Posts Tagged: self-forgiveness
“The Hardest Someone to Forgive”
Here is part of a 12-step reading from Hazelden Publishing:
“Forgiveness should be an ongoing process. Attention to it
daily will ease our relationships with others and encourage greater self-love.
First on our list for forgiveness should be ourselves. Daily, we heap
recriminations upon ourselves. And our lack of self-love hinders our ability to
love others, which in turn affects our treatment of them. We’ve come full
circle – and forgiveness is in order. It can free us. It will change our
perceptions of life’s events, and it promises greater happiness.
The forgiving heart is magical. My whole life will undergo a dynamic change
when I develop a forgiving heart.” (From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for
Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.)
I was especially struck by the words, “First on our list for forgiveness should be ourselves. Daily, we heap recriminations upon ourselves. And our lack of self-love hinders our ability to love others, which in turn affects our treatment of them.”
I struggle with forgiving the man that I was. I did so many stupid, harmful things to myself and many others. The fallout from those decisions haunts me and others to this very day. I will go to my grave grieving over these things.
Or will I? Grieving is good, if it leads to real repentance and a better, kinder way of living. But grief is not good, in and of itself. I am not the man I used to be, no matter what I or anyone else thinks about the matter.
But I still struggle with self-forgiveness. Partly, this may be caused by the fact that I don’t see self-forgiveness taught in the Bible. Yes, God forgives. Sometimes, other people forgive. I am to forgive others. Yes, yes, and yes. But where in the Bible does it say anything about self-forgiveness?
The problem with asking hard questions is that sometimes you get even harder answers. This was the case when I asked the question about biblical self-forgiveness.
A verse came to mind. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Colossians 3:13 | NIV).
I suspect that I am a someone. I suspect that we are all someones.
Overcoming Resentment, Part 1
I’ve been struggling with resentment here of late. I’ve been especially resentful toward my own past self, but resentment is like a raging river: it doesn’t respect any banks. When I allow resentment to build, even resentment toward myself, it will soon be resentment toward everyone and everything.
So, I did what all modern, spiritual people do: I googled resentment! I typed the question, “What is resentment, and what is wrong with it?”
My first hit was a strike-out. The title (10 Steps to Letting Go of Resentment | Psychology Today) sounded good, but when I went to https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-therapist-is-in/201103/10-steps-letting-go-resentment, I was informed of the following:
“Access Denied
You are not authorized to access this page.”
I was starting to feel resentment toward Psychology Today, when I realized that, perhaps this was simply indicating that I really did need some help. I decided to go to another site. I’m glad that I did!
I am unabashed Christian, but I go to many sources for help, including to Buddhists. I just discovered a helpful site: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/4-powerful-tips-to-reduce-resentment-and-feel-happier/, (accessed 04-20-2017). The rest of this blog will make more sense if you follow the link, and read the article. It is simple, yet profound.
So, for the next fourteen days, I plan to actually pray (out loud, as much as possible) for anyone against whom I am inclined to hold resentments. That would include my own fool self. I will ask God to give them/me happiness and blessings.
Care to join me? There’s plenty of room in this anti-resentment coalition. It isn’t crowded at all!
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- “Even a Sliver of Light” April 9, 2024“For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” (2 Corinthians 5:6, English Standard Version) I missed the total eclipse yesterday. There were a number of good reasons for this, but […]
- “The Process in Miracles and the Miracle of Process” March 11, 2024“2 Kings 5:1 Naaman, commander of the army of the king of Syria, was a great man with his master and in high favor, because by him the LORD had given victory to Syria. He was a mighty man of valor, but he was a leper. 2 Now the Syrians on one of their raids […]
- “The Power of Encouragement—Even for Old People” March 10, 2024“But encourage each other every day while it is ‘today.’ Help each other so none of you will become hardened because sin has tricked you.” (Hebrews 3:13, New Century Version) Yesterday, I was walking at a nearby park. There was a large group of young people some of whom were running while other young people […]
- “Endurance” March 10, 2024“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.” (Hebrews 10:36, English Standard Version) “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us […]
- “The Limits of Non-Judgmentalism” February 24, 2024“Matt. 7:1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. Matt. 7:2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2, English Standard Version) This morning, in my virtual 12-step meeting, we discussed the topic of judgmentalism. There were many wise […]
- “Delighting in Being Told What to Do?!?” February 23, 2024“Psa. 112:1 Praise the LORD! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commandments! 2 His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. 3 Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures […]
- “Character is the Real Lesson” January 19, 2024I am often confused about what lesson I’m really supposed to be learning. For example, this morning I was trying to knock out several Spanish lessons. My intentions were a lot better than my internet connection. I’ve done three lessons. Or rather, I’ve done two lessons. One of them I did twice because the internet […]
- “The Year of Becoming Un-Planked” January 1, 2024Each year, I try to come up with one word or a short phrase for what I intend to work on in the upcoming year. 2024 is “The Year of Becoming Un-Planked”. What?!! What does that even mean? So glad that you asked! Jesus said to his disciples, “Why do you look at the speck […]
- “Searching for the Noble One” December 26, 2023My wife and I were reading Luke, chapter 2 on Christmas Day. Luke 2 talks about the shepherds being told to look for this very special child—in fact, this King—in a stable. I prefer the word “barn”. I grew up on a farm. I know what a barn is. A stable is entirely too biblical […]
- “That Don’t Impress God Much” December 14, 2023DTEB, “That Don’t Impress God Much” “That Don’t Impress Me Much” (Song by Robert John Lange and Shania Twain) Micah 6:8 (MSG) “But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be […]
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