Posts Tagged: regret as atheisim
“No Regrets!”
“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been.’” (John Greenleaf Whittier)
Today, I wrote the following in my journal, right after listing 50 items on my gratitude list:
“Today, God, no regrets! Just praise, humility, obedience and gratitude!”
Like virtually every other human being who has lived more than four years, I have regrets. In fact, I probably have more than the average member of my species. Regret for the things I’ve done and the things I haven’t, regret for the people I’ve harmed, regret for not living out my own principles.
But these days, while not minimizing my screw-ups, I try to not wallow in regret. While I have regrets, I try not to let the regrets have me. The truth is this: Regrets have no beneficial effects, and many harmful ones.
How are regrets harmful? Let me count the ways!
First, they can’t change what happened or what I did. The past is a pretty stubborn critter. I may reframe it or look at it differently, but the picture itself is not going to change. I can learn from it, but I can’t teach it a single thing. In terms of the Serenity Prayer, the past is one of the things I cannot change. Therefore, I need God to “. . . grant me the serenity to accept the (past) things I cannot change . . . .”
Second, regrets harm my ability to move on, to grow, to become a better person. What gets my focus gets me. If I am focusing on the past, I am very likely to go back to the past. In any case, as long as I am filled with regrets, I am refusing to live in the present. And, the last time I checked, the present was the only time when I could live. To live in the past is to die before my time. I am a walking dead man when I regret my past.
Third (and related to the first two harmful effect of regret), regrets are an insidious form of self-deception. When I regret, I am pretending that I am taking my past seriously. I am not. I am trying to substitute feeling bad for doing what is good in the here and now. Allowing regrets to dominate me compromises the very positive qualities that I listed in my journal: “praise, humility, obedience and gratitude!”
Fourth, when I indulge in regrets, I am harming others. How so? When I am filled with regrets, I am not really available to those around me. And those around me need me. I am focused on myself, when I regret my past. Regretting my past is trying to drive a car, while steadfastly looking in the rearview mirror. It is just a matter of time before I rear-end the car in front of me or run over a pedestrian.
Finally, regret is a form of atheism. I am pretending that I am a competent judge of myself. I am also pretending that my past attitudes, actions, thoughts, and words are too bad to be forgiven. As a Christian, this is a form of heresy, bordering on a denial of the very existence and goodness of God. Living even on the border of atheism is a dangerous place to live.
So, just for today, no regrets. No looking back. No beating myself up. Just living well. Just awareness. Just love.
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
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- “The Process in Miracles and the Miracle of Process” March 11, 2024“2 Kings 5:1 Naaman, commander of the army of the king of Syria, was a great man with his master and in high favor, because by him the LORD had given victory to Syria. He was a mighty man of valor, but he was a leper. 2 Now the Syrians on one of their raids […]
- “The Power of Encouragement—Even for Old People” March 10, 2024“But encourage each other every day while it is ‘today.’ Help each other so none of you will become hardened because sin has tricked you.” (Hebrews 3:13, New Century Version) Yesterday, I was walking at a nearby park. There was a large group of young people some of whom were running while other young people […]
- “Endurance” March 10, 2024“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.” (Hebrews 10:36, English Standard Version) “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us […]
- “The Limits of Non-Judgmentalism” February 24, 2024“Matt. 7:1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. Matt. 7:2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2, English Standard Version) This morning, in my virtual 12-step meeting, we discussed the topic of judgmentalism. There were many wise […]
- “Delighting in Being Told What to Do?!?” February 23, 2024“Psa. 112:1 Praise the LORD! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commandments! 2 His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. 3 Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures […]
- “Character is the Real Lesson” January 19, 2024I am often confused about what lesson I’m really supposed to be learning. For example, this morning I was trying to knock out several Spanish lessons. My intentions were a lot better than my internet connection. I’ve done three lessons. Or rather, I’ve done two lessons. One of them I did twice because the internet […]
- “The Year of Becoming Un-Planked” January 1, 2024Each year, I try to come up with one word or a short phrase for what I intend to work on in the upcoming year. 2024 is “The Year of Becoming Un-Planked”. What?!! What does that even mean? So glad that you asked! Jesus said to his disciples, “Why do you look at the speck […]
- “Searching for the Noble One” December 26, 2023My wife and I were reading Luke, chapter 2 on Christmas Day. Luke 2 talks about the shepherds being told to look for this very special child—in fact, this King—in a stable. I prefer the word “barn”. I grew up on a farm. I know what a barn is. A stable is entirely too biblical […]
- “That Don’t Impress God Much” December 14, 2023DTEB, “That Don’t Impress God Much” “That Don’t Impress Me Much” (Song by Robert John Lange and Shania Twain) Micah 6:8 (MSG) “But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be […]
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