Posts Tagged: self-discipline
“Self-Discipline: The Good, the Bad, and the Very Very Ugly”
“22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; . . . .” (Galatians 5:22-23, English Standard Version)
Usually, I think of self-discipline as a good thing. However, in a recent twelve-step meeting, a couple of people pointed out that it ain’t necessarily so.
One of my fellow-addicts said that, for him, a rigid self-discipline and a tight schedule were ways of avoiding reality. And (of course) all that addicts ever want out of reality is out—out of reality, that is. Another twelve-stepper commented that acquiring self-discipline is, in a sense, part of the problem. What we really need to acquire is humility.
It is true that sometimes people use self-control in unhealthy ways. They can use their own self-control to manipulate and control others. (“I am losing weight. Why aren’t you?”) Also, people can use self-control in one area—or even in many areas—of their life to justify being out of control in another. (“Sure, I drink too much, but I always show up for work on time.”) I’m sure that there are other ways of misusing self-control. There are always many ways of turning our virtues into vices. Humans are quite adept at this.
This doesn’t mean that self-control is inherently a bad thing. It does mean that self-control can be used in misguided ways. Perhaps this is why, in Paul’s list of the fruit of the Spirit in his letter to the Galatian Christ-followers, Paul mentions self-control last. Maybe it is only as we cultivate love (which leads off the list) and all the other virtues in the list that self-control assumes its proper role in our lives.
“SPELLS: DON’T SETTLE FOR THE ORDINARY!”
I was sending my report and affirmation to my sponsor this morning. Here is my affirmation:
“Today, by God’s grace, I am taking good care of myself. This way, I will honor God and act caringly toward others.”
The word “caringly” was flagged on my spell checker. I thought this was the correct way to spell it, but figured that I had better check. So, I googled “spell caringly.”
Here is the first hit that appeared on my screen.
“Magic Spells for 2018 – Spells for Any & Every Need
Don’t Settle for the Ordinary: Order a Spell & Change Your Life. So Fast & Easy!
Service catalog: Love/Relationship Spells, Money Spells, Luck Spells
Absolutely guaranteed, or your money back!”
I was not prepared for that!
I rather liked the advertisement, although I did not go to the site. I liked the advert for a very simple reason: It encapsulates precisely what I would like to believe.
I would like to believe that there are simple and easy solutions to complex problems.
I would like to believe that, if I simply say the right things in the right order, accompanied by the right rituals, everything will go my way.
I really want to believe this! However, it is really difficult to make yourself believe something you don’t, even when you want to.
Well, no, on second thought, it’s not really that difficult to make myself believe in the fast and easy way. In fact, I do it all the time.
I want muscles without workouts, character without self-discipline, and good relationships without commitment. I want to be good at everything I do, without doing anything to actually become better.
And, of course, I want a money-back guarantee for everything—including life itself. I don’t need to go to a website to desire “fast and easy.” I am already there.
It’s not just me. As a society, we are addicted to speed, perhaps not the drug speed, but getting things quickly for sure. We are a microwave-loving people.
What is the remedy? I don’t know. But I do know this: There is no fast and easy solution to wanting fast and easy solutions.
Christians, above all, shouldn’t fall for fast-and-easy solutions, but often we do. We turn the cross of Christ into a fast and easy solution to our sin and guilt—past, present, and future. We fall into the trap of what Dietrich Bonhoeffer called “cheap grace.” We forget that Jesus not only bore the cross himself. He also called us to do so. “Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me’” (Luke 9:23, NIV).
It’s that “daily” part that usually gets me. I don’t want to take the slow and painful way, the cross, daily. I want to take it when I get around to it. But the truth is that I can either bear the cross now, today, or I can procrastinate until something fast and easy comes along. It won’t.
My choice! Yours too! But I really don’t want to “. . . settle for the ordinary”. Do you?
GRACE AND DISCIPLINE
“GRACE AND DISCIPLINE”
Most mornings, I begin my day with an e mail report or a phone call to my 12-step sponsor. He has encouraged me to include a personal affirmation, and I’ve been doing that most days for some time now.
Here is our e mail exchange this morning.
“Dear Sponsor,
No violations.
AFFIRMATION: Today, by God’s grace, I will not be timid, fighting off my back foot. I will be aggressive when it comes to living a good, holy, loving life.
I hope that you have a wonderful day.
Me”
My sponsor replied to my report and affirmation as follows:
“I hope ‘fighting’ is minimal and enjoyment maximum.”
I replied to his reply as follows:
“Dear Sponsor,
The battle to live an enjoyable life is mostly (for me, at least) a battle to live a disciplined and graced life. When I live as a person who knows that he has received huge grace from God and many people, and when I live a disciplined life, joy is a natural fruit of that way of living.
Me”
I’ve noticed that people who live a disciplined life are not necessarily happy people. They often are like one definition of perfectionists: “Perfectionists are people who take great pains, and give them to others.” Some people turn self-discipline into rigor—or even, into rigor mortis!
I’ve also noticed that people who are very well aware of grace are not always happy people. If they lack discipline, they always have at least a vague awareness that they are not living up to grace. They have a sneaking feeling that they are somehow betraying the grace they have been given. This is because that is what they are doing.
I have been (and am still, sometimes) both kinds of people. I have abused both grace and discipline.
Nowadays, I’m trying to recognize them as twin companions on my journey. They are both important. No, that’s not right. They are both essential!
In a little-known passage in a not-generally-popular book of the New Testament, the Apostle Paul points out in a wonderful way how grace and self-discipline go together. Apparently, Grace runs a school of self-discipline. I close with these verses from Titus 2:11-14:
“11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men,
12 instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age,
13 looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus,
14 who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.”
DTEB
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
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