book, no story. There are no miracles.

However, I am coming to love the book more and more. For one thing, I am coming to value its dialogical nature. Malachi is a conversation, a conversation between God and humans, with Malachi representing God, but also giving voice to what God’s people are saying—or at least what God’s people are thinking.

But even though I am coming to love Malachi, I still don’t like it. Here’s why: Malachi is incredibly meddlesome. The prophet meddles with people’s money, marriages, motivations, and mirages. That last part is not merely chosen for the sake of alliteration. The people had this mirage (this fantasy, if you prefer) that they were being ill-treated by their God. They were alive enough to complain, but they thought they had it really bad. Here are a couple of examples of the back-and-forth between God (through the prophet Malachi) and the people:

“I have loved you,” says the LORD. But you say, “How have you loved us?” (Mal. 1:2)

Mal. 1:6 ¶ “A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am a father, where is my honor? And if I am a master, where is my fear? says the LORD of hosts to you, O priests, who despise my name. But you say, ‘How have we despised your name?’

Mal. 1:7 By offering polluted food upon my altar. But you say, ‘How have we polluted you?’ By saying that the LORD’S table may be despised.”

Now it must be acknowledged that life in Judea during the time of Malachi’s prophecy was no box of chocolates. Some of the people had returned from the Babylonian exile after the Persians conquered the Babylonians. However, Judah had no king. They were a small, minor part of one province of the vast Persian Empire. The temple had been rebuilt, but it was tiny and drab compared to the temple built by Solomon. No, life was not easy.

But they were alive and did have a temple. They had some money. In fact, they had enough money to decide whether to give some for the upkeep of the temple and the sustenance of the priests. Yet many of the people and the priests were chronically dissatisfied. They had become a bunch of whiny malcontents who blamed someone else—even God—for all their real and imagined woes. Of course, nothing was the result of their own bad choices. They were being victimized by their own feeling of being victimized.

Does this sound more than a bit familiar? Does it sound a bit like America right now? It does to me! A demonic spirit of grievance has gripped our nation. We play the victim, even though many of us have incredible resources.

I was standing in a long line waiting to go into a very nice restaurant in Sarasota. A man whom I did not know was complaining about inflation and blaming it all on President Biden. I don’t always agree with President Biden either. However, here were these two old guys standing in a long line, about to make our own contribution to inflation with our consumer spending. And what were we doing? Complaining about inflation!

I wonder what Malachi would say to us. Would he change much? I doubt it. He would say, “You think you have it hard? You don’t even know what having it hard would look like.”

God and God’s grace doesn’t make things easy. God and God’s grace does make things possible. God and God’s grace can help us to praise God and do the next right thing, even when things aren’t how we would like to have them.

“Seeking God Rather than God’s Seat”

I learn a lot from my little dog, Laylah. After a meal, especially breakfast, she likes to jump up in the chair I was sitting in and curl up in a ball. However, sometimes she’s a little premature. The other morning, for example, my little dog misgauged my departure from the breakfast table. I left, but only to warm up my coffee. When I came back, she was in my chair. She looked very sheepish, even for a dog, but didn’t offer to get up. After staring at her smiling for a little while, I went around the table to another chair. Immediately, Laylah jumped off my chair and came around the table to sit on my lap.

“I think she is more interested in you than your chair,” my wife observed.

That set me to thinking, as most things do. I thought of a possible analogy to God. Of course, most things set me to thinking, especially about God and our relationship to God.

The same Hebrew word is used for “chair” or “seat” and “throne” in the Old Testament. The context of particular Scripture will help to determine the translation. The word even applies to God’s throne.

Now, I don’t think that my little dog thinks I’m God—just the alpha dog. Still . . .

There are times when I wonder if I want God or God’s seat. To ask the question another way, do I want to sit on the throne and be God? Of course, I would respond with a suitably humble answer. Of course, God is God and God is on the throne!

Buy then there is the way I live. Do I really want God, or do I want to be God? I want to make my own decisions, to be my own man. On the other hand, I do make quite a mess of my life when I play at being God.

Yes, I can learn a lot from my little dog!

“Engaging with Juggling and the Success in Failing”

Last evening, I was pulling out of my parking space after a twelve-step meeting and getting ready to head home. A couple of other young people (college age, I suppose) were getting out of a car. One of them was already out and juggling some objects that looked like bowling pins. Not just juggling; juggling quite well.

I wasn’t in a hurry, and I’ve always wanted to learn to juggle. My attempts have been pretty pathetic and very intermittent. I stopped and rolled down my window for a chat. “Well done!” I exclaimed. “I’ve always wanted to learn to juggle, but I’m afraid that I’ve never gotten the hang of it. I’ve failed.”

The young person smiled and said, “Engaging with the activity is success, even if you fail.”

Ironically, my affirmation for the day was as follows:

Today, by God’s grace, I am eating wisely, exercising, and working on my studies, the house, and the flower beds with a thankful heart. I refuse to be morose, even when I mess up.

It is amazing how things come together like that, isn’t it? Some people call it “synchronicity”, but no matter what you call it, it is a strange and wonderful thing to experience.

But back to the main point of this post: I have never had a high tolerance for failure. On the other hand, failure is the only way to learn and grow and (eventually) succeed, at least some of the time. But this wise young person had reframed the whole matter of failure and success for me. Engaging with something or someone in a healthy and respectful manner is itself success.

I think I am going to learn how to juggle.

“No End to Better”

I have always wanted to be better. There have been times when I thought I was succeeding in that desire, but not very often. In what arena did I (and do I) want to be better? You name it; I want to be better at it.

There are little endeavors such as chess and softball. Then there are the really important things: being a better writer, a better teacher, a better husband, a better follower of Jesus.

That desire for improvement and growth is not always a good thing, frankly. Sometimes, I want to be better for self-serving reasons. There are also times when wanting to be better keeps me from enjoying people and life in the moment. Often, my quest (lust?) for better only succeeds in making me bitter that I’m not—not better, that is.

A friend of mine who is also on a quest for better gave me a wonderful saying that I had never heard before: “There is no end to better.” That could be bad news. If there is no finish line, no end in sight for better, how do I know when I’ve finished the race?

But perhaps a race is not the best metaphor here.  Perhaps a marriage would be a better analogy. My wife and I will soon be celebrating fifty years of marriage. We have our struggles and disagreements, as all couples do. But we are both committed to making our relationship better. I’ve often said that, if you’re not working on your marriage, you’re working on you divorce.  That is not pessimism. That’s the way it is.

So, the fact that there is no end to better is good news, actually. It means that no matter how long you and I have been around and doing things, we can still be better. And really now: Do you really want to just stay the same?

“Not Every Day is Going to be a Ten”

A friend of mine, who is a fellow-addict, often helps me to write these posts. He does a daily report to me. He had a rough day yesterday, but acknowledged in his report, “Not every day is gonna be a 10.”

This is a hard truth that I have to learn and relearn every day of my life. For example, yesterday I broke the terminal post off a new battery I was trying to install on my riding lawn mower. However, I tried something new: I refused to call myself a lot of unflattering and unrepeatable names. We can’t afford to buy another battery right now, but the old battery will still work (at least for now), if I charge it up before I try to start the mower.

My friend stayed sober and did good, healthy things despite his tough day. He also made a gratitude list. It is a never-ceasing wonder to me how many things there are in the universe for which to give thanks. For example, yesterday there was a mixture of sunshine and rain showers. During one of the little showers, I stood outside and just experienced the rain. I looked at the rain on the leaves of our wisteria, the flowers that my wife loves and knows all the names of, the green grass that needed to be mowed. I felt such joy.

My wife saw one of her little hummingbirds a couple of times today. She planted some basil in flowerpots, and it is thriving. She used to air fryer to dry some basil leaves, and the whole house smelled like basil. Nice!

Not every day is going to be a ten, but if we are alive, we get to experience whatever comes our way. Some of those experiences will be profoundly uncomfortable. Occasionally, those experiences will even be tragic. However, the fact is that we get to experience life makes every day worthwhile, even if is a .002 day.

Not a Stray Anymore

“Life is great when you’re not a stray anymore.”

A friend of ours loves cats, especially cats who are strays or sick or abandoned. I’m not sure if such forlorn felines find Sarah or if Sarah finds them. All I know is that Sarah and the cats find each other.

Being a stray is not an easy life. Neither is being astray from God or others or your own better self. Believe me: I tried it for a long time, and being a stray is not freedom in any sense that is worthy of the name freedom. You can’t relax, you can’t rest, and you’re never sure about anything or anyone.

But when you’re not a stray anymore, when you feel that you belong, . . . what a wonderful feeling it is!

During his earthly life, Jesus seemed to take in a lot of stray cats of the two-legged variety. In fact, Jesus got in trouble for it. “He eats with sinners, tax collectors, and prostitutes,” complained the good (?) religious people of that day.

But the strays had a different opinion about Jesus. They were just glad to finally have a home, good food, and a place in the heart of Jesus to rest.

The Bible may not speak of us as stray cats, but it does speak of us as sheep that are terribly prone to straying. “All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53:6, English Standard Version) And Peter writs, “For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.” (1 Peter 2:25)

So, I’m not a stray sheep any more. I’m not a stray cat either. I belong.

So do you, whether or not you know it. God has a very big house. There is plenty of room for all the stray human cats in the universe. And if there are stray creatures in other parts of the universe, there is room for them too. Life is great when you’re not a stray anymore.

“Standing Up For Our Limits”

“Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” (Matthew 5:37)

“Now the inner voice of our Higher Power is showing us our limits and encouraging us to stand up for them.” (From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.)

Standing up for our limits: What an interesting and bizarre thing to do! We usually stand up for our own rights. Occasionally, we stand up for the rights of others. We also stand up and speak up sometimes when we should sit down and shut up.

But standing up for our limits? Really? Is that even a thing?

Yes, it is a thing. Frequently, it is a good thing. I only have so much time. Saying yes to everything and everyone is not a real option, though I often pretend it is. When I do that, I stress myself out trying to keep up with all my yeses. I become resentful about all the things I have to do, even though I’m the one who agreed to do them. As Andy Stanley says, “You were present at every single decision you ever made.” And other people also get stressed out by my unfulfilled (or under-fulfilled) yeses.

Probably the most serious aspect of the matter is that, when I do not stand up for my limits, I neglect people and things that really need and deserve my attention. As someone has said, “When you’re saying yes to one thing, you’re saying no to another.” Recognizing my limits is a way of loving other people, ourselves, and God—all at the same time.

Years ago, I read somewhere that “No,” can be a holy word. That is a form of holiness that I need to pursue with more diligence. You too?

“Asking, Seeking, Knocking”

Matt. 7:7 ¶ “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Matt. 7:8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.

Matt. 7:9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?

Matt. 7:10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?

Matt. 7:11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (English Standard Version)

I asked for something, and God didn’t come through right away. Man, am I ever ticked off with the Almighty! I thought that God was faster than a speeding bullet. (Wait! That’s superman, isn’t it?)

Sometimes, God seems awfully slow, doesn’t he? Sometimes, we pray and we pray and we pray, and . . . nothing.

According to Matthew’s Gospel, prayer is not a flash-in-the-pan activity. The verbs for asking, seeking, and knocking are not only action words. They are all in the present tense in Greek. This suggests ongoing, repetitive action. We need to keep on asking, seeking, and knocking.

Whydo we need to keep on asking, seeking, and knocking? Is God hard of hearing or just plain grudging about giving us what we want (or think we want)? Or is it that God wants us to refine the things we ask of him? Perhaps we need to keep on keeping on because we don’t know what to ask for until we’ve asked for a long time. Berries must ripen and that takes time. Prayers must also ripen.

I can raise a lot more questions about prayer than I can answer. I can also think and write and ask questions about prayer a lot more than I actually pray. But I think that, for me at least the bottom line is expressed in an old saying: “What we gain too easily, we esteem too lightly.” Perhaps God’s delays are because God wants us to esteem prayer more. Perhaps God also wants us to esteem the One to whom we pray more.

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