“Hanging on to my Garbage”
A friend of mine said at our 12-step meeting yesterday, “Sometimes, I hang on to my garbage . . .” [And then, he hesitated for a long while, looking as if he was trying to think of a good reason to hang on to his garbage. Finally, he finished his comment] “. . . because I’m insane.”
Right!
Hanging on to garbage is always insane. However, my garbage seems special somehow. No, really it does!
So, I hang on to it. Whether it was something done to me, or something I did, I hang on to it. And, of course, it stinks worse every day I hang on to it.
Once, I was talking with a fellow who had just graduated from medical school. I confessed to him that I liked him, but sometimes wasn’t too sure about doctors in general. “I suppose I should be grateful to them for us living a lot longer these days,” I said.
His response surprised me. “Well, you probably should be grateful to the garbage collectors,” he said. “One of the main things that shortened the life span in the past was plagues that were largely caused by poor sanitation. It is the garbage collectors that are the real heroes.”
Did you know that God is, among many other things, The Great Garbage Collector? There are many verses in the Bible that speak of what God does with our garbage (a.k.a. “sins”).
“10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:10-12, English Standard Version)
“I, I am he
who blots out your transgressions for my own sake,
and I will not remember your sins.” (Isaiah 43:25, English Standard Version)
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, my translation)
So, God apparently God collects all our sins, but he doesn’t collect them in order to add them to his collection. He collects them from us to get rid of them.
Why then do we hang on to them? There is no good reason, but there are probably lots of bad excuses. Maybe we’re afraid that, if we let go of the bad things done to us, we are somehow letting the one who harmed us “off the hook.” But if we realized how much damage the person who has hurt us have done to their own selves, perhaps we would give up this excuse.
And as for the harms we’ve done to ourselves and our other selves? Why do we hang on to those? Who knows? Sometimes, I suspect that I have so identified my faults with my “real self” (whatever that might be) that I am afraid of giving up all my garbage. If I set my garbage out at the curb, would there be anything left.
But no matter what excuses I come up with, or what reasons I try to concoct, the insanity of hanging on to my garbage still remains. And the insanity will remain as long as the garbage remains.
Time to set the garbage out, and let God pick it up! I think I hear the truck coming right now! Got to go!
“God Won’t Dump You Now!”
“Meditation for the Day
If you believe that God’s grace has saved you, then you must believe that He is
meaning to save you yet more and to keep you in the way that you should go.
Even a human rescuer would not save you from drowning only to place you in other
deep and dangerous waters. Rather, he would place you on dry land, there to
restore you. God, who is your rescuer, would certainly do this and even more.
God will complete the task He sets out to do. He will not throw you overboard,
if you are depending on Him.” (From Twenty-Four Hours a Day: The Little
Black Book)
“Psa. 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the LORD.” (Psalm 40:1-3, English Standard Version)
God is a God who rescues, but God is not only a God who rescues. God does not rescue me, just so that I can go back and try to drown again. No. The author of my 12-step reading for today points out this fact.
What would we think of a member of the coast guard who rescued people from drowning at sea, only to let them slip over the railing of a raging sea and drown? I’m not military, but I think that might be called “dereliction of duty.”
As soon as I did the 12-step reading that leads off this post, I thought of Psalm 40. The psalmist praises God for rescuing him from horrible danger, but the psalmist doesn’t stop there. He also praises God for following through. God not only rescues the psalmist from a slimy pit, but also sets the psalmist’s feet upon a rock. And then, God enables him to walk securely.
God’s deliverances are very thorough. God has thought of everything. We need to refuse to be minimalists when it comes to God’s ability to rescue us.
“Leaving out a Crucial Detail”
‘And Moses said to Aaron, “What did this people do to you that you have brought such a great sin upon them?” And Aaron said, “Let not the anger of my lord burn hot. You know the people, that they are set on evil. For they said to me, ‘Make us gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.’ So I said to them, ‘Let any who have gold take it off.’ So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf.”’
(Exodus 32:21–24 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, https://accordance.bible/link/read/ESVS#Ex._32:21)
I love this story. It is an incredibly human narrative. Moses “lollygags” around with God on Mount Sinai, while the people below get ants in their spiritual pants. The people come to Aaron, the priest, and express their impatience with this slow-poke, Moses. Aaron reacts immediately, instead of responding thoughtfully. And voila: The golden calf!
This is not a funny story. It is deadly serious. And yet, even deadly serious stories can have some humor in them. This one certainly does.
When Moses confronts his brother Aaron, Aaron explains—or excuses his behavior.
‘And Aaron said, “Let not the anger of my lord burn hot. You know the people, that they are set on evil. For they said to me, ‘Make us gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.’ So I said to them, ‘Let any who have gold take it off.’ So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf.”’
When Aaron is telling the story to Moses, Aaron leaves out a crucial part of the story that the author of Exodus had already told the reader.
“3 So all the people took off the rings of gold that were in their ears and brought them to Aaron. 4 And he received the gold from their hand and fashioned it with a graving tool and made a golden calf. And they said, “These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!” (Exodus 32:3-4, English Standard Version, emphasis mine)
When he speaks to Moses, Aaron leaves out the bit about his use of the engraving tool. He says, “I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf.”
Now, before I, before we, look down our long spiritual noses at Aaron, I/we might want to have a look in the mirror. When we are explaining why we did what we ought not to have done, or have failed to do what we ought to have done, we all tend to leave out crucial details. And in those crucial details are the real reasons why we’ve done what we shouldn’t, or not done what we should.
A crucial part of integrity is honesty, and a crucial part of honesty is being completely honest about our own part in what has gone wrong. It is easy to pretend that something “just happened,” when in fact we happened it.
Healing and transformation can only occur when we acknowledge our own engraving tools. Details matter—especially the details that relate to our own personal responsibility.
“You Can do Something!”
A friend of mine was telling me the other day that he hates the saying, “You can be anything you want to be.” We usually say this to children or young people. My friend thinks that this is a lie. I agree. Where we’re born, whether we’re male or female, born into wealth or poverty, the color of our skin—these things and thousands of others tend to limit our options.
But there is another lie that is equally pernicious: the lie that you can’t do anything worthwhile. In one of my 12-step readings today, I read the following:
“Being the victim is, or was, uncomfortably familiar to many of us. Perhaps some of us are only now realizing we have choices, that we need not let life happen to us. Becoming responsible to ourselves, choosing behavior, beliefs, friends, activities, that please us, though unfamiliar at first, soon exhilarates us. The more choices we make, the more alive we feel. The more alive we feel, the healthier our choices.” (From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey)
And in my 3-minute retreat this morning, I read these words:
“Turn away from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.” (Psalm 34:15, English Standard Bible)
The key for all of us is to turn from evil, do good, seek peace, and pursue it.
Yesterday was an incredibly good day for me. Why? Because, I turned away from evil—not the evil in the world; only my own evil. I did some good things. I sought after and pursued peace, at least for the most part.
There is no reason that I can’t do the same today. No, I can’t “be anything I want.” But I can do something good. And if I do some good things, I will also be something good.
And if I seek and pursue peace, then peace might just find and overtake me.
“A Fruit-Only Diet”
I have decided to go on a fruit-only diet. Nope! Not talking about apples, grapes, melons, strawberries, and pineapple. (Well, definitely not pineapple only!)
I am speaking of “the fruit of the Spirit.”
My wife and I have been trying to memorize the fruit of the Spirit. Paul mentions them in Galatians 5:22-23. Here is the relevant passage, along with a bit of context:
“22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” Galatians 5:22-26, English Standard Version)
Now, it is not only that my wife and I are trying to memorize the fruit of the Spirit. We/I can’t seem to get away from continual reminders about them.
For example, this morning I used them in the daily affirmation that is part of my daily report to my twelve-step sponsor. “Today, by God’s grace, I will cultivate the fruit of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
Then, I turned to my daily 3-Minute Retreat from Loyola Publishing, and guess what I encountered at https://www.loyolapress.com/retreats/living-in-freedom-start-retreat? Do you really need a second guess? Yep! The fruit of the Spirit—again!
A couple of days ago, in our preparation to be leaders for a “Rooted Experience” group, my wife and I were reading and journaling about (yes, you guessed it) the work of the Holy Spirit, including the fruit of the Spirit.
So, why was Paul reminding the Galatians about this fruit-only diet? He was writing to churches that he had helped to birth. Apparently, Paul had heard that they were eating a lot of spiritual junk food. Some of the believers were adding a lot of stuff to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Paul says to them, “Look! If you live by the good news of Jesus Christ, and by his Spirit, you’ll live a good life. But if you try to add a bunch of stuff, you’ll end up at one another’s throats.”
But aren’t we a lot like the Galatian believers? We find a good thing, and then we decide that we can make it even better. Sometimes, perhaps, we succeed, but more often than not, we ruin the good thing we’ve found.
Paul says to these mixed-up believers, “If you keep in step with God’s Holy Spirit, good qualities will be evident in your life.” In other words, what you need is a fruit-only diet.
These good qualities, this fruit of the spirit, operate in three directions. Metaphorically, we might think of this spatially—as outward, upward, and inward.
“Outwardly” refers to other people. The fruit of the Spirit is a matter of treating other people with love, joy, etc. This is likely why, in verse 26, Paul warns the Galatians against practicing spiritual cannibalism. If they (if we) are cultivating the fruit of the Spirit, they (and we) will not be eating one another alive.
While Paul doesn’t say this explicitly, there is also the upward aspect of the fruit of the Spirit. When we are cultivating the fruit of the Spirit, it pleases God. I believe that even the desire to cultivate the fruit of the Spirit pleases God. How much more so, if we are actually practicing works of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control! Even in a very rudimentary form, these qualities honor God.
But there is also the inner aspect of the fruit of the Spirit. I’ve noticed that when I am more loving, more peaceful, more kind, etc., I am so much happier. This is certainly true when I am practicing these qualities toward others.
However, there is another side to this inner aspect of a fruit-only diet, and it is this: I need to practice these qualities toward myself. For example, what would my life be like if I practiced kindness and gentleness toward myself? Maybe I should try it and find out.
A good and wise friend of mine often says that he wants to be a person of integrity. He often couples that with being gentle with himself. Yes!
So, I’m going on a fruit-only diet. I’ll let you know from time to time how it’s going. I don’t know if I’ll lose weight, but I suspect that I will gain character.
Come to think of it, diets of every kind are easier if you do them with other people. Care to join me in my fruit-only diet?
“Spiritually Unexplored Country”
“Much of life is spiritually unexplored country.” (Twenty-Four Hours a Day: The Little Black Book, excerpt from today’s reading, July 3, 2019)
When I was a young boy growing up on a farm I southern Ohio, I didn’t have playmates or a lot of activities with which to occupy myself. So, I took up exploring. Exploring meant my mom fixing me a couple of mayonnaise sandwiches and a mason jar filled with grape Kool-aid. I would put them in an old, worn-out purse that my mom had kept. I would also usually include a New Testament and a small notebook and pencil to record maps and all my discoveries.
I gradually extended my range of exploring to the edge of our farm, and eventually, way beyond our farm. Later, when I told my mom how far I had gone as a little guy, she was a bit mortified—if you can be a bit mortified—by how far I had traveled in my peregrinations. I suspect that Columbus and other explorers had to wait until their mothers were dead before they set out.
As with all explorers, I have sometimes gotten lost. Sometimes, I have not treated my traveling companions with kindness and respect. Sometimes, I have not treated the lands or people I’ve discovered in a caring way. Sometimes, I’ve been abusive.
But I continue to explore. I value my fellow explorers much more now, and I treat the places, things, and people I discover with more kindness and respect.
God is infinite. That means that there are no boundaries to God. So, I plan to keep on exploring forever.
Crank out the mayonnaise, grape Kool-Aid, and my wife’s old purse. Today, I’m going exploring!
“A Small Dose of God Revealed”
Today’s post is from a guest writer: my wife. This is her prayer that she read to me after she wrote it for “The Rooted Experience,” a journey that our church family is taking together. The prayer was written as a response to the following prompt: “Write a prayer to God asking Him to reveal Himself to you.” Her writing was so good that I asked her permission to share it with you. She graciously agreed.
“I think it is a scary prayer to ask God to reveal Himself to me. I was sitting at the ballfield while the guys were practicing before the game, working on this study. I thought, I can only take small doses of God revealing Himself to me.
About that time, an older gentleman pulled up in his red Hybrid car. He had come to play ball. He appeared to be in his mid to late 70’s. As he slowly hobbled across the parking lot carrying his bat, I suddenly felt compassion for him.
Is this how God sees us? Yearning for the days of our youth. Broken down and worn out from the burdens of life. And yet, still looking for that spark of pleasure that tells us we’re still in the game.
God sent His Son, Jesus, to tell us we can all still be in the game. This life is not all there is. He is the Ultimate Coach that can bring this team back to life by believing and turning all our old ways over to Him and following His example. The trophy for a well-played game is Eternal Life in Paradise.
Oh, did God just reveal Himself to me in a small dose?”
Postscript: The “hobbler” did an excellent job playing third base for the team I play on. His accomplishments included handling virtually everything that was hit his way, initiating a triple play, and hitting a triple himself. We won!
Everybody wins with Jesus—even those who lose. And thanks, dear wife, for an excellent piece of writing, and a wonderful prayer.
“Be Quiet and Move Forward!”
“The Lord will fight for you; you must be quiet.” (Exodus 14:14)
This is the YouVersion verse of the day for July 1. It is a very fine reminder. The Israelites were in a desperate situation. They were trapped between Pharaoh and his army behind, and a seemingly impassable body of water in front of them. As we might say it, they were between the devil and the deep blue sea.
The Israelites were quite understandably panicky. They cried out. They blamed Moses. They longed for “the good old days” when they were the Egyptians’ slaves. After all, there were plenty of graves in Egypt. What need was there to go into this desolate place to die?!
And into this impossible situation, Moses speaks the improbable words, “. . . you must be quiet.”
However, taking vs. 14 all by itself may be somewhat misleading. This is a common problem in reading the Bible or any other book, or in having any conversation. Words out of context can be very misleading. In fact, an isolated statement may mean precisely the opposite of what it seems to mean when you factor in the context. In this case, vs. 15 seems to stand on their heads Moses’ words about being quiet.
“15 The LORD said to Moses, ‘Why do you cry to me? Tell the people of Israel to go forward. 16 Lift up your staff, and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it, that the people of Israel may go through the sea on dry ground. 17 And I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they shall go in after them, and I will get glory over Pharaoh and all his host, his chariots, and his horsemen. 18 And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I have gotten glory over Pharaoh, his chariots, and his horsemen.’” (Exodus 14:15-18, English Standard Version)
When there is no forward, God commands his leader Moses to command the people to move forward. How do you go forward when there is no such thing?
There is frequently a forward, even when we don’t see it is, or think that there could be one. We may not like the forward, but it may be the right one, nonetheless.
So, you don’t know what to do? Move forward! You may need to be quiet first. But then, you may hear the command to move forward anyway.
“No Reproach in God’s Healing”
“But he as pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his wounds we are healed.”
(Isaiah 53:5, English Standard Version
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.”
(Romans 8:1–2, English Standard Version
If you read my blog posts regularly, you have no doubt picked up on the fact that my own musings are often provoked by my 12-step readings. Today’s post is another one with the same origin. This is from today’s reading from Twenty-Four Hours a Day.
“God has no reproach for
anything that He has healed. I can be made whole and free, even though I have
wrecked my life in the past. Remember the saying: ‘Neither do I condemn thee;
go and sin no more.’
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may not carry the burden of the past. I pray that I may cast it
off and press on in faith.” (From Twenty-Four
Hours a Day © 1975 by Hazelden Foundation)
I was especially struck with the words, “God has no reproach for anything He has healed.”
Sometimes, I don’t feel very healed. But is it really about my feelings? I believe, at least in my better moments, that Christ was God with skin on. I believe, at least in my better moments, that Christ died for all my sins. I believe, at least in my better moments, that I need to—and can go to God each day, each moment of the day, for the forgiveness of my sins. And in that moment, no matter how I feel about it, God does in fact forgive and heal me.
I need to quit picking the scabs off wounds that God is healing. I need to let the wounds become scars, scars that are as beautiful as the God who gave his life to heal my wounds.
“The Powerlessness of Success”
“We are just as powerless over
our successes as we are over the worst of our behaviors. We can only be
faithful to our duties and ourselves. The successes, which flow from our work,
come and go. Since we can’t nail them down, they may make us feel insecure.
Many a man has destroyed his moment of success because he couldn’t stand the
powerless feeling. We must return to our program and allow success to rise and
fall, as it will.
Today, I turn to my Higher Power for help in accepting success.” (Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations
for Men)
I don’t always handle failure well. I am generally about as unsuccessful at handling success. Let me explain.
One of my favorite Paul Simon songs is titled “Something So Right.” It could be the theme song for my life.
“When something goes wrong
I’m the first to admit it
I’m the first to admit it
But the last one to know
When something goes right
Well it’s likely to lose me
It’s apt to confuse me
It’s such an unusual sight
I can’t get used to something so right
Something so right”
I have known for quite some time that I don’t handle successes well. I had never thought about why. I think that this Hazelden reading hit the nail squarely on the head: Successes make me feel out of control.
But the deeper problem is not success, or feeling out of control, or even being out of control. No, the problem is wanting to be in control in the first place, and thinking that I should be. This has plagued me since the Garden of Eden.
So, here is the deal: I need to give up the illusion that I am or ought to be in control. But how do I do that? Giving up anything—even illusions—is not easy. Giving up the illusion of control makes me feel very out-of-control.
Perhaps I need to pull out an old theological idea from my mental attic: the sovereignty of God. The Bible, both the Old and New Testaments, indicate that ultimately, God is the One who is in control. The Bible affirms this bizarre notion, even as the Bible portrays the importance of human choice. And, of course, the Bible also portrays how often we screw up and choose foolishly. (If you think that the Bible tells us the way things should be, in some perfect world, you haven’t read the Bible. Perhaps the first two chapters and the last chapters do that, but there’s a lot of other really awful stuff in the 1185 chapters between those four chapters.)
If I think more and count more upon the sovereignty of God, I can relax a little. Perhaps then, neither failures nor successes will mess with my mind quite as much. Sometimes, I start my day with the following confession: God is God, I am not, and that is good. That is a good confession, no matter what the day throws at you, whether that be failure or (God forbid!?) success.
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