OF PARASAILING, GOD’S VIEW OF THINGS, AND THE DUBIOUS GIFT OF FREE WILL”
Sometimes I like to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity. I forget that God is God, and I am not. I doubt that I am entirely alone in this regard.
Take a recent morning while my wife and I were on vacation. I was thinking about the fact that there was so much bad news in our world, and said to my wife, “I know that God knows what God is doing, but I doubt it when it comes to giving us free will. All we seem to do with free will is to harm ourselves and others.”
My wife said nothing. She has learned not to get my way when I’m busy being a heretic.
A couple of hours later, I was rising into the air in my first parasailing experience. I wasn’t scared; I was filled with delight. It is one thing to see the ocean and clouds and the sun from the ground. It is another to see them (and the beach) from above the waves. I felt as if I was seeing the island where we were visiting the way God sees it.
And then, I felt God speaking to my mind. “So, child, if I had not given humans free will, no one would ever have developed parasailing, and you could not have chosen to go parasailing on this lovely day.”
I did not sense God’s displeasure when I felt that God said this to me. If anything, there was amusement. But I was properly brought up short.
I am reminded of something my dad used to say: “There’s nothing wrong with the world; it’s just the people in it.” So, here is my take on this: “There’s nothing wrong with free will; it’s just people’s use of their free will that’s the problem.”
So, my job is not to critique God’s gifts, but to make good use of them—including the use of free will.
“THE MINISTRY OF NOTICING”
Friday, January 26, 2018
I stopped in the middle of yesterday’s gratitude list. My gratitude list was, in many ways a reflection of my day: truncated and inadequate.
Well, that is not quite the truth: It wasn’t the day that was truncated and inadequate. I was the one who felt truncated and inadequate. There wasn’t a single thing wrong with the day itself.
I’ve had a bunch of days this week in which I have felt very inadequate. I’m not getting much done of what I set out to do in the day. Why is this? I seemed to be doing pretty well earlier in the month. Lazy? Tired? Who knows?!
However, our puppy is curled up in my lap drowsing, and I’m listening to smooth instrumental jazz on AccuRadio. Perhaps that is what I am called by God to do right now. The sun is up after a lovely rising. I wasn’t too preoccupied to notice. Perhaps “accomplishing things” is overrated. Perhaps there is such a thing as the ministry of noticing.
. . .
And then a good friend called, and we had a good chat. I always feel saner after a conversation with him. I think that I am saner after I talk to him!
Checking my little thises and thats off my to-be-and-to-do list may not always be the way to go. A list may be a good servant, but it makes a lousy master. Perhaps I ought to remember that.
So, my main goal for today is to practice the fine art of noticing. I will notice my wife, my dog, my house, my external environment. I will notice when I’m hungry, and the texture and taste of food. I will notice when I need to take a break, which is right now.
“ON WRITING MY FUTURE SELF NOTES”
I have begun writing my future self notes. I am doing this because a good friend read somewhere that it was a good idea. He tried it, and found it helpful. So, I said to my (present) self, “Hey! If it worked for him, it might work for me!”
Guess what: It does!
I wrote my 9:30 a.m. self a note to congratulate it on my 9:00 a.m. self not eating all of a very tasty treat that my wife served me. Sure enough, I ate half of what my wife gave me, and a quarter of what I wanted.
I suppose we all want to go back and change certain things about our past. Of course, we all also know that we can’t. But what about the future? Perhaps that’s enough to change.
There are times when you can’t conveniently write yourself a literal note. However, you can write a mental note. (If you can make a mental note, you can also write a mental note.) Already today, I wrote my future self a mental note. I was working out at Planet Fitness. They have Tootsie Rolls on the counter, and you can take some as you walk out—or as you walk in, if you would like. I wrote myself a mental note, telling my future self that I would be proud of myself if I didn’t do the Tootsie Roll thing today. Again, it worked!
Perhaps you would like to join me in this practice. If so, be sure to write to your future self in a positive way. Actually, come to think of it, I am writing these notes from my future self, rather than to him. But, in any case, keep your notes positive and encouraging. Make it the kind of note that you would like to receive from someone else, or give to someone else.
Dear 2:30 p.m. Self,
Congratulations on posting on your blog today. Well done!
Warm Regards,
Your (now) Past Self
“NOTHING TO IMPRESS”
I’m learning a lot from our puppy.
I was looking at her this morning while I was making my breakfast. She was in her new bed, contentedly chewing a hole in it. I just felt such love for her, and I said, “You know, little dog, I’m just glad that you’re in the world. You don’t need to do a thing to impress me.”
And immediately, I felt that God was saying to me—to me, “You know, my child, I’m just glad that you’re in the world. You don’t need to do a thing to impress me.”
Ever since I was very little, I’ve felt that I needed to justify my existence on this planet. I’ve felt that I needed to impress. Probably many people think that this stems from an inflated sense of self-importance. They couldn’t be more wrong!
I was the youngest of five children, born very late in the life of my parents, an accident. To their great credit, they never made me feel like an accident. Nevertheless, that is how I felt.
I grew up in the country, fairly poor. In our little area, there were the “town kids” and the “country kids.” You’ll find this difficult to believe, but the town kids tended to look down on the country kids. Again, I needed to justify my existence.
Well, that’s two strikes against me. The third was that I was fairly smart. “Isn’t that a good thing?” I hear you ask. No, it isn’t.
Strike three, and you’re out!
So, most of my life has boiled down to one of two responses. Either I have wasted a lot of time trying to impress, or I have wasted a lot of time trying to immediately feel better when my attempts to impress failed.
Then, along comes our puppy (and our God) who both gently nuzzle me into being a little more gentle and accepting of myself. I don’t need to justify my existence; I don’t need to impress anyone, not even God. God not only loves me; God likes me.
I’m learning a lot from our puppy.
“WHAT TO DO WHEN I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO”
“If you’ve got more than you can do in a normal work day, you’ve got more than God gave you to do.” (Source unknown)
Years ago, I participated in a 50-Day Spiritual Adventure that was titled “What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do.” It was a catchy title and a good, helpful program.
However, I now need a different program. I am titling this adventure “What to do When I Have Too Much to Do.”
I recently posted about “being in over my head.” One aspect of this is having too much to do. There is a lot I can do when I feel like this. Unfortunately, most of it is unhelpful. Let me list some of the things that I’ve found that don’t work:
- Complaining. (I hope this post is not simple complaining on line, but I am not so sure.)
- Being cranky with God, my wife, and the universe.
- Trying to do everything on my to-do list.
- Eating a bunch of sweets and junk food.
- Saying, “Oh, the heck with it all! I think I’ll play word games on line!”
I’m sure there are a few other things I’ve proven to myself don’t work, but those are some of my go-to items that I’ve proven, time and time again, do not work. (Of course, a voice whispers in my ear, “Oh, this time it will be different.” The voice sounds suspiciously like my own voice.)
So, the question is this: What does work?
I don’t know, but I am being stalked by some potential answers. I think I’ll quit running and allow those answers to catch up with me.
- Doing triage might help. Are there some things I can let go? Are there some things I really should let go? Then why not let them go?!? The pretense that I can do everything often keeps me from doing the best things. Sometimes, the pretense that I can do everything keeps me from doing anything.
- I can pray the right kind of prayer. Prayer isn’t enough. The phrase that matters the most in the preceding sentence is “the right kind of prayer.” Sometimes, my prayer basically boils down to this: “God, please help me to do what I’ve already decided I need/want to do.” A better prayer might sound like this: “God, please help me to do what you want me to do.” Similar wording, but a very different focus.
- I can change my to-do list into a might-do list. The world will not stop spinning if I do not get everything on my list done today. Even my own little world may not be seriously compromised by failure to check off every box.
- Finally, I can simply start doing the work at hand, and see what happens. Who knows? If I put one foot in front of the other today (and keep putting one foot in front of the other), I may find that I get to the end of the day with a sense of satisfaction, instead of a sense (??) of frustration.
“NOT THE WHOLE TRUTH”
“There was a young Hebrew man with us in the prison who was a slave of the captain of the guard. We told him our dreams, and he told us what each of our dreams meant.” (Genesis 41:12, bolding mine)
The following verse occurs in the Joseph Narrative in Genesis in the Bible. Joseph is a rags-to-riches story. In it, Joseph who is a young son to an old man who favors him over his brothers, moves from being a rather arrogant tattle-tale, to being second-in-command of the most powerful empire of the ancient world—Egypt. The prelude to Joseph’s elevation is anything but promising. He is sold into slavery in Egypt, and accused of attempted rape by his master’s wife. (She was actually trying to seduce him, but he refused. There are some men with integrity. Not many, perhaps, but some.)
In prison, Joseph became a prison trustee. As such, he seems to have really cared about his fellow prisoners. When he saw two of them, the baker and the cupbearer, looking especially gloomy one morning, he asked them why. It seems that they had both had disturbing dreams the night before. Joseph had correctly interpreted the dreams.
Fast forward two years, assuming that you can actually “fast forward” in prison. Joseph is still in prison. Pharaoh has two disturbing dreams in one night, and none of the magicians and diviners in Egypt know quite what to make of the dreams. Pharaoh calls for his cupbearer to bring him some wine—probably to settle his nerves. The cupbearer remembered Joseph, and speaks of the dream interpreter he had met in prison.
I’ve read this story many times. I thought I knew it pretty well. However, I noticed something different this time. It is about how the cupbearer described Joseph to Pharaoh.
“There was a young Hebrew man with us in the prison who was a slave of the captain of the guard. We told him our dreams, and he told us what each of our dreams meant.” (Genesis 41:12, bolding mine)
The cupbearer does not refer to Joseph as his fellow-prisoner, but as “a slave of the captain of the guard.” The description of the cupbearer might easily be interpreted as meaning that Joseph was not in prison, but rather was at the prison in his “official” capacity as “a servant/slave of the captain of the guard.”
Meier Sternberg has a wonderful title for a chapter in his book, The Poetics of Biblical Narrative. One chapter is entitled “Between the Truth and the Whole Truth.”[1] It would seem that the cupbearer was speaking the truth, but not (perhaps) the whole truth about Joseph.
While we don’t know precisely why the cupbearer described Joseph in this manner, we are told that he did so. This provokes questions that probably have no answers. Was the cupbearer thinking that Pharaoh might be more likely to listen to the servant/slave of the captain of the guard, than he would to a garden-variety prisoner?
Or did the cupbearer not think of Joseph as a prisoner, but as the servant/slave of the captain of the guard? In the ancient world, to be a slave of a person in a high position was, by its very nature, to have an important status.
I wonder how Joseph thought of himself? Did he think of himself as a prisoner, or as something more?
The scriptural text does not tell us, but being brought to a sudden halt by these questions was good for me. These thoughts invited me to think about how I think about and speak of other people. Do I think of them in terms of their weaknesses or their strengths? Do I think of what they can do, or what they can’t do?
And, of course, there is the question of how I think of myself. How do I think of and speak about myself. Am I “just a . . . .”? Or do I say, “I am a . . . !”? Do I recognize that I am and everyone else is, at least, potentially, a servant/slave of the King of kings?
[1] Meir Sternberg, The Poetics of Biblical Narrative (Bloomington, Indiana: Indiana University, 1985), 230-263.
“IN OVER MY HEAD”
Do you ever feel like you’re in over your head? “All the time,” you say?
Me too—especially right now!
Of course I feel overwhelmed most of the time, so the phrase “especially right now” should probably be deleted. However, I’ll let it stand. I’ve lived an overwhelmed life.
Teaching a fairly large group of people at the university, trying to help out more at Bob Evans, trying to be a good house husband, especially in light of the fact that my sweetheart is caring for her mom two days a week, teaching Hebrew, caring for the dog, trying to be helpful to my 12-step friends, trying to read the Bible all the way through this year, trying to work out more at the gym, trying to start a Celebrate Recovery program at our church: I am getting overwhelmed just listing stuff I should be doing. (Writing a blog post is one of my daily tasks, so I guess I am doing something after all.)
I suspect that I am not terminally unique in this regard. Some of you who made time to read this blog may be saying (and with good justification), “Would you like to trade lists? I think I like yours better!”
Well, I can’t help you much, if at all, with your list, and perhaps you can’t help me with mine. Probably, trading wouldn’t help either. However, what I can do is to think a bit differently about my own list. Who knows? This may also invite you to think differently about your own list.
So here are three suggestions that I am making to my own fevered soul. Perhaps they may be helpful to you as well.
Suggestion # 1: Do triage, and do the most important thing first. This is probably also the task that you find the most difficult to start, keep at, and finish. When I was little, I didn’t like green beans. Still don’t. So, whenever I am served them, I eat them first (except, of course, when I eat my dessert first).
This does not work well for everyone. Some folks find it best to do some smaller, more doable task first. This gives them enough of a sense of accomplishment to tackle the next task, and so on. Whatever works for you is what you should do.
Suggestion # 2: Give thanks for having too much to do. I tend to complain about having too much to do—or having what I at least think is too much to do. But what if I took the attitude that I get to do all this stuff?
I have heard that there is an old Tahitian proverb that says, “May you be banished to idleness!” I am told that this is the worst thing you can so to a Tahitian.
I had a friend who spent several years in prison. He said that it wasn’t really horrible—except for the boredom. Feeling overwhelmed in profoundly uncomfortable. Feeling underwhelmed is not easy either.
Suggestion # 3: Bear in mind that God may be giving you more to do than you can do in your strength, because God doesn’t want you to do things in your own strength. Trusting God is a daily task for me. Feeling overwhelmed keeps me humble and open to trusting the one who is never overwhelmed with anything. There’s a wonderful TobyMac song (“Beyond Me”) that makes precisely this point.
“Call it a reason to retreat
I got some dreams that are bigger than me
I might be outmatched outsized the underdog in the fight of my life
Is it so crazy to believe
That you gave me the stars put them out of my reach
Call me to waters a little to deep
Oh I’ve never been so aware of my need
You keep on making me see
It’s way beyond me
It’s way beyond me
Yeah it’s out of my league
It’s way beyond me
It’s way beyond me
It’s way beyond
Anything that I got the strength to do
In over my head keeps me countin’ on you
I’m leaving the sweet spot sure shot tradin’ it all for the plans you got
Is it so crazy to believe
That you gave me the stars put them out of my reach
Call me to waters a little to deep
Oh I’ve never been so aware of my need
You keep on making me see
It’s way beyond me
It’s way beyond me
Yeah it’s out of my league
It’s way beyond me
It’s way beyond me
You take me to the place where I know I need You
Straight to the depths that I can’t handle on my own
And Lord I know, I know I need You
So take me to Your great
Take me to Your great unknown
It’s way beyond me, way way beyond me
It’s it’s way beyond me, way way way beyond me
Yeah, You gave me the stars, put them out of my reach
Called me to waters just a little too deep
Oh, I’ve never been so aware of my need
Yeah, you keep on making me see
It’s way beyond me (it’s way beyond me)
It’s way beyond me (it’s way beyond me)
Yeah, it’s out of my league (it’s way beyond me)
It’s way beyond me (it’s way beyond me)
It’s way beyond me (it’s way beyond me)
It’s way beyond me
You take me to the place where I know I need You
Straight to the depths that I can’t handle on my own (it’s way beyond me)
You take me to the place where I know I need You
Oh take me to Your place
Take me to Your great unknown”
My affirmation to God for today is as follows:
“Today, by God’s grace, I am consistently doing the next right thing, so far as I can discern the next right thing. I am swimming in the deep water today. The Everlasting Arms of God are underneath me, teaching me to trust and swim.”
It’s a bit warmer today. Anybody care to join me for a swim? We’ll break the ice if we need to!
“Patience, the Gift You Give to Yourself”
Tuesday, January 9, 2018
“In your patience possess ye your souls.” (Luke 21:19, King James Version, italics mine)
“By your endurance you will gain your lives.” (Luke 21:19, New American Standard, 1995, italics mine)
It was a fairly rough evening at Bob Evans last night. It started out dead as a mortician’s embalming room. However, we got several large parties at about the same time. One lady (party of two?), wouldn’t even be seated after complaining about the slow service. (Confession: I hope that she had to wait even longer at another restaurant! I’m not proud of that thought, but there it is.)
It is difficult for me not to let the impatience of others flood my own heart, and mind, and soul. I need to be a less permeable dam. However, if I let an impatient person make me an impatient person, all you’ve got are two impatient people. And such impatience can and does spread faster than the flu. Soon, there will likely be a lot of impatient people. Probably, impatience is even deadlier than the flu.
Another way to look at this is to say that I need to avoid theft. Other people’s stuff is other people’s stuff. I wouldn’t think of stealing other people’s money or electronic devices. Why should I steal other people’s emotions? Why should I steal someone else’s impatience? I’ve never tried to fence anything stolen, but I suspect that I would not get much for my own impatience, much less for someone else’s. I wouldn’t even know who was the unscrupulous pawn broker who would deal in stolen emotions.
Patience is not simply a virtue. Patience is a wonderful gift I give myself.
“ACTION FIRST, WORD LATER”
“Anyone who wants to do the will of God will know whether my teaching is from God or is merely my own.” (John 7:17, New Living Translation, italics mine)
My wife is taking our dog to puppy lessons. Our dog doesn’t really need any lessons to be a puppy; she is already pretty good at that. Being a good puppy is another matter, at least at times.
My wife came home from the first lesson with all kinds of good ideas, which I was promptly told about. I’m not sure, but I suspect that my sweetheart is hoping that some of the suggestions may be transferrable to another species—particularly to a homo sapiens with whom my wife has to deal on a regular basis. I think that her suspicion is correct.
For example, one of the principles that the puppy training manual handout holds out is as follows: “Teaching your dog a reliable Sit is very important. . . .”
The instructions continue with,
“Don’t say ‘Sit’ yet. Your dog needs to master the action first. If you say the word before your dog understands the action, he’ll become immune to the word. When your dog sits every time you use the hand motion, you can add the word.”
Action first is a principle that I am still trying to master. I want to have a word for something I am supposed to be doing, before I do anything. Frequently, I get so interested in the word that I forget all about the action. The Book of James in the New Testament has a great deal to say to people like me.
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” (James 1:19-25 New Living Translation)
Someone has defined a committee as “a group of people talking about what they should be doing.” That is pretty good as a definition. It is even better as a wry comment. If you didn’t get the wry flavor on a first reading, try rereading the definition, with the emphasis on the word “should”!
I am also reminded of the old quip, “When all is said and done, there’s a lot more said than done.” Yes indeed!
Perhaps I should actually do something today. I’m not sure if posting a blog counts or not.
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