Monthly Archives: April 2020
“Today House”
Matt. 6:34: “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
A friend and accountability partner acknowledged that he was “. . . tired of being quarantined.” Who of us is not tired of being quarantined, I wonder? Honesty is a key component of accountability (and friendship), so it was good that he admitted what is real for him. He is also determined to be grateful today.
After I read my friend’s post, my mind jumped immediately to an incredibly sad Adam-12 rerun I was watching yesterday on Me TV. A petty criminal had gotten out of prison. He was an old and broken man who just wanted “to go home.” When a police officer asked him where home was for him, he said, “Prison.” The police officer who had arrested him the last time the old guy went to prison tried to get the con into a halfway house that was called “Today House.”
One of the police officers who went to check out the halfway house asked the man who was in charge about the name of the place, “Today House”. The man (who himself had been in prison) replied, “Oh, that comes from a common saying in prisons: “Don’t worry about tomorrow; just try to get through today.”
Good counsel! I am doing pretty well with my own quarantine. That is because I live in Today House. I hope you are too.
DTEB, “Solitary Confinement? Not Really!”
“I found solitary confinement the most forbidding aspect of prison life. There is no end and no beginning; there is only one’s mind, which can begin to play tricks. Was that a dream or did it really happen? One begins to question everything.”
Nelson Mandela (https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/solitary-confinement.html, accessed April 16, 2020)
This isolation, this sheltering-in-place, this whatever-you-may-call it, is not really solitary confinement. Hopefully, it is as close to that as many of us (hopefully) will get. This isolation that we are going through is not solitary confinement, but it is still a serious problem. It is, at the same time, a wonderful opportunity.
First, let me acknowledge what we all already know: What we are all going through is a problem. In America, many of us like to pretend that we can get along very well without other people. Men are especially prone to do this. I’ve never been able to do it very well. This was one of the things that caused me to question my masculinity.
The problem with this approach to life—and with our current way of living our lives—may be stated very simply: We are made to be with other people. Johnny Cash said it very well in a song. “Flesh and blood needs flesh and blood, and your love’s what I need.”
Now, you can understand this need in a variety of ways, several of which may be quite valid. Evolutionary biologists might speak of our need for other people in order for us to survive. Psychologists might speak similarly of “the herd instinct.” The Bible tells us that God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone,” and so created the animals to keep the man company. This did not quite fill the bill, so God created the woman. Any way you understand it, we need other people. Anyone who says otherwise is lying to himself and to you.
So, this isolation is a problem. It goes against a very basic human need. Even introverts, who value greatly their alone time, still need other people.
But this fellowship of isolation that we are going through right now is also an opportunity. In fact, it is a whole bevy of opportunities.
- Opportunity #1: We can get better acquainted with our neighbors. I have had more conversations, and deeper conversations with my neighbors than I’ve ever had with them before. Sometimes, six feet is more intimate than a hug.
- Opportunity #2: We can figure out what really matters to us, and to those we love. Though retired, I struggled to find time to do this until covid-19 came knocking at the door.
- Opportunity #3: We can learn how to be still. I never outgrew the fidgety little boy I used to be. What a wonderful remedial class in stillness this isolation provides!
- Opportunity #4: We can get better acquainted with our own deepest selves. I find that I often use companionship and outward activities like a drug. I am trying to avoid getting to know my weaknesses and my strengths. Knowing my weaknesses would invite dependence on God and other people for help in working with them. I don’t want that! And if I know my strengths, I might have to actually do something to make use of them.
I’m sure you can think of other ways in which this isolation can be an opportunity. Feel free to email me your thoughts or leave them as comments.
However, a final word, which is also a warning: You can, like me, probably think of a lot more ways in which this isolation is a problem. That is as useless as it is easy. However, problems are not “faced” simply by listing them and then marinating in them. Doing something positive for yourself and others is the name of the game.
“Repetition and Boring Details during a Time of Crisis”
I finished yesterday listening my way through the book of Ezekiel. It is very repetitious and boring. But I’ve learned over the years that whenever I encounter something or someone that is boring, the problem lies within me. I need to listen and look more carefully, think more creatively, love more purely. So, I tried to apply some of these attitudes and actions to the Book of Ezekiel.
Ezekiel’s time was a violently, tragically dislocated time. He was exiled from his homeland as part of the second of three waves of Judean exile to Babylon. The waves became more devastating as they occurred.
When Ezekiel was already in Babylon, the folks from back home rebelled against their Babylonian overlords—again. During the siege of Jerusalem, and even more when the siege was successful for the Babylonians, many people died in the land of Judah. The devastation was especially prevalent in Jerusalem, the capital. The economy had ground to a halt because of the quarantine that was enforced by the armies surrounding Jerusalem. Some Judeans were killed by Babylonian soldiers. Others died of plague and likely of malnutrition. Finally, when all food and hope had been exhausted, the Babylonians breached the gates, and put much of the city to the sword and to the torch. The king of Judah was deposed, his eyes were gouged out, and he was taken to Babylon in chains. Many of the leaders of Judah were executed. The temple was destroyed. Only the poorest of the poor were allowed to stay in the land.
Meanwhile, Ezekiel (who was already in Babylon), was prophesying to his fellow captives. He was fighting a battle on several fronts. On the one hand, he was trying to help his fellow Judeans to not lose all hope. On the other hand, he was fighting against the tendency toward the false hopes of many of his compatriots. Many thought that their exile would be brief, and that they would soon be returning to their homeland. “No!” said Ezekiel. “You will not!”
Now, you might think that, in the midst of all this drama and trauma, the Book of Ezekiel would be very dramatic. There are indeed racy bits. But most of it is mind-numbingly repetitious. Ezekiel was both a prophet and a priest. The prophets could be rather theatrical about both God’s judgment and God’s grace. Priests, however, tended to plod along. Ezekiel often comes across as more of a priest than a prophet. How could Ezekiel plod along with long, repetitious, boring descriptions of God’s judgment of Judah and equally long, repetitious, boring descriptions of God’s eventual restoration of Judah?
Yet, perhaps it is precisely during dramatic, traumatic times that we need some regularity, some repetition. A lot of us who may have craved a change of pace two months ago would give anything to go back to our boring lives.
I think that it is safe to say that we are living in a time of drama and trauma right now. What should we do at times like these, when everything seems to be—and maybe is—falling apart? I don’t know what the particular contours of your life are like right now. I am neither a prophet nor a priest. Perhaps you need to be your own Ezekiel, with your own visions of regularity. But I will tell you what some of my regular, (boring??) stuff is that helps me to stay more or less sane.
- I am trying to go to bed by no later than 10:00 p.m., and no earlier than 9:58 p.m.
- I am trying to wake up by no later than 6:00 a.m.
- I do my regular gratitude list.
- I report to my 12-step sponsors.
- I do a daily affirmation. (Today’s affirmation is as follows: Today, by God’s grace, I am spending my time on things that I think matter deeply to God, to me, and to others.)
- I drink a couple of cups of fairly weak coffee.
- I do several 12-step readings.
- I journal.
- I call and/or text several 12-step friends.
- I read and/or listen to Scriptures.
- I write a blog (sometimes).
- I have breakfast with my sweetheart.
- She and I pray for one another, and read a brief devotional.
- I take the dog out to do her business—several time a day.
- I am taking cooking lessons from one of the finest chefs I know, my wife.
- I am listening to classical music on AccuRadio.
- I am learning more about music, and how to understand and enjoy it.
- I am learning Spanish via Duolingo. (It’s a free download.)
- I try to get some exercise and fresh air every day.
- I am working through some books to review them for a scholarly magazine.
- I am working on revising my Ph D dissertation, in order to publish it.
Sound boring to you? Sometimes it does to me as well. But especially during this time of pandemic, boring is a reassuringly stabilizing reality.
Long live Boring!
DTEB, “No Death; No Resurrection”
Here is part of my journal entry from yesterday:
Sunday, April 12, 2020: Easter!
It is rainy, but not ferociously cold this morning. What was the weather like when Jesus rose from the dead? I don’t suppose it mattered. If death is not the final word, the weather doesn’t matter much, if at all.
Does death matter, if Christ triumphed over it for us all?
Yes, death does matter. Because death mattered to God, he sent his Son to die for all of us walking dead people, us zombies (Ephesians 2:1-10).
Yet, we still will need to physically die. And we go through many mini-deaths, in preparation for our big physical death. I’ve gone through several mini-deaths just in the past year:
So, if Christ has truly been raised from the dead, if he defeated death for us all, then why is there so much death still in the world? Do I really believe this stuff? Is it true?
My “3-Minute Retreat” for this morning gives one helpful response to the questions I asked above. It is based on John 20:9: “For they did not yet understand the scripture that he had to rise from the dead.”
The retreat commentary makes these observations:
“The disciples did not understand the necessity of Christ’s Resurrection. Do we? Would we, could we, live more fully in the Kingdom of God if we understood the necessity of embracing the cross in order to enter the new life of Resurrection? It is a question for each day of our lives. Understanding will only come through our ceaselessly seeking who and what we are to be in the risen Lord.”
And then, the retreat asks two crucial questions:
“Do you resist embracing what needs to die in your life in order to reach the Resurrection?
What do you believe about the Resurrection?”
Do I embrace the death of what needs to die in my life? Or do I simply cling to it, refusing to let what needs to die?
And yes, there are many things that still need to die. And the fact (and it is, unfortunately, a fact) that I am unwilling to allow the things to die that need to die, shows that I am not yet ready for an Easter resurrection. The fact that God has made great progress with me in overcoming my addiction does not obscure the need for dealing with a lot of other hang-ups and habits that need go.
Maybe by Easter of 2021, I’ll be more ready for resurrection.
“Of Birth and Death”
Yesterday was my birthday, and I had a wonderful celebration, thanks to my wife and many of my friends. It was also the day when Christians “celebrate” Christ’s death on the cross. There is a reason why I put “celebrate” in double quotation marks. Is death ever a reason to celebrate?
Certainly, Roman crosses were not originally designed for celebration—or for being turned into jewelry. Roman crosses were designed to inflict maximum pain over an agonizingly long period of time. Death was by suffocation, once you were too weak to push yourself up to breathe. It was a kind of pre-meditated, very targeted covid-19 that was intentionally transmitted to someone.
Imagine yourself saying to any of Jesus’ original disciples on the Friday that Jesus was crucified, “Hey, guys! I’ve got a wonderful idea! Why don’t we call this ‘Good Friday’!” At best, they would have looked at you with total bewilderment. At worst, you might have gotten a broken jaw. In any case, I doubt that there would have been a single vote in favor of your proposal.
And yet, those of us who follow Christ, do call it Good Friday. Why? Let me suggest two reasons.
First, Jesus’ death by crucifixion was not the closing chapter of his story. Generally speaking, the last chapter of a book—or the final main section of a Wikipedia article—speaks of the death of historical characters. The four Gospels of the Old Testament all indicate that Jesus’ family and friends were certain that Jesus was gone.
However, in the case of Jesus, the story goes that he did not stay dead. (Yes, I know! That’s pretty difficult to swallow. There are, however, many of us who actually believe it.) In light of the fact that Jesus didn’t stay put in the tomb, in retrospect, his crucifixion day came to be known as “Good Friday.”
But there is a second reason why Good Friday was good. The Gospels, the book of Acts, almost all of the letters, and the book of Revelation all indicate that Jesus’ death wasn’t primarily a tragedy or a miscarriage of justice. Rather, Jesus’ death was redemptive. He died in our place, for our wrong-doings.
If that is true, that is incredibly good. It was way beyond incredibly good; it was the best!
And since I believe that Jesus died for my sins—and for all our sins—and since I believe that he was raised from the dead, I don’t mind having my birthday coincide with Good Friday every once in a while. In point of fact, my birthday was so much nicer knowing that my sins are forgiven, and that isn’t the final word.
“The God of Hope”
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Romans 15:13, English Standard Version)
The God of the Bible is supposed to be a God of hope. Most of us who say that we believe the Bible is the written Word of God at least give lip service to this idea.
However, trying times reveal to each of us whether “the God of hope” is a real belief, or simply a pleasant notion. And this is most definitely a trying time.
In a sense, hope looks forward. Christianity is often criticized for being a backward-looking religion. I suppose that, in a sense, this is true. We do look back to creation and to redemption. On the other hand, Christianity is often thought of as (and criticized for) being about “pie in the sky in the sweet by and by when you die.” Sometimes we do indeed look back and forward too much—or at least wrongly. Is hope just escapism? I hope not!
But one of the things we need to do is to hope right here, right now.
I hear someone say, “Wait a minute! Isn’t hope itself forward-looking at its core? How can you say that hope is right here and right now?”
Hope does often look forward in time. But primarily, hope looks upward. Hope looks at the God who is bigger than our problems, no matter what those problems are. Covid-19 is a serious business. However, I believe that God is more serious still.
Then too, hope is a present-moment mindset and heart-set activity because hope takes place in the present. Like Planning, Hope’s practical partner, Hope operates in the present. Without hope, who would plan or do anything? When I get out of bed in the morning, Hope and Faith help me to put my feet on the floor, telling me that the floor is still there. Without at least a little present hope, no one would be able to do anything in the now, to try to make the future better.
So, my dear fellow-believers in Hope, it is time to put up or shut up. If we have hope in God or science or anything else, it is time to base our actions on that hope.
Yesterday, I was thinking of a former co-worker of my wife who volunteered to go to New York to serve as a nurse. And I thought, what can I do? After all, I am elderly myself. Aside from staying in and trying not to get infected (or infecting anyone else, if I already am infected), what do I have to offer this world?
The problem with asking yourself hard questions is that, sometimes, God or your better angels, or the universe answers you. I immediately thought of several things I could do.
I can encourage, right now, everyone with whom I come into respectfully distanced contact. My neighbors, my 12-step friends, non-addict friends, Facebook friends—the list is a lot longer than I initially thought. A good friend texted me today, telling me how special I am to him. I feel the same way toward him. Hoping that I can make a difference by expressing appreciation for people is a very present help right now, both for those I appreciate and for the appreciator who is me.
I can help a few people financially. My wife and I are far from wealthy, but we do have a bit of money still coming in. And then there are the government relief checks. We have what we need. Our house and cars are paid for. Why not give away some (if not all) of this extra money? Why not indeed! Hope—when it is real—leads to hopeful and helpful actions.
And then there is this website. Why not encourage readers with it? Why not put in writing some funny stories, some hopeful stories, some uplifting thoughts? Why not indeed!
“Nightmares & Morning Chickens”
I have fat, clumsy fingers. So, it was with great joy that I discovered that I can dictate texts on my smart phone. Maybe that’s why they call them “smart phones.”
However, I’m discovering that my pronunciation is not always up to snuff. For example . . .
Yesterday morning, a 12-step friend and I were exchanging morning check-in texts. I replied to his text that “I cherish these morning check-ins.” At least, that is what I intended to dictate. However, my smart-but-not-quite-smart-enough phone heard it as “I cherish these morning chickens.”
I’ve learned to read my texts before I send them. Sometimes, I even remember to do that. This time I remembered, but decided to send it the way it was, with a follow-up sentence that said what I really meant to say. Humor is scarcer than toilet paper these days, and just as important.
The expression “morning chickens” took me back to my childhood growing up on the farm. When I was little, we still kept chickens. My job was to gather the eggs morning and evening. I loved doing this, especially in the morning. Mom went with me, until I was ready to fly solo. The chickens were allowed freedom of movement, so it was great fun to hunt for the eggs. Some of the hens lay their eggs in predictable places, and some hens were full of surprises—as well as eggs.
Morning check-ins are important for addicts. Perhaps they are important for everyone, whether or not they are addicts. But morning chickens matter too. And memories of little childhood delights matter even more. Even at a time when we realize how fragile life is, how fragile it always was. Even when we aren’t sleeping well, and wake up to find ourselves in the middle of a nightmare. Especially then. I speak from experience. I tossed and turned all night, and was plagued by nightmares. I love early mornings, but I don’t love them this much. In other words, it’s early, even for me.
But even in the midst of nightmares and restlessness, there are things for which to be profoundly grateful.
- Friends who hold themselves accountable to me.
- Friends who hold me accountable.
- Funny stuff you didn’t intend.
- Good memories of morning chickens.
“Social Distancing from Fear”
Social distancing is the current buzz term. And I believe that it is a good thing. However, let me suggest another form of social distancing that might be helpful: social distancing from our fears.
However, we need to be careful not to try to quarantine our fears in an airtight room. They’ll smother to death! And the truth of the matter is that we actually need our fears. They are a gift from God, if you believe in God, as I do. If you don’t believe in God, fears are something given to us by the process of evolution. In any case, fears can be a very good thing. A person, a dog, or a fly that don’t fear anything would soon be a dead person, dog, or fly.
At a recent Zoom tele-meeting, some 12-step friends and I were discussing an important topic: how to avoid turning our emotions (particularly stress and fear) into occasions for acting out in our bottom-line addictive patterns.
I commented as follows: “I need to acknowledge my fears, but I don’t need to invite them in for coffee.”
And then I added, “Sometimes, I stand across the street and have a face to face conversation with my stress and fears. But I do stay on my side of the street. I don’t want my fears to infect me, nor do I want to be a carrier of the fear contagion to others.”
The other day, I encountered a friend on my walk in our community. He was out mowing the yard. We had a nice visit—from across the street.
Perhaps that’s what we should do with our fears: visit in a friendly manner from across the street. Just don’t invite them in for coffee.
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- “Even a Sliver of Light” April 9, 2024“For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” (2 Corinthians 5:6, English Standard Version) I missed the total eclipse yesterday. There were a number of good reasons for this, but […]
- “The Process in Miracles and the Miracle of Process” March 11, 2024“2 Kings 5:1 Naaman, commander of the army of the king of Syria, was a great man with his master and in high favor, because by him the LORD had given victory to Syria. He was a mighty man of valor, but he was a leper. 2 Now the Syrians on one of their raids […]
- “The Power of Encouragement—Even for Old People” March 10, 2024“But encourage each other every day while it is ‘today.’ Help each other so none of you will become hardened because sin has tricked you.” (Hebrews 3:13, New Century Version) Yesterday, I was walking at a nearby park. There was a large group of young people some of whom were running while other young people […]
- “Endurance” March 10, 2024“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.” (Hebrews 10:36, English Standard Version) “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us […]
- “The Limits of Non-Judgmentalism” February 24, 2024“Matt. 7:1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. Matt. 7:2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2, English Standard Version) This morning, in my virtual 12-step meeting, we discussed the topic of judgmentalism. There were many wise […]
- “Delighting in Being Told What to Do?!?” February 23, 2024“Psa. 112:1 Praise the LORD! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commandments! 2 His offspring will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. 3 Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures […]
- “Character is the Real Lesson” January 19, 2024I am often confused about what lesson I’m really supposed to be learning. For example, this morning I was trying to knock out several Spanish lessons. My intentions were a lot better than my internet connection. I’ve done three lessons. Or rather, I’ve done two lessons. One of them I did twice because the internet […]
- “The Year of Becoming Un-Planked” January 1, 2024Each year, I try to come up with one word or a short phrase for what I intend to work on in the upcoming year. 2024 is “The Year of Becoming Un-Planked”. What?!! What does that even mean? So glad that you asked! Jesus said to his disciples, “Why do you look at the speck […]
- “Searching for the Noble One” December 26, 2023My wife and I were reading Luke, chapter 2 on Christmas Day. Luke 2 talks about the shepherds being told to look for this very special child—in fact, this King—in a stable. I prefer the word “barn”. I grew up on a farm. I know what a barn is. A stable is entirely too biblical […]
- “That Don’t Impress God Much” December 14, 2023DTEB, “That Don’t Impress God Much” “That Don’t Impress Me Much” (Song by Robert John Lange and Shania Twain) Micah 6:8 (MSG) “But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be […]
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