Posts Tagged: Are feelings as bad as what they can lead to?

“Of Irritability and Pearl Production”

On May 24, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

A friend of mine today wrote that he felt “. . . restless, irritable, and discontent, which is just as bad because I know where it leads . . . .”

I responded to him that it is wise to be concerned about feelings that can (and often do) lead us down a destructive path. However, no, I do not think that these feelings are “just as bad” as what those feelings might lead to. Thinking that feelings of restlessness, irritability, and discontent are just as bad as the actions that they can lead to has several problems.

1. When I take this approach, I frequently say to myself, “Oh, what the heck! Since these feelings are just as bad as actually doing things, I might as well just give into those feelings and act on them!” And actions that are based on such feelings rarely make things (or me or other people) better.

2. Everybody that I have ever known very well admits to these kinds of uncomfortable feelings. However, many of them did not act on their crazy or uncomfortable feelings. It seemed to me that, despite those feelings, they were about as well-adjusted as any members of our species ever are. Why? Because they did not act on these feelings. Feelings and actions are not the same thing.

3. I think that approaching such feelings as restlessness, irritability, and discontent with a “they-are-just-as-bad-as-acting-on-those-feelings” attitude can sometimes prevent us from considering and changing some things about ourselves that deserve consideration and need changing. Feelings of all kinds are friends who deserve our attention. If I ask myself why I am feeling irritable and what healthy things I can do to deal with it, that feeling of irritability can lead to positive change and growth, rather than to acting out and misery.

I also reminded my friend that pearls come from irritation. Apparently, oysters only secrete the substance that becomes a pearl when they ingest a stone or peace of sand that is irritating them. They create beauty to shield them from the irritant. Oysters know how to make good use of irritations. Perhaps you and I might learn something from the oysters.

And then, I concluded my email reply by saying, “I hope that my words have not irritated you. . . . Oh, on second thought . . . !”

I have had several irritations today. I hope I’m slowly making a pearl. I’ve also helped several people (especially my wife) with their pearl production. I don’t try to be a pearl-maker, but sometimes I may inadvertently help a little.

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