“LOVING TO DEATH AND BEYOND”
I often have some really inadequate, illogical beliefs regarding Heaven. For example, just now I was wondering if I would still love my wife in Heaven. I felt God saying to my heart,
“Do you think, child, that you will love your wife less in Heaven than you do now? What a bizarre idea! You will be always in the presence of infinite love in Heaven. How could you love your sweetheart less there and then, than you do here and now?”
Now, I am aware that someone—George MacDonald perhaps—once had a couple in one of his books make a rather different assumption about marriage after death. Two skeletons, one dressed as a man and the other dressed like a woman, arrived before a gate in a carriage pulled by skeleton horses. I forget precisely how the dialog went, but it was something like this: The woman skeleton said, “Well, we appear to have gotten into the next world. But which one?”
The man skeleton replied, “It must be hell, because marriage is in it.”
In the case of some marriages, I tend to agree. Not every match is made in Heaven. Some are made in hell. And, I suppose, marriages are actually made in neither Heaven nor in hell. Rather, they are made (and unmade) on earth.
However, that is not the subject of this post. No matter where marriages are made, I wonder how long they can last. Fifty years? Sixty years? My parents’ marriage lasted sixty-five years to the day, when my dad died.
But do they last beyond the grave? When I stand at the grave at my wife, or she stands at my grave, will we have to say, “Goodbye forever,” or will we be able to say, “See ya later alligator!”?
Jesus is not altogether reassuring at this point. He said that there would be no marriage in Heaven (Matthew 22:30).
But does that mean that we will not still love in Heaven those we loved on earth? I don’t think that is what he meant. Certainly, marriage as a physical, sexual consummation will not be in play in Heaven. In context, Jesus’ response was to the Sadducees’’ “test case” of a woman who was married to seven different brothers, all of whom had preceded her in death. Thus, Jesus is probably primarily saying that relationships that are very physical here (some more than others!) will not be physical in Heaven.
However, be that all as it may be, my job right now, today, is to love my sweetheart the very best that I can. Speculation about Heaven is not what I am called to do. In any case, if Heaven is a place of perfect love, it might be a good idea for me to rehearse a bit here and now.
“God Helps Those Who Help Themselves and Another Truth”
Here is my report and affirmation to my twelve-step sponsor this morning:
“Dear _____,
No violations.
Today, by God’s grace, I am taking good care of myself. This way, I will honor God and act caringly toward others.”
My sponsor replied to my report and affirmation as follows:
“Subject: Re: REPORT AND AFFIRMATION
As my mother used to say, ‘God helps those who help themselves’.”
I replied to my sponsor as follow:
“Dear _____,
Your mother was right! God does indeed help those who help themselves. That is one way of speaking about accountability.
But also, God helps those who can’t help themselves. That is a way of speaking of saving grace.
Without both of those truths in balance, we are all like a person who is trying to run a race on one leg. He or she may get to the finish line eventually, but it’s going to be slow and ugly.”
So, after the above email exchange this morning, I printed off, just now, the discussion and action questions for the community group that my wife and I lead. The pastoral team is preaching a series of sermons on “False News.” (Originally, the series was going to be “Fake News,” but they realized that this was rather offensive to the two or three of us at the church who are somewhat politically liberal, and decided on “False News” instead. Pretty catchy, eh?! But I do appreciate their sensitivity.)
And what is the “False News” for this week? “God helps those who help themselves.” I don’t think that this is a coincidence!
Often, things that are false have some element of truth in them. The problem is that, if those elements are not balanced by other elements, they become very destructive falsehoods. The fact that they have some truth makes them even more insidiously dangerous.
Nevertheless, “God helps those who help themselves,” encapsulates a wonderful truth. Human actions do matter.
But without the opposite truth, God helps the helpless, human actions are inherently ineffective, and even demonic.
And if you asked me which of the two sayings has more biblical warrant, my answer would be that God helps the helpless. Hands down, that is the emphasis. I don’t know if the speaker tomorrow will reference Romans 5:6-11, but he very well could. In any case, I will conclude this post with Paul’s words to Roman Christians from The Message Paraphrase, followed by a one-sentence comment of my own.
“6 Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway.
7 We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice.
8 But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.
9 Now that we are set right with God by means of this sacrificial death, the consummate blood sacrifice, there is no longer a question of being at odds with God in any way.
10 If, when we were at our worst, we were put on friendly terms with God by the sacrificial death of his Son, now that we’re at our best, just think of how our lives will expand and deepen by means of his resurrection life!
11 Now that we have actually received this amazing friendship with God, we are no longer content to simply say it in plodding prose. We sing and shout our praises to God through Jesus, the Messiah!”
We can help ourselves, at least in some measure, but only after God has helped us in Christ.
“SPELLS: DON’T SETTLE FOR THE ORDINARY!”
I was sending my report and affirmation to my sponsor this morning. Here is my affirmation:
“Today, by God’s grace, I am taking good care of myself. This way, I will honor God and act caringly toward others.”
The word “caringly” was flagged on my spell checker. I thought this was the correct way to spell it, but figured that I had better check. So, I googled “spell caringly.”
Here is the first hit that appeared on my screen.
“Magic Spells for 2018 – Spells for Any & Every Need
Don’t Settle for the Ordinary: Order a Spell & Change Your Life. So Fast & Easy!
Service catalog: Love/Relationship Spells, Money Spells, Luck Spells
Absolutely guaranteed, or your money back!”
I was not prepared for that!
I rather liked the advertisement, although I did not go to the site. I liked the advert for a very simple reason: It encapsulates precisely what I would like to believe.
I would like to believe that there are simple and easy solutions to complex problems.
I would like to believe that, if I simply say the right things in the right order, accompanied by the right rituals, everything will go my way.
I really want to believe this! However, it is really difficult to make yourself believe something you don’t, even when you want to.
Well, no, on second thought, it’s not really that difficult to make myself believe in the fast and easy way. In fact, I do it all the time.
I want muscles without workouts, character without self-discipline, and good relationships without commitment. I want to be good at everything I do, without doing anything to actually become better.
And, of course, I want a money-back guarantee for everything—including life itself. I don’t need to go to a website to desire “fast and easy.” I am already there.
It’s not just me. As a society, we are addicted to speed, perhaps not the drug speed, but getting things quickly for sure. We are a microwave-loving people.
What is the remedy? I don’t know. But I do know this: There is no fast and easy solution to wanting fast and easy solutions.
Christians, above all, shouldn’t fall for fast-and-easy solutions, but often we do. We turn the cross of Christ into a fast and easy solution to our sin and guilt—past, present, and future. We fall into the trap of what Dietrich Bonhoeffer called “cheap grace.” We forget that Jesus not only bore the cross himself. He also called us to do so. “Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me’” (Luke 9:23, NIV).
It’s that “daily” part that usually gets me. I don’t want to take the slow and painful way, the cross, daily. I want to take it when I get around to it. But the truth is that I can either bear the cross now, today, or I can procrastinate until something fast and easy comes along. It won’t.
My choice! Yours too! But I really don’t want to “. . . settle for the ordinary”. Do you?
“COURAGE IN LITTLE THINGS”
“6 Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. 7 Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success1 wherever you go. 8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:6-9)
The posts these days seem to be preoccupied with little things these days. That may be because I often feel little to the point of insignificance. Probably we all, even the most “successful” (whatever that means), feel that way a good bit of the time.
So, I was thinking about courage in little things this morning. I have never thought of myself as being particularly courageous, but maybe I’m ignoring courage in little things. Today, I sent my sponsor the following affirmation:
“Today, by God’s grace, I am living courageously in small things. If big courage is called for, I pray that I will meet the challenge. However, courage in little things will certainly be called for.”
I am not sure what “courage in little things” even means. Maybe that will unfold as the day goes on. Perhaps I will need to be on the lookout for chances to exercise courage.
I do know this much: All muscles—whether physical, emotional, mental or spiritual—are developed with exercise.
In the Scripture that led off this post, Joshua is being told that he is to lead the children of Israel into the promised land, a huge task. Worse yet, the former CEO of the company was Moses. How would you like to follow that act?! Did you notice that, in that brief quote, Joshua was repeatedly told to be courageous? Why so much repetition? I suspect there are two possible explanations for God saying the same thing over and over. Either God was being very emphatic, or Joshua wasn’t listening real well. Perhaps both are true.
When I was growing up on the farm, I kept waiting to develop big, bulging, impressive muscles in my arms. It never happened. No matter how much I worked, my muscles never impressed me. I threw bales of hay up on the wagon by adrenaline and determination, more than by muscles.
But the fact is that I did develop some muscles, even though it might not seem so. Little by little, I was firming up my muscles.
I’ve never felt very courageous. Perhaps I don’t need to feel courageous at all. But if I exercise in little ways, I am where I need to be, and doing what I need to do.
One final thought: Joshua 1:6 comes right after Joshua 1:5. It’s strange how that works! And in Joshua 1:5, God promises that he will be with Joshua, just as God was with Moses. Our dog is much more brave when my wife and/or I are with her. Being courageous with the God of the universe is a whole lot easier than being courageous without God.
“A MERELY NEGATIVE GOODNESS”
Today’s blog deals with breaking bad habits. The thesis is simple: We can’t!
I have sometimes (often?) fallen into a simple but deadly trap—trying to be good by not being bad. It doesn’t work. Process precedes product.
In a book entitled, Self-Knowledge and Self-Discipline: How to Know and Govern Yourself, B.W. Murin writes the following wise and helpful words:
“The oftener we choose anything the easier it is to choose it again. The Law of habit reigns in the moral order as truly as the law of gravitation in the physical. The most difficult things become easy in time. It would be as difficult for a saint after long habits of virtue suddenly to fall into mortal sin, as it would for a man living for years in habits of vice suddenly to become a saint” (115).
Concerning bad habits, Murin writes, “. . . [H]abit can only be conquered by habit” (116).
“The prodigal who wakens to find himself a swineherd in a distant land cannot get back to his father’s home, however much he longs for it, save by treading step by step the road which he journeyed in leaving it” (117).
“The result of a great battle does not depend upon the moment’s struggle, but upon the discipline and training of the troops in the past. Before a blow is struck or the first shot fired the issue of the conflict is practically decided.
The conflict, therefore, must be unceasing; the opportunities of training the will present themselves every hour” (124).
Murin goes on to note that a merely negative approach to the mind and thought-life does not work.
“There is a better way. The positive rather than the negative way. Let not your mind be overcome with evil, ‘but overcome evil by good.’ The emptying the mind of evil is not the first step towards filling it with good. It is not a step in that direction at all. If you succeeded in emptying your mind of every undesirable thought, what then? You cannot empty it and then begin to fill it with better thoughts. No, you must empty it of evil by filling it with good. Nature abhors a vacuum. You drive out darkness by filling the room with light. If you would fill a glass (150) with water you do not first expel the air, you expel the air by pouring in water. And in the moral life there is no intermediate state of vacuum possible in which, having driven out the evil, you begin to bring in good. As the good enters it expels the evil” (151) (150-151).
“THE IMPORTANCE OF LITTLE THINGS, PART 2”
I am still camping on little things. A friend and loyal reader of my posts, sent me the following e mail that points out another case of the bigness of little things:
“Your story reminded me of a real life small thing (actually two).
While I was at Gettysburg, a guide told about a fence and 3 degrees. Before Pickets Charge, the south bombarded the North’s lines all night but they could have done a simple thing that would have been more effective. When the men charged and got to a low area on the field, they had to cross a simple wooden “stacked” fence. They were showered with rifle fire. The problem was, they couldn’t return fire because the rest of the field to the north lines was about a 3 degree up-slope. The north’s fire could reach the South army, but the slope kept the south fire from reaching the North army. 40% of the casualties were found on the road by the fence. Had the South removed the fence during the night, we might be living in the Northern States of America.”
In trying to run down the precise source of the saying, “He who despises little things, shall fall little by little,” I ran across an author with whom I was not at all familiar. One of the nice things about looking for something is that you might find something else!
Charles George Everard was a physician, land speculator, and minister, who lived in Australia in the 1800’s. He was a Unitarian, but I try to grab wisdom everywhere I can find it, whether I believe the same beliefs or not. The rest of this blog post consists of quotes from Mr. Everard. I hope that they inspire you and me to attend to small, but important things today! (I still don’t know precisely where that quote comes from! That is going to be a splinter in my mind, until I can dig it out and hold it up the light!)
Here are the Everard quotes:
“Reader, beware of neglecting to exercise this universal principle in little things. Great occasions for serving God occur but seldom; lesser ones arise every moment. Little things are not to be despised. “He who despises little things, shall fall little by little.” Little omissions of duty, little acts of disobedience, as they may seem to us — may prove a great hindrance along our path. A few grains of dust, or a small insect in the eye, will often cause great pain and annoyance. A little stone in a horse’s foot will make it stumble again and again.
The Christian will find much the same thing from the indulgence of apparently trivial sins. They will . . .
harass the mind,
destroy the peace and comfort which he might enjoy,
prove a stumbling-block to him as he endeavors to run the heavenly race” (George Everard).
“The tiny hair, the spark, the screw!
(George Everard, “Little Foxes, and How to Catch Them!” 1878)
“Catch the foxes — the little foxes that spoil the vines.” Song of Songs 2:15
Solomon is very emphatic here. It is “the little foxes” which do the mischief. If the vines are injured, if the beautiful clusters are destroyed — he warns us that it is the little foxes which have crept in and have been the culprits.
I want to linger over this thought. I want every reader to lay to heart the importance of little things.
“Is it not a little one?” is the excuse of many a soul when entering upon a course that will be fatal to all peace and happiness.
Yes, it may look a little one, but for that very reason, be the more on your guard. A man’s life is made up of little things. “He who despises little things, shall fall little by little.”
A tiny hair has in some way found an entrance into the works of a watch. It touches one of the inner wheels, and so again and again the watch stops or goes irregularly. Much valuable time is in consequence lost, and only after its removal, does the watch prove useful to its owner.
A spark of fire has fallen upon some inflammable materials. It is but a spark at first, but it soon kindles into a flame. By-and-by through that one spark, a group of valuable warehouses is burned to the ground.
A small screw has not been carefully fastened in the boiler of an engine. For a time, no harm comes of it; but after a while, the defect loosens other parts of the machinery. An unlooked for catastrophe shortly afterwards occurs. The boiler explodes and spreads devastation and death far and wide. Many lives are lost, and valuable property is destroyed.
The tiny hair, the spark, the screw — have often their counterpart in the Christian life. A permitted inconsistency stands in the way and hinders the working of the Savior’s love in the heart. A harsh word does a world of harm. A neglected duty brings evil to thousands.
Catch the foxes, yes, the little ones — let not one of them escape! If you would be secure, you must be determined to spare none — not even the very smallest!
Bear in mind “the little foxes” are especially dangerous, because they creep into the vineyard so secretly. They often get in unobserved. Even so, little sins and faults have a peculiar power to beguile the conscience. They often pass unchallenged. They make but little noise or show, and therefore they deceive the heart, and do their deadly work while we are unaware.
Bear in mind also, that little foxes will soon grow. Week by week, month by month, very insensibly to yourself — the little one is growing stronger and larger! The one you thought at first a mere plaything because it was so small — becomes an over-bearing tyrant!
Is not this true of every sin? It grows by use and habit. Its strength and power is constantly on the increase.”
“OF CIGARETTE BUTTS AND OTHER IMPORTANT MATTERS”
I picked up a blog post along with cigarette butts this morning.
My wife and I are visiting friends of ours in West Virginia. Two of our friends were picking up trash for the Adopt-A-Highway Program, and I decided to tag along.
Almost immediately, I realized that I needed to make an important decision. Did I pick up cigarette butts or not? Given the fact that I am slow and not terribly well coordinated, I initially thought, “Nah, I think not.”
But then, I reflected that if everyone took that approach, it wouldn’t take very long at all before there were an overwhelming number of cigarette butts along the side of the road. Eventually, there would be so many butts that no one would tackle them. The butts would take over the world—or, at least, the roadside.
This leads me to a bigger issue than cigarette butts: the issue of little things in general. There are a lot of little things that I don’t pick up, or pick up on. There are little things that might help my physical health—or compromise it. There are little things that I can do to show my wife how much she means to me. There are also little mean-nesses that can harm our relationship.
Someone has said, “When I see how important little things are, I wonder if there really are any little things.” There is an ancient proverb that says, “He who despises little things will fall little by little.” Afraid so!
There is another saying that I have heard that reflects this same thought:
For the loss of a nail, the horse’s shoe was lost.
For the loss of a shoe, the horse was lost.
For the loss of the horse, the soldier was lost.
For the loss the soldier, the battle was lost.
For the loss of the battle, the war was lost.
Exaggerated? Maybe. But then again, maybe not.
So, today, I will ask myself two questions. What little bad things can I avoid? What little good things can I do?
I will answer by acting accordingly.
“CONSEQUENCES AND FRESH STARTS”
I believe in two contradictory things—consequences and fresh starts. They are always in tension, but sometimes, they are in an almost unbearable tension.
Take the hypothetical case of someone who is being considered for a very high (but hypothetical) position in a very hypothetical country. This hypothetical candidate is accused of a serious crime which may or may not be hypothetical. His accuser seems quite believable and sure of her accusation. He seems quite certain of his own innocence.
His hypothetical wrong-doing was a long time ago. He was young. His accuser was young. Should we key in on this hypothetical person experiencing the consequences of his past actions, or should we invoke the law of fresh starts?
This is not hypothetical when it comes to my own life. I have both experienced serious (and, no doubt, well deserved) consequences for my past actions, and I have been given a fresh start. Both have been important.
Some people that I love (most notably, my wife) have emphasized a fresh start. Others (most notably, my children) have emphasized consequences. One of the consequences is that my children don’t have anything to do with me. My wife and I, however, are still together. In fact, we are more in love than ever.
I wish that there were a clear dividing line between consequences and fresh starts. The “were” in the preceding sentence was very intentional, and suggests the unreality of my wish. There is no such dividing line. It is never clear, except in entirely hypothetical cases, which way a person, a family, a country, should go.
God, grant us enough consequences to take our own wrong-doing and that of others seriously enough. Grant us also enough fresh starts to keep us from ultimate despair.
“SECOND CHANCES FOR DOGS AND OTHER CRITTERS”
I don’t suppose that this comes as a total surprise, but I am not always a good person. I’m a much better man than I used to be, but sometimes the old me makes an appearance.
So, last night I lost my temper with our one-year-old-still-a-chewy-puppy. Why?
There was one “reason” in the puppy’s behavior, and a whole raft of (non) “reasons” in me. The dog chewed up some things, most notably an insert from my wife’s shoe.
What about the (non)reasons in me? I was mad at myself because I hadn’t closed and latched the bedroom door when I was putting the sheets on the bed, which had allowed her puppyhood in. I was angry because I had eaten a whole bunch of sweets. I was angry because . . ., oh, who knows why I was angry! I was just plain angry!
Now, of course dogs—especially puppies—do chew things up. It’s what they do. However, this seemed a little more important to me because we are planning to visit friends in West Virginia in a few days. I don’t want Laylah chewing our hosts out of house and home.
So, after I had smacked Laylah on the nose (not hard enough to make her yelp, thank God!), I put the dog in the crate for a little while, stormed into the living room, where my wife was watching “The Voice,” and announced, in no uncertain terms that Laylah was not going with us. We would either leave her in the kennel, or we just wouldn’t go!
Then I stormed back to my desk to read a book about how to understand the Bible better.
After I had calmed down a bit, I let Laylah out of the crate, and she scooted into the living room and jumped up on the recliner to be with my wife, to be with someone who loves her.
Later, on my way upstairs, I had to pass through the living room. This ended up taking a bit longer than I had thought it would. From the recliner, two sets of eyes were looking at me with a heart-melting mixture of accusation and the desire for mercy. Laylah didn’t say much, but my wife said, “Everybody deserves a second chance.”
And, of course, she was right. How many chances has my sweetheart given me? I’ve lost track, but it’s a lot. Laylah is going with us.
Do you need a second chance? Or, perhaps, a 2,000,000th chance?
Well, join the club! It’s a very large one, but there is room for you. If there’s room for Laylah and me, there’s room for anyone.
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