Posts Tagged: 12-step slogans

“Estimable Acts”

Sometimes, in twelve-step meetings, we talk about the importance of self-esteem. I had a sponsor some years ago who encouraged me to do estimable acts. I didn’t think that I could do any highly estimable acts, but he was too smart and quick for me. As soon as I blurted out my low opinion of my abilities to do high and heroic stuff, he said, “Well then,” he said, “do some lowly estimable acts.”

The word “estimable” has two meanings: “capable of being estimated” and “worthy of esteem”. I estimate that the second meaning is the richer of the two.

So, I decided to do some estimable acts today. Here is a partial list:

Esteemable Acts

  1. Did 12-step report.
  2. Recorded audio from  12-step book and sent it out to a few friends.
  3. Graded several assignments for my class.
  4. Did several Spanish lessons.
  5. Printed off a journal article that one of my students is using for his paper. It promises to be worth reading.
  6. Fed the dog.
  7. Fed myself some good, nutritious food.
  8. Walked and ran two miles.
  9. Laylah went with me.
  10. Played with the toy fox with Laylah.
  11. Did stretches and weights.
  12. Went to a virtual 12-step. meeting.
  13. Replied to a friend’s email report.
  14. Read some Scripture.
  15. Read a bit of Cohick’s good commentary on Ephesians.
  16. Made my bed.
  17. Made Sharon’s bed.
  18. Cleaned up the dog’s poop.
  19. Gave the dog a treat for pooping.
  20. Shaved.
  21. Mowed the yard.
  22. Planted an apple core in the backyard. (I doubt it will prosper, but who knows?)
  23. Hosed off the lower deck.
  24. Did dishes.
  25. Took a shower.
  26. Texted with a 12-step friend.
  27. Dusted a bit upstairs.
  28. Took a call from a friend. (I promised him I would post a blog post today. By golly, here it is!)

Yes, I know: these are very simple mundane things. Fair enough! But perhaps most of the estimable things in the world are simple mundane things. Maybe these simple things are what makes the world a livable place.

What teeny tiny estimable acts are you doing these days? To have healthy self-esteem, there is no substitute for doing estimable acts.

. . . The End (or maybe not!)

After writing the first draft of this, I couldn’t post it immediately because my website was being uncooperative. So, I sent it as an attachment to the good friend whose phone conversation gave me the nudge I needed to write and post. He wrote to thank me and used the word “esteemable” instead of “estimable”. I am not the best speller in the world, so I thought to myself, “Huh! Apparently the word can be spelled either way.”

So, I did what most of us do these days, for better and for worse: I googled the words. At the website https://thecontentauthority.com/blog/esteemable-vs-estimable, I discovered that, at least according to one fellow word nerd, there are two separate words with related but different meanings. Here is what this site says:

“Esteemable is an adjective that describes something or someone who is worthy of respect or admiration. It can also refer to something that is considered valuable or important. For example, a person who consistently demonstrates honesty, integrity, and kindness can be described as esteemable. Similarly, an accomplishment that required significant effort and skill can be considered esteemable.”

. . .

“Estimable is also an adjective that describes something or someone who is deserving of respect or admiration. However, it specifically refers to a quality or characteristic that is worthy of esteem or high regard. For instance, a person who possesses estimable qualities such as intelligence, creativity, and leadership skills is highly regarded and respected by others. Similarly, an action or achievement that demonstrates exceptional skill or talent can be considered estimable.”

So, in light of all this, I would say that my friend used the right word for the deeds I did which are esteemable.

I thought about changing the title and replacing all the estimables, but decided not to do so. Why? The reason is that I suspect that people who have estimable characteristics and character also do esteemable actions. And the converse is also true, I think. People who do esteemable actions are or become estimable. I am trying to become one of those becomers!

“PRETEND”

There are times for saying just how badly you hurt.  I do not deny that.

On the other hand, there are also times for pretending.

In 12-step meetings and literature, we often spout off clichés.  One of my favorites is “Fake it ’til you make it.”

I didn’t used to like it, no, not even a little bit.  But I figured that I would try it once in a while, and you’ll never believe what happened: It worked!

I am more than a bit concerned about some rather alarming physical symptoms I’m having right now.  Loss of appetite and weight, low hemoglobin, generalized pain—these are a concern.  I’ve been lying around and sleeping a lot . . ., and complaining a lot, too.

However, today I decided to try something else.  I decided to pretend that I had plenty of energy, enough energy to accomplish everything I needed to do.

I’m not sure that I got everything I wanted to do done, but I’m sure that I got a lot more done than I’ve been doing.  Yes, I did take a nap, but not before I had worked diligently for most of the day.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve already been to the doctor, and plan to follow up.  I’m going to have a full physical.  I am not in denial.

But faking, at least in the 12-step sense, is not denial.  Rather, it is an affirmation that neither the past nor the present has to determine my future.  A Nat King Cole song that I liked a lot when I was a kid still wears well, I think.

Pretend”

 

“Pretend you’re happy when you’re blue
It isn’t very hard to do
And you’ll find happiness without an end
Whenever you pretend
Remember anyone can dream
And nothing’s as bad as it may seem
The little things you haven’t got could be a lot if you pretend
You’ll find a love you can share
One you can call all your own
Just close your eyes she’ll be there
You’ll never be alone
And if you sing this melody
You’ll be pretending just like me
The world is mine it can be yours my friend
So why don’t you pretend?” (Nat King Cole)

So, if you’re having some alarming physical symptoms, by all means go to the doctor.  If you are troubled mentally or emotionally, get some counseling.  Going on meds have helped many of my friends.  And, if there really is a God, and if God loves you deeply, by all means don’t leave God out of your cocktail of healthy realities.

But, along with other appropriate responses, try going the childhood route and play pretend.  It’s fun and sometimes it works!

 

Follow on Feedly