“PITY RATHER THAN DESTRUCTION”
“Should not, then, this robber, or this adulterer, be destroyed? By no means, but take it rather this way: This man who errs and is deceived concerning things of greatest moment, who is blinded, not in the vision which distinguisheth black and white, but in the judgment which distinguisheth Good and Evil—should we not destroy him? And thus speaking, you shall know how inhuman is that which you say, and how like as if you said, Shall we not destroy this blind man, this deaf man? For if it is the greatest injury to be deprived of the greatest things, and the greatest thing in every man is a Will such as he ought to have, and one be deprived of this, why are you still indignant with him? Man, you should not be moved contrary to Nature by the evil deeds of other men. Pity him rather, be not inclined to offense and hatred, abandon the phrases of the multitude, like “these cursed wretches.” How have you suddenly become so wise and hard to please?” (Epictetus)
“Frodo: ‘It’s a pity Bilbo didn’t kill Gollum when he had the chance.’
Gandalf: ‘Pity? It’s a pity that stayed Bilbo’s hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play in it, for good or evil, before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many—yours not least.’” (J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring.)
This morning, I was thinking about someone for whom I have great contempt. It isn’t important who. Fill in the blank, if you like.
Then, I turned “at random” to the above quote from the Stoic philosopher Epictetus. (Was it truly “at random”? I doubt it.)
Pity! Evil deeds show that someone is blind in very significant ways. The old expression “more to be pitied than censored” comes to mind.
The word “pity” may be related to the word “piety.” Both words get a bad press these days. Perhaps they deserve it. Think, for example, of the exclamation, “I don’t want your pity!”
Then again, maybe both pity and piety need to be brought back from exile. Perhaps the foundation of human society is pity, which is in turn a crucial aspect of piety.
Perhaps we could begin with our own evil, our own blindness. Perhaps we could have a little pity toward our own manifest and manifold stupidities.
Admittedly, self-pity can be a really bad thing. No question about that! I have often gotten enmeshed in self-pity. Easy to get into. Very nearly impossible to get out of!
However, even good things can be abused. Perhaps it is possible that exercising pity toward myself is appropriate if it is a balanced and appropriate pity.
As a friend of mine said many years ago (when he thought I was being too hard on myself), “You need to get off your own back!”
Perhaps if I got off my own back, I would have the courage to have pity on others as well.
“THE RESTORATIVE JUSTICE OF GOD”
“Many people associate the word “justice” with the penal system and retributive justice. Yet the prophets and Jesus clearly practiced what we now call “restorative justice.” Jesus never punished anybody. He undercut the basis for all violent, exclusionary, and punitive behavior. He became the forgiving victim so we would stop creating victims. He “justified” people by loving them and forgiving them at ever-deeper levels. ” (Richard Rohr, from his September 22, 2017 post, “Nonviolence: Healing Our Social Wounds,” at https://cac.org/category/daily-meditations/, italics mine. The entire post is well worth your time to read.)
A justice that restores, rather than punishes! Sounds like a wonderful dream, doesn’t it? It also sounds like a pipe dream.
Right after Rohr’s quote above, he writes the following lapidary paragraph:
“Punishment relies on enforcement and compliance but does not change the soul or the heart. Jesus held out for the heart; he restored people to their true and deepest identity. When the church itself resorts to various forms of shaming and punishment for “sin,” it is relying upon the retributive methods of this world and not the restorative methods of Jesus. We have a lot of growing up to do in the ways of Christ.”
Many of Jesus’ teachings, as well as his encounters with people, were exercises in restorative justice. The story of the prodigal son—which should really be called “the story of the loving father and his two messed-up sons”—is about restorative justice. (See Luke 15:11-32 for further details.) The story of the Pharisee and the publican (Luke 18:9-14) is about God’s restorative justice, too.
In fact, I will make a bold, sweeping statement: Virtually everything Jesus said and did can be understood through the lens of restorative justice. It could be said that Jesus’ first name is “Restorative,” and his middle name is “Justice.”
While that may be all very well and good in the case of Jesus, can regular people practice this restorative justice? That is a very fine question indeed!
I have known a few people in my life who have practiced restorative justice. I am thinking of my mom. She was pretty good at restorative justice. I remember a time when I was going through a very wild, lost period in my life. She and I had some harsh words about my drinking, which was (of course) not really out of control—according to me. I spent the night out drinking with a friend, and then passed out at his house and spent the night.
The next day, we were all supposed to get together at my brother’s house for lunch. I almost didn’t go. Partly, I was too sick from the liquid flu. Partly, I did not want to face my mom. But I went.
Mom and I hardly spoke. My brother asked Mom to pray before we ate. She asked God to bless the food, but then she began to cry and said, “And forgive us . . . forgive me . . . when I am unkind to others.”
Anger can be resisted. But how do you defend yourself against humble kindness?
And then there is my wife. She has practiced restorative justice many times with me. She doesn’t even realize how rare and wonderful that is. The fact that she doesn’t realize it makes it even more wonderful.
So, what will you and I do today? Will we practice restorative justice today? I’m certain we will have opportunities to do that. The world is plum full of people that need restorative justice. Keep your eyes peeled and your heart open!
“THE MAN WHO SAVED THE WORLD”
Ever hear of Stanislav Petrov? Me neither—at least, not until this morning. However, we owe him a lot.
On September 26, 1983, Stanislav Petrov was on duty, monitoring the Soviet’s air defense system. Alarms went off, indicating that five nuclear warheads had been launched from the Unite States of America.
Petrov was supposed to notify his superiors, so that they could launch a counterstrike against the USA. He didn’t have much time to think about the matter. The missiles would reach the Soviet Union in just over twenty minutes.
But something didn’t seem quite right. The computer system he was working with had just been installed, and he didn’t entirely trust it. Furthermore, if the United States was really attacking the Soviet Union, why had they only launched five missiles?
So, he just sat there. Twenty minutes passed. No bombs.
Petrov was officially reprimanded for not following protocol. An old saying comes to mind: “Every good deed has its appropriate punishment.”
Petrov didn’t think of himself as a hero. “That was my job, but they were lucky it was me on shift that night.”
Petov died on May 19 of this year.
Thank you, Stanislav Petrov! Whether or not you thought of yourself as a hero, I do. The planet is still inhabitable, thanks to you.
I believe that there was a Man about two-thousand years ago who also saved the world. In this case, the nukes had already landed. Humankind was a nuclear wasteland. Sin had devastated the planet.
And then along came this Man named Jesus. A wonderful teacher? Yes! A miracle worker? I believe that he was.
But above all this, I believe that Jesus came to die for the sins of the world.
Hard to believe that one man could save the world, isn’t it? It is hard for me to believe. However, I kind of do believe it.
Thank you, Jesus. Whether or not you think of yourself as a hero, I do. This world and the next are inhabitable, thanks to you.
“BEING LOVED TOUCHES THE HEART”
A friend of mine in a twelve-step group I am part of is new to the program and young in years. However, he is very wise. He gave me a wonderful ritual: He touches his heart many times a day in order to remind himself of God’s love for him.
So, I have started doing this as well. I started it before I began writing this blog.
I used to think of symbols as being counterfeit substitutes for reality. Certainly, symbols can become hollow, emptied of all meaning.
However, symbols can also be powerful acted-out metaphors, pointing toward reality. And what reality is greater than God’s love for us?
To remind myself of God’s love for me is to remember than I am worthwhile. I have struggled with a feeling of unworthiness (if not worthlessness) since I was a small child. But, if God loves me . . ., oh my!
When I feel loved by God, I am more at peace and am more productive. When I touch my chest gently, I relax and can focus on the work at hand.
When I remind myself of God’s love for me, I am freed to love others as well. There is a saying that “Hurt people hurt people.” This is true. However, it is also true that loved people love people.
How about joining a club—the touching-the-heart club? Perhaps we can start a helpful trend!
“THE ROUTINES THAT FREE US”
“Most of life is routine – dull and grubby, but routine is the momentum that keeps a man going. If you wait for inspiration you’ll be standing on the corner after the parade is a mile down the street.” (Ben Nicholas.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/routine.html.)
“Routines are normal, natural, healthy things. Most of us take a shower and brush our teeth every day. That is a good routine. Spiritual disciplines are routines. That is a good thing. But once routines become routine you need to change your routine.” (Mark Batterson. Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/routine.html.)
I have always craved routine. I’ve also always resisted routine. Why the craving? Why the resisting?
I crave them because I’ve always suspected that the opposite is not spontaneity, but chaos. I still suspect that this is true. I think that Ben Nicholas (in the first quote above) expressed very nicely one of the reasons for routine: It keeps us going. It provides momentum.
Too often, I sit around waiting for momentum and inspiration to hit me. They won’t. Momentum is sustained by action, and inspiration often comes to me (when it shows up at all) in the midst of my routines. And when inspiration and momentum get married, they often produce some really nice children.
Why do I resist routine? Probably, I resist them for several (non)reasons. Laziness comes to mind immediately. Then too, there is the fear that the quote above (from Mark Batterson) encapsulates: I am afraid of my routines becoming routine.
And, of course, that is indeed a possibility. However, a possibility is not the same thing as an inevitability. Routines can be put to one side for a little while. They can be supplemented. I can substitute one good routine for another good routine. Routines don’t have to become routine.
Some of the most creative, spontaneous, fun people I have known have also been people who greatly valued their routine. They had a routine, but the routine did not have them.
I want to conclude these musings with someone else’s musings. The following is from the site http://www.sixfiguresunder.com/powerful-routines/, and nicely sums up both the dangers and opportunities of routines.
“ ‘You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.’ – John C. Maxwell
We all have habits, for better or for worse. I’ve noticed that some of my routines not only make my day smoother and more productive, but also save me time and money. Other routines or habits do just the opposite. Building up and improving the productive routines and rooting out the wasteful routines will improve the flow of life and cash.”
Note well! Improving good routines and grubbing out bad ones doesn’t simply improve cash flow. Such activities improve the flow of life. I can’t add much to that!
“A ‘GOOD’ ANNIVERSARY?”
Today, September 11, 2017, is the fourteenth anniversary of my coming clean about my past. It wasn’t easy. It still isn’t easy. The sins and wrong-doings may be in the past, but the effects upon those that I sinned against have ongoing effects on them. I am not immune either. There are times when even old scars ache.
However, I keep remembering my name: “FORGIVEN!” I keep remembering the God who sent his Son to die for my sins and indeed for the sins of the whole world. I keep remembering that, although I am not yet the man I want to be, I am not the man I once was either.
So, today is a day when I mourn the death of the man I used to be. He was never completely evil, but he certainly did great evil. I must never forget that.
But today is also a day when I celebrate a birth: the birth of a man who has tried to give his past a proper burial, a man who is not the same man he used to be, a man who is being changed from the inside out. I’m a lot of work and a work in progress, but I am, after all, God’s work.
I owe a lot to a bunch of people for the man I am becoming. I used to think that people are individuals. I suppose that we are, in some sense. However, I now suspect that we are also herd animals. So, I want to thank other members of my herd. It’s a big herd!
My wife has been my main “God-with-skin-on” person. She has been a faithful and consistent reminder that God accepts me as I am, but doesn’t leave me as I am. Thank God for both of those reminders!
Friends who have stuck with me in spite of everything also come to mind. They too are part of my herd, and I’m part of their herd.
In particular, twelve-step friends know all about my past, and still regard me kindly and hopefully. Sponsors, both those in the past and my present sponsor, have also been a vital part of the herd.
And then, there is my church family—particularly my/our pastor. I sent a grateful e mail to him today. Here it is in a somewhat modified form.
“Dear ________,
Another excellent sermon! Thanks!
A week ago yesterday, the devil tried to cut me out of the herd in our church parking lot. When Sharon and I arrived, it was hard to go in and face people. I wanted to bolt.
But I didn’t. And even though I sat there crying with my head down, God’s Word through you got through to me. Your prayer for me meant a lot to me also. (And, as already noted, it was answered swiftly!)
This Sunday, after living for a week with my new name (FORGIVEN!), I was in a much better place to receive God’s Word through you in a much better way. But when you flashed that picture of the lion chasing that lone animal (a wildebeest??), I thought of myself the previous week. I realized just how in danger I was in that moment. The evil one was trying to cut me out of the herd. If he had succeeded, he would not have eaten my lunch. He would have eaten me for lunch.
Depression isolates. Togetherness has great healing power. Almost makes you think that God made us for community, doesn’t it?!?
Warm Regards,
___________”
Stay with the herd, my friends! Stay with the herd!
“LAUGHING ABOUT WANT TO BE IN CHARGE”
“Never put anyone who wants to be in charge in charge of anything.” (Down to Earth Believer)
So, I caught myself wanting to be in control this morning. (I wonder how many times I don’t catch myself?) When I was a pastor, I often wanted to be in charge, and sometimes had the illusion that I was. Usually, the deacons, or another leader in the church, or some outspoken little old lady would bring me back to reality. God’s messengers are all over the place.
Ironically, my struggle with the desire to be in control was connected with a twelve-step group that our church may (or may not) be starting.
Why is this ironic? Ah, so you are not familiar with the twelve steps, are you? The first step is “We admitted were powerless . . . , and that our lives had become unmanageable.”
And the last clause of the twelfth step is that we commit ourselves “. . . to practice these principles in all areas of our lives.” I suppose that this applies to starting a twelve-step group as well. After all, the last time I checked, “all” still means ALL!
So, I started laughing. And the more I laughed, the funnier it seemed. The funnier it seemed, the more I laughed. I laughed until I cried. I felt God laughing along with me. When I am willing to laugh at my own foolish self, I have an endless source of fun and funny.
I have heard it said that the devil hates humor. There is much truth in that. Of course, the devil can bend good things to his own purposes, but that doesn’t mean that good things aren’t good things. They are still good. Laughter is extraordinarily good!
So, perhaps I will be involved in helping to start this group, and perhaps not. But one thing is for sure: I will not be in control. I don’t think that there has been a job opening in the God department, and the position is not likely to come open any time soon.
“ON LEFT TURNS, OBEYING THE LAW, JUDGMENTALISM, AND OTHER MATTERS
I was on my way to meet a friend. He usually drives to our twelve-step meeting. It helps me to save money.
However, there is left turn signal on the way to where we meet that makes eternity entirely believable. Only when someone pulls up on one of the side streets will the red light for the main road be triggered. And only after traffic on the side streets has done its thing will my left turn signal be activated. You can sit there a long time early on a Saturday morning before you can make a left turn. Furthermore, you can see about a quarter of a mile down the road from the light. If there is any traffic coming your way on the main road, you can certainly see it.
So, this past Saturday I was running late (as is often the case). I thought of turning left at the red light, since no one was coming. I’ve done so before. However, I decided to be a law-abiding citizen this time.
Just after this decision, an SUV came speeding around me, crossed the double yellow line and went into the left lane of traffic coming toward me, and turned left on a red left-turn light. Despite the fact that I had just about done a similar thing—perhaps even because of that fact—I could feel judgmentalism welling up inside of me. I became aware of the judgmental feelings, confessed my sin to God, and continued to wait for my light to change. Eventually, someone pulled up on one of the side roads, which triggered the cycle, and I turned.
It hit me only later: If I had been in the act of turning when the other vehicle came screaming around me, I would have almost certainly been hit. Such a hit on the driver’s side of a small car could easily have been fatal. And, of course, the police would have cited both the other driver and me, since we were both doing something illegal—provided, that is, that I was still alive to be cited.
I don’t know if I came up with this myself, but I have often thought that, whenever something bad happens, there are almost always at least two mistakes. If there is only one mistake, bad things generally don’t happen, because someone covers for the one who makes a the wrong choice. (Of course, there are exceptions, as there almost always are to nearly all generalizations.)
My feelings now changed from irritation at long lights and judgmentalism against the other driver (who had done what I wanted to do) to relief and gratitude that I was alive and that neither I nor my car, nor the other driver’s vehicle were banged up.
P.S. I arrived at our meeting place a minute before my ride got there.
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