Posts Tagged: loving
“The Lover Is the Main Thing”
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:7-8, English Standard Version)
Unwelcome revelations about myself frequently come knocking on my mind’s door. One arrived yesterday. I realized that I love our little dog more than I used to love my children. I tend to be a very self-critical person. I am used to being that way. But this revelation is very dismal indeed.
Now, don’t get me wrong. There was nothing wrong with my children. And our dog is nothing special—except, of course, to us. No, it isn’t the dog’s fault that I love her more, nor is it my children’s fault. There was something terribly wrong with me. In my younger days, I was simply incapable of loving as I should have loved.
I suppose there were any number of reasons: fear, short-sightedness, the desire for immediate gratification. (By the way, why do they call it “gratification”? It’s not really all that gratifying.) Reasons, yes, perhaps, but no excuses and no justifications.
In fairness to myself and the truth, I did love my children. I loved them as well as I could . . . at the time. However, it was so inadequate.
This is a very non-uplifting post, is it? It is hard to read, isn’t it? It is difficult for me to write. But here, we turn a corner as readers and as writer. And a glorious corner it is!
As I was thinking these dreary thoughts and feeling down about my fathering, I suddenly was struck by the insight that it isn’t the beloved who determines the love of the lover; it is the lover who determines that. And then, my mind turned toward God’s love, and I was flooded with light.
God does not love me because I am lovable. God loves me because God is love. God can and does love me perfectly, not because I am perfect or lovable or perfectly lovable. No! God loves me perfectly because God is The Perfect Lover. It is entirely about God, not at all about me. And because it is all about God and not me, it is also about me.
All my life I have been trying to make myself more lovable. Hasn’t worked. Never will. But that isn’t the issue. What I need to do is to choose to let myself be loved, whether I’m lovable or not.
Then, and only then, there is the difficult and exhilarating work of becoming more loving myself. I am in the process of learning how to love. I would say that I am in about the third grade in this school of love, but I’m making progress. One of my best teachers is my little dog.
“When it is a Sad Anniversary”
Today is a sad anniversary for me. Someone I love a great deal took his own life on this day.
He was a good guy in many ways, just confused. And like all survivors of suicide, I tend to blame myself.
However, it is important, even in the sad times (perhaps, most of all during the sad times) to remember the good qualities of someone. This young person was funny, and loving, and wise beyond his years. There are good memories, as well as the huge hole in my heart.
“Love is as strong as death,” says the Song of Songs, chapter 8, verse 6. The Apostle Paul takes it even further. The greatest thing in the world is love, and it will last (1 Corinthians 13:13). In 13:8, Paul says, “Love never fails.”
Really? Even when it seems to have failed completely?
Yes! Even then!
So, I go on loving. Why let the grave stop me? It didn’t stop Jesus!
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- “Even a Sliver of Light” April 9, 2024“For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” (2 Corinthians 5:6, English Standard Version) I missed the total eclipse yesterday. There were a number of good reasons for this, but […]
- “The Process in Miracles and the Miracle of Process” March 11, 2024“2 Kings 5:1 Naaman, commander of the army of the king of Syria, was a great man with his master and in high favor, because by him the LORD had given victory to Syria. He was a mighty man of valor, but he was a leper. 2 Now the Syrians on one of their raids […]
- “The Power of Encouragement—Even for Old People” March 10, 2024“But encourage each other every day while it is ‘today.’ Help each other so none of you will become hardened because sin has tricked you.” (Hebrews 3:13, New Century Version) Yesterday, I was walking at a nearby park. There was a large group of young people some of whom were running while other young people […]
- “Endurance” March 10, 2024“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.” (Hebrews 10:36, English Standard Version) “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us […]
- “The Limits of Non-Judgmentalism” February 24, 2024“Matt. 7:1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. Matt. 7:2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2, English Standard Version) This morning, in my virtual 12-step meeting, we discussed the topic of judgmentalism. There were many wise […]
- “Delighting in Being Told What to Do?!?” February 23, 2024“Psa. 112:1 Praise the LORD! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commandments! 2 His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. 3 Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures […]
- “Character is the Real Lesson” January 19, 2024I am often confused about what lesson I’m really supposed to be learning. For example, this morning I was trying to knock out several Spanish lessons. My intentions were a lot better than my internet connection. I’ve done three lessons. Or rather, I’ve done two lessons. One of them I did twice because the internet […]
- “The Year of Becoming Un-Planked” January 1, 2024Each year, I try to come up with one word or a short phrase for what I intend to work on in the upcoming year. 2024 is “The Year of Becoming Un-Planked”. What?!! What does that even mean? So glad that you asked! Jesus said to his disciples, “Why do you look at the speck […]
- “Searching for the Noble One” December 26, 2023My wife and I were reading Luke, chapter 2 on Christmas Day. Luke 2 talks about the shepherds being told to look for this very special child—in fact, this King—in a stable. I prefer the word “barn”. I grew up on a farm. I know what a barn is. A stable is entirely too biblical […]
- “That Don’t Impress God Much” December 14, 2023DTEB, “That Don’t Impress God Much” “That Don’t Impress Me Much” (Song by Robert John Lange and Shania Twain) Micah 6:8 (MSG) “But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be […]
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