Posts Tagged: influence

“ON FINISHING OTHER PEOPLE’S SENTENCES”

I have a nasty tendency to finish other people’s sentences.  My wife pointed that out (very kindly and humbly, I might add) just the other night.  We were in the car, and had left our community group meeting.  My sweetheart started to say something, and I finished her sentence for her.

She immediately called me on that, but softened the blow a bit by saying, “I know that you get excited about the Scripture, and that’s why you do that.”  I’m not sure if she was right about that part.  She may have been crediting me with a good motivation that I don’t always have.

I got quiet.  At first, the quiet was a defensive quiet.  (What can I say that will put her in her place?!?)  But then, the quiet deepened into a more reflective quiet.  (What if she’s right?)  The final stage of my silence was a self-aware and honest quiet.  (Of course, she’s right!)

I do, in fact, finish people’s sentences for them.  And even if it is because I get excited about the topic of discussion, it is wrong.  I was able to acknowledge that fact to my sweetheart before we got home.

The next morning after breakfast, we were sharing our prayer requests for the day, as we do on many days.  I said, “Please pray that I will work on not . . .”  My wife interrupted and said, “. . . finishing people’s sentences.”  For a split second, I thought that she meant to do that, and was just making a very funny quip.  After all, I call her “Princess Quirky Humor” sometimes.  But the shocked look on her face told me that she had not done this intentionally.  No!  She had done the very thing that she had spoken to me about the night before, the very thing that I was requesting her to pray for this morning!

We both burst out laughing.  It was so funny!  I know that God understands the language of our tears and of our anger when we pray.  I hope that God also appreciates laughter in prayers.  I imagine he does.

It was several minutes before we got ourselves under control.  Every time my wife and I tried to look at one another, we began to laugh again.  It was a wonderful, sweet moment.

Every sin and stupidity is a reality that transcends gender, race, nationality, I.Q., and every other artificial distinction we make, to pretend that we are better than others.  Some of us may be worse or more prone to certain human vices, but we are, nonetheless, human.  Vice is an equal-opportunity employer.

That said, my wife is not very prone to interrupt or to finish other people’s sentences.  She is a quiet, thoughtful, courteous person.

In fact, as I was thinking about writing this blog post, it occurred to me that I might be at least partially at fault for her finishing my sentence.  Here is why:

Have you ever noticed that, if you hang around with someone who gossips, you find yourself gossiping more?  If you are spending time with someone who complains a lot, do you complain more than usual?  I could ask a lot more questions that obvious answers, but perhaps that’s enough.  If you hang around with someone who finishes other people’s sentences for them, you might . . . Well, I’ll let you finish that sentence.

So, at least in part, I may have been responsible for my wife’s interruption.

The Bible, especially the book of Proverbs, points out that we become like those with whom we associate.  Influence can be positive or negative.

Positively, consider the following: “The person who spends time with wise people becomes wise himself” (Proverbs 13:20, my paraphrase).

Negatively, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered” (Proverbs 22:24, New International Version).

Influence is a powerful thing.  I need to pay attention to how others might be influencing me.  I also need to be aware of how I might be influencing others, and make sure that my influence is for the good.

I also need to pay attention to the wise rebukes of those who love me.  I can learn a lot by paying attention to the wise counsel of others.  I need to pay attention to what my wife says a lot more often than I do.  I could actually become a better person.

Follow on Feedly