“Blaming and Shaming versus Reframing and Renaming”
A wise young friend and I were talking this morning about why it is that we so often make bad choices. A wise person not only says wise things, but also brings out the wisdom in others. Something my friend said provoked me to say, “Instead of blaming and shaming ourselves, we need to be reframing and renaming.”
Sometimes, when we’re stuck, we just need to see things in a different light. One way to see things differently is to reframe them. In a sense, frames don’t change the picture. However, they most certainly change how we view the picture.
And part of reframing is renaming.
Perhaps an example might help. If I have framed and named certain questionable behaviors as “shortcuts” to significance or to feeling good, I might want to rename and reframe such “shortcuts.” Perhaps I could rename such questionable behaviors as questionable behaviors. (And, of course, if I have to ask too many questions about a particular behavior, I already know it’s wrong for me. So, perhaps even “questionable behaviors” is not an adequate renaming.)
In a sense the renaming is the reframing. And if I have correctly renamed and reframed something, I am more likely to see it as it truly is.
Renaming and reframing may not be transformation, but they may be steps toward transformation. In any case, renaming and reframing are a darned sight better than shaming and blaming.
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