Posts Tagged: talking too much

“Confessions of a Blabber Mouth”

On November 13, 2021 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

1 “Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. To draw near to listen is better than to offer the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they are doing evil. 2 Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few. 3 For a dream comes with much business, and a fool’s voice with many words.” (Ecclesiastes 5:13, English Standard Version)

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” (James 1:19, English Standard Version)

I talk too much. I’ve known this since I was fairly young. My wife and friends tolerate it because they love me. Others pretend to tolerate it.

Let me say more about this.

See what I mean?! I talk a lot even when I’m writing and not talking.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I frequently say things that are quite helpful to people. However, as with everything else in life, too much is too much. Nobody really wants to sift the sand along the seashore to find an occasional gem.

So, here is what I’ve decided to do.

  1. I have decided to join another twelve-step program, Talker’s Anonymous. I’m not sure if such an organization actually exists. If not, I may have to start one.

2. I have decided to start asking myself a series of questions before I speak.

Is this true?

Is this likely to helpful?

Is this the right time to say what I am thinking of saying?

Of course, the possibility exists that, by the time I have answered these questions, the conversation will have swirled on to other matters. Would that be a fatal thing—or even a serious thing? Probably not?

There is an old rabbinic saying which counsels students to “say little and do much.” Good advice! I think I’ll take it to heart—and to my lips.

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On June 27, 2019 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“Spewing Stupid”

“spew

verb

  1. expel large quantities of (something) rapidly and forcibly.” (https://www.google.com/search?q=spew+definition&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS844US844&oq=spew+defin&aqs=chrome.0.0j69i57j0l4.4837j1j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8)

“He’s just spewing stupid.” (Max, the son of one of my Hebrew students)

“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,

                        but only in expressing his opinion.”

(God, Proverbs 18:2 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version)

https://accordance.bible/link/read/ESVS#Jer._7:13”

My Hebrew students and I were looking at Proverbs 18:1-3 last night.  When we encountered the observation and warning about the fool in verse 2, one of my students commented that his teenage son said of someone, “He’s just spewing stupid.”

I had never heard this expression before, and was immediately captivated.  That is a wonderful expression: spewing stupid!

It reminds me of another proverb found in Proverbs 15:2.

“The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge,

but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.”

I have often been told that I talk too much.  I usually expend a lot of energy (and words) trying to defend myself against this charge.  Perhaps I should just accept the truth: I do talk too much.  And if I talk too much, I’m almost certainly going to just be spewing stupid.

Oh God, please help me not to spew stupid today.  I will intentionally keep this post short in order to avoid spewing stupid.

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“Life Apart and Life Impart”

On June 18, 2019 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

In an A. A. book titled Twenty-Four Hours a Day: The Little Black Book, today’s meditation talked about the life apart and the life impart.  What do the two words “apart” and “impart” mean in this context?

The life apart refers to “. . . the life of prayer and quiet communion with God.”  Whether we speak of prayer and communion with God, whether we even believe that there is a god, we all need some time alone.  We may call it “time to recharge the batteries,” or “me-time,” or anything else, but we all need it.  Some of us (who are introverts) need more time apart.  Others of us (who are extroverts) need less.  But we all need this kind of time.

Strangely enough, I consistently come out as an introvert in the Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment.  This surprises all my friends.  It surprises me, too.  I like people, and I like to talk.

On the other hand, I like people in small doses.  And I only like to talk after several hours of silence, very early in the morning.  I’m writing this post at 5:00 a.m.  Reading and writing, like talking, are aspects of communication.  However, reading and writing are also solitary, quiet activities.

But the life apart needs to be in balance with the life impart.  What I gain in the silence, I need to share with others.  One way that I do that is by teaching.  Another way is by writing for my Down to Earth Believer website.

I am not the only one who has things to impart.  Everyone does.  A lot of people think that their insights and stories would be of no interest to anyone.  They are dead wrong.  Little children who can barely talk can make the most interesting comments in the world, and can ask the best questions in the world.  So can the very old.  So can everyone in between.  Your story is unique to you.  It can also help countless others in the world—if you impart it.

This life apart and impart involves a daily routine for me.  I need balance.  And although I strive for that balance, I rarely feel that I have achieved it.

When I was about nine or so, I watched a lot of shows on TV that involved circuses.  (Yes, that was a thing a very long time ago.)  So, I decided to become a tightrope walker.  When my dad wasn’t around, I started walking on our wooden fence, south of our house.  However, I pretty swiftly discovered that balance isn’t as easy as it seems.  I fell . . . a lot.  One day, I got off balance and came down hard straddling the wooden fence.  That was the end of my tightrope career.

In a sense, we are all tightrope walkers, and balance isn’t easy in any area of life.  For example, sometimes, I talk too much.  I’ve known this for a very long time.  I need to respect my own self by practicing the fine art of silence more often.  Listening attentively and deeply to another person is also a form of communication.

But I will continue to need these quiet alone times as well.  While solitary confinement is one of the worst forms of torture known to humankind, continual interaction with people is not far behind it, as a means of torture.

Balance is exceedingly important.  It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about tightrope walking or life itself.

God, please help me to balance my apart and my impart today.

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Too Many Words

On June 2, 2016 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“I have often regretted speech, never my silence” (Publilius Syrus, Maxim 1070).

My wife thinks that I use too many words.  She’s right.

Let me say more about that!

I have always been fascinated by words.  I was that strange kid who cried in first grade when he had to give up his reading workbook at the end of the school year.  (No, I am not kidding!)

That is strike one.

Also, I am blessed (??) with Attention Deficit Disorder, so I struggle to remember what I just said.  (Did I mention that I have Attention Deficit Disorder?)

Steeerike 2!

Furthermore, I am profoundly mistrustful about my own communication skills.  I don’t doubt that you are capable of understanding plain English—although it isn’t always so plain, is it?  What I am wondering is whether or not what I just said was plain English.  So, I keep trying to communicate clearly.

Strike 3!  I’m out!

However, the Scripture is even more direct than my kind and patient wife is.

“Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God. For God is in heaven and you are on the earth; therefore let your words be few” (Ecclesiastes 5:2).

Jesus said, “But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment” (Matthew 12:36).

James seems to link talking too much with anger—a linkage which makes me really angry!

“This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20).

So, I really need to work on improving my “T.Q” (Terse Quotient).  But how to do I go about working on this?

For one thing, I can realize and confess that if the Bible teaches or commands something, it is not likely impossible.  What is important to God may be difficult.  In fact, it often is.  However, it is rarely impossible.

Second, I can change my attitude toward words.  Yes, I am fascinated by words.  However, that doesn’t automatically mean that I have to use them as much as I do.  What is loved can still be used sparingly.  “Don’t talk so much. You keep putting your foot in your mouth. Be sensible and turn off the flow!” (Proverbs 10:19, The Living Bible).

Third, I can begin thinking a little more highly of my communication skills.  I was talking on the phone this morning with a friend.  We encourage and hold one another accountable.  He prayed for me over the phone, and said something to the effect that I was wise in what I said, and a good listener.  My friend is no fool.  He is a wise speaker and a good listener as well.  I need to start listening to wise friends (including my wife), and become an even better listener by turning off the flow of words.

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