Posts Tagged: loving others

“ON THE MAKING OF LISTS”

On March 19, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I like to make lists.

Of course, as with everything else that I enjoy, I tend to overdo it at times.  Sometimes, my lists become a disease, multiplying like a fast-moving virus.  I import the expectations of others, in addition to my own excessive self-demands.

However, the fact that a thing can become demonic doesn’t mean that it wasn’t once angelic.  The Bible seems to indicate that the demons are actually fallen angels.  Whether or not demons can ever be rehabilitated, I don’t know.  But I think that lists can be.

So, what do lists do for me?

Well, for one thing, they keep my attention-deficit-mind a little more focused.  I don’t want to oversell this, but lists do help me—provided, of course, that I can remember where I put the list and remember to look at it every once in a while.

Also, there is a satisfaction that comes from checking off, one-by-one, the items on my lists.  It is a pretty cheap form of entertainment, but it entertains me nevertheless.  Years ago, I heard someone speak of “the satisfaction of a bill marked PAID.”  There is a similar satisfaction that is the fruit of an item on the list that is checked off.

Of course, a TO-DO list is no substitute for having worthwhile goals in the first place.  And these goals must themselves flow from a commitment to good, solid values that not only serve me well, but also serve other people, our planet, and God.  A list populated with trivia is still trivial, even if I check it all off.

However, it is precisely at the point of my values and goals that I find the greatest benefit to lists.  Here is how this works for me: Lists often make me ask difficult questions that I don’t really want to ask.  Lists invite me to ask such questions as  these:

  • Do the items on this list reflect my best values and goals?
  • Does doing this item and crossing it off my list make me a better person?
  • Do the things on this list have a shot at helping to make other people better?
  • Does what I’m doing benefit the planet?
  • Does this list and the items on it make God look as good as God is?
  • If the answer to any of the above questions is “No” or “I don’t know,” why am I doing this stuff?

And then, I can ask two more questions:

  • What can I take off the list to make room for the things that do matter?
  • What do I need to add to the list?

I am comforted a bit in my list-making by the fact that God apparently likes lists as well.  There are of course, various lists in the Bible: lists of sacrifices, lists of holy days, and so on.  One of the most famous lists is the Ten Commandments.  It is always good to remind myself that I must not murder anyone today.  (I think that, by extension, this might include not assassinating anyone’s reputation.)

The most famous list of the New Testament actually quotes and puts together two commandments from the Old Testament.  Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment.  Jesus did not answer with one commandment.  Instead, he made a list of two: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.  Perhaps my individual lists would be improved if I remembered this two-item list.

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“LOVE IS NOT A ZERO-SUM GAME”

On July 23, 2017 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“One of the teachers of religious law was standing there listening to the debate. He realized that Jesus had answered well, so he asked, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

  Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord.

 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’

 The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”

 The teacher of religious law replied, “Well said, Teacher. You have spoken the truth by saying that there is only one God and no other.

 And I know it is important to love him with all my heart and all my understanding and all my strength, and to love my neighbor as myself. This is more important than to offer all of the burnt offerings and sacrifices required in the law.”

 Realizing how much the man understood, Jesus said to him, “You are not far from the Kingdom of God.” And after that, no one dared to ask him any more questions.”  (Mark 12:28-34.)

 

Much of life seems to be a zero-sum game: winners and losers, the more of this the less of that.  That probably works for many things—at least in the short-run.  We’ve set things up that way.

However, in many of the most important aspects of life, zero-sum is not the name of the game.  When two people who have been friends for a long time are having a good conversation, who wins and who loses?  The same question elicits the same answer when a husband and wife are enjoying a walk along the beach at sunset.  Who wins when your little son or daughter or grandchild draws you a picture or says that he or she loves you?  You get the point.

And yet, I fall into zero-sum thinking all the time.  For example, I was thinking this morning about loving God versus loving people.  Did you notice the word “versus” in the preceding sentence?  The word “versus” is a zero-sum word.

Jesus pointed out that loving God and loving people is at the center of the Old Testament.  And I have almost completely misunderstood what he was saying.  I am ashamed to admit it, but I will anyway.  The unspoken, unbelieving question that I have been asking in my heart of hearts is this: “How can I love God with everything I’ve gotten, and still love other people?”

In particular, I love my wife so much that I am sometimes afraid that I love her more than I love God.  If love is a zero-sum game, then this would be a distinct possibility, and my wife would be an idol.

However, if love is not a zero-sum game, then loving God with everything I am and have and loving my wife as myself becomes exceedingly unproblematic.

As often happens with me, my wrong assumptions lead to false problems.

One other thing: If love is not a zero-sum game, then God can (and does!) love everyone equally.  And suddenly, John 3:16 makes sense: “For God so loved the world . . . .”

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