Posts Tagged: truth vs. opinions
“Speaking the Truth in Love”
“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,” (Ephesians 4:15, English Standard Version)
Yesterday, our pastor spoke about “little” lies. I think that his sermon could probably be boiled down to three words: There aren’t any! There aren’t any little lies, that is. Of course, there are lots of lies.
In our community group last night, we talked about lies and about how difficult it is to tell the truth. It is also difficult to hear the truth.
I pointed out that, in Ephesians 4:15, Paul tells the church that they/we are to “speak the truth in love.” I really wish that he hadn’t said that. Speaking the truth is really hard. Loving is really hard. When you put the two together, you are challenging people to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while walking a tight rope blindfolded over a lake full of hungry alligators.
So how do I speak the truth in love? I don’t know, but I will share a few suspicions with you.
In the first place, I need to be sure that I am speaking the truth. I have a tendency to say that I am speaking the truth, when in reality, I am simply spewing my opinion.
Second, I need to make sure that my “truth” is really truth, and not simply facts.
But aren’t truth and facts the same thing?
Nope! At least, not always.
Truths are always deep and important. Indeed, truths are vital. They are a matter of life and death.
Facts may be important, but often they are pretty trivial. If my wife is telling me about something that happened on Wednesday, but she says that it happened on Thursday, I don’t need to tell her “the truth.” Who cares?!
Now, of course, in a court of law, that fact (Wednesday or Thursday) could be the difference between a guilty verdict or an acquittal. Facts do matter in some situations. But in most cases, truth and facts are not the same thing. If I get confused about that, both love and truth go out the window.
Third, if I am to speak the truth in love, I need to ask and answer several questions:
- What is my motivation? Do I really value the other person, and that is why I need to tell them the truth?
- Do I have a close enough and good enough relationship with this person to speak the truth to him/her in such a way that they may be receptive to that truth? (Note that I said “. . . may be receptive . . . . There are no guarantees.)
- Is this the best time and are these the best circumstances to speak this truth to this person? A person has to be somewhat ready to hear the truth. We may or may not be able to discern timing. We need to lean heavily on the wisdom of God with regard to the matter of timing.
A final thought: Perhaps, before we don our armor, jump on our steed, and join in the battle for truth, we need to practice on ourselves. Maybe we should tell ourselves the truth, but do so in a loving manner. But that is a subject for another day, perhaps for tomorrow’s blog post.
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
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