Posts Tagged: projection

“The Year of Becoming Un-Planked”

On January 1, 2024 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Each year, I try to come up with one word or a short phrase for what I intend to work on in the upcoming year. 2024 is “The Year of Becoming Un-Planked”.

What?!! What does that even mean? So glad that you asked!

Jesus said to his disciples, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5, New International Version)

I have spent my life trying to help others get the speck out of their eyes. My heart may have been in the right place, but my focus was not. I should have been trying to get the planks out of my own eyes. Then, I would have been much more helpful to others who really do need help. After all, even a speck in the eye is a seriously painful problem.

But first, the planks in my own eye! And how do I know what they are? My own planks are my blind spots. How can I even figure out what they are?

Psychologists might talk about projection as a means of determining my plankish blind spots. Projection is the tendency for me to identify and critique the bad qualities of others which I think I see in them, but which are definitely in me. So, whenever I see (or think I see) a speck in someone else’s eye, I need to hit the plank alarm and consider myself.

Another way to identify planks is to ask other people. I don’t always have the courage to do that, but when I do, the rewards can be astonishing. I need to ask my wife and good friends about my planks. Then, I need to shut up and listen.

And then, there is God. Prayer is not just asking God for what I want. It is also asking God about the planks in my eyes.

Sounds like a pretty dreary 2024 doesn’t it? But then again, perhaps the really dreary thing is to have planks in the eyes and not know it. If a speck in the eye is seriously painful, how much more a plank!

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“ON OPENING MY EYES WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THEM CLOSED (AND SEEING ANOTHER KID WITH HIS EYES OPEN)”

On November 9, 2017 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“Judge not!” (Matthew 7:1)

“ ‘Jesus’ instructions with regard to judging others is very simply put; He says, “Don’t.’ ” (Oswald Chambers)

 

I was probably about five- or six-years old when I noticed that another boy in my Sunday School class had not closed his eyes when the teacher told us that we should all close our eyes and pray.

I, of course, knew that I had to inform the teacher of this infraction.  (Hey!  Someone has to keep law and order, and hold back the chaos!)  The teacher thanked me, and went on with the class.  I’m not sure if she had to suppress irritation or a laugh.  Maybe both.

Since then, I have become much better at trying to disguise my judgmentalism.  I wish I were better from it, but I can’t honestly say that.  No, I am better at trying to disguise my judgmentalism.

Take driving, for example.  I hate it when people weave in and out of traffic.  It keeps me from effectively weaving in and out of traffic.

My wife is a really good woman, and my best friend.  However, every once in a very great while, she forgets to turn off a light when she leaves a room, and I feel a deep-seated need to point that out—despite the fact that my dad used to do that, and I swore I would never do that.

However, I sometimes forget to turn off one or more lights when I leave a room.  That is, of course, an entirely different matter.

And then there are the big things that I judge other people for.  There are also the similar, but even bigger, things that I (the judge) have done.

So, what can I do to grow past my young, judgmental, tattle-tale-ish self?

Well, for one thing, I can try to pay attention.  When am I feeling judgmental and/or thinking judgmental thoughts?  Awareness is not growth or holiness or compassion, but it can be a prelude to those good things.

I can ask myself a simple, but uncomfortable, question: In what way or ways is my behavior similar to what I am judging in the other person?  Often the things we are most irritated with in other people are precisely the things that we are struggling with in ourselves.  Or, more often perhaps, they are precisely the things that we are not struggling with in ourselves.

The truth is that judging other people is one of my favorite sports.  However, it doesn’t burn very many calories, nor does it tone up any muscles.  In fact, judging doesn’t do anything good at all.  It doesn’t help me or the person I’m judging.  It doesn’t glorify God.

Are there times when a person needs to be confronted about what they are doing?  Yes!  However, if I have my rebuker in overdrive, the problem is mine, and not the other person’s problem.

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