“On Using a Wider Lens Camera for the Past”
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13b-14, English Standard Version. Paul has just listed a bunch of things, some good and some decidedly evil, that comprised his past. Only after he has remembered does he forget!)
The Hazelden website was down this morning, so I couldn’t do my “Today’s Thought” readings. So, I found another Hazelden book that I have in my print library, Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations. I was planning to read the meditation for November 19, but instead, my eyes fell on the page on the left side of the book—the meditation for the day before. I’m glad, this time at least, that my eyes did their own thing!
The page started off with an epigraph from Shakespeare:
“Praising what is lost
Makes the remembrance dear.”
The author of this meditation went on to note that addicts tend to look back on the past with regret. This regret takes two forms: Either the addict regrets pleasures that he/she can no longer enjoy, or the addict regrets the damages done to himself or herself and others. Most of my own regrets these days are about the damages I’ve done to others—and to myself. Unfortunately, I have an excellent memory when it comes to the wrongs I’ve done.
The author of this brief recovery thought goes on to write the following helpful comments:
“As we meet with others and talk our way into a balanced view of ourselves, we are likely to revise our notions of the past. To our surprise and joy, we find our focus widening; we are taking in other people. We are no longer isolated figures, but part of a landscape thronged with family and friends.
“One of the great things about our newfound health is this ability to recall an expanding past with pleasure and joy as we achieve a wider, more generous perspective. Our world grows and takes on more varied and deeper meanings.”
The meditation closes with the following affirmation: “Now that I am sane again, I can expand my vision of the past and find much to love and praise there.”
Using a wider lens for my past might lead to a more accurate and pleasing photograph. Zooming in on my very real mistakes and errors is like taking a closeup picture of a polluted patch of snow. and missing the panoramic view of the trees and mountains that surround the nasty patch.
My wife, who knows all about my past now, often reminds me that I was never quite as evil as I think I was. Maybe I need to start listening to her. I think I just will!
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